What % of FI'ers are motivated by childhood memories?

[Midpack]

We didn't have any childhood hardships, grew up very comfortable, but not rich. We always had everything we needed through college, but few extravagances. I was aware of some rich folks who lived nearby with big houses, expensive cars and a few servants.

What DW and I did carry on from childhood was living way below our means. Our parents did, and we just never knew any other way of living. Even in our 20's when we really didn't have anything, we never spent anywhere near what we earned, and every house we bought was far below what any bank or realtor told us we could afford, literally about half the cost of any of my peers throughout our adult lives. Throughout our 30's, 40's, 50's we spent far less than we earned, as low as 25% one (big bonus) year. Even now, we spend much less than we could, but don't feel deprived at all - and we're not.

And full circle, my Mom passed away 3 years ago and my Dad just recently. I had a pretty good idea what their 'estate' consisted of, but now that I know, they left behind a lot of money and property. My sister is dumbfounded, more money than she's ever had in her life. Before the last three months and some unusual medical expenses, my Dad was living very comfortably on about 20% of his income...and had for at least 10 years, probably more.

The habits they instilled in us, have made our lives much easier than most people we've known in our socioeconomic station.

 

[braumeister]

I hesitate to say we were "poor" but definitely blue collar. I can remember many times near the end of the month when all we had to eat was onion sandwiches on saltine crackers. But the great thing is that everyone else in the neighborhood was in the same socioeconomic bracket, so we all just felt this was normal.

It was only after I left home in my early 20s that I understood how much better other people had it.

 

[Cobra9777]

I had a very modest lower middle class upbringing. Neither parent went to college. Dad had a reasonably good office job but was unemployed on and off for several years in the 1970s. Mom went to work around that time and they both had side hustles to bring in much-needed cash.

Money was always tight. Mom sewed most of our clothes. We never went out to eat or went on vacation. But otherwise we always seemed to have what was needed and we lived in a reasonable, though modest, suburban neighborhood. Parents got divorced when I was in high school and the money situation got much worse. I was old enough to realize the seriousness of the situation and definitely felt some insecurity.

I started working two jobs at 16 and left home at 17. My two older siblings had done the same. Both parents continued to struggle with money, and even though both their side hustles had developed into fairly successful businesses (at least for a time), they both died with more debt than assets.

I moved to another state to attend college and supported myself, including tuition with no financial aid or debt. I was a case study in how to survive on ~$400/mo... lots of roommates, work at a restaurant for food, no car, take a semester off when money was tight, etc. I lived this way through 4 years of undergrad and another 3-4 years of grad school. I finally got a real Megacorp job at 28, after 12 years of supporting myself with lots of hard work and study. Retired 24 years later at 52.

My whole experience growing up and supporting myself through college had laid the foundation for a strong work ethic, LBYM, and saving/investing. The desire to achieve FI was motivated in part by a strong desire to not end up like my parents and never have that feeling of insecurity. That's not the whole motivation but definitely a part. Interestingly, my two older siblings are on the same path as my parents... on and off work, and side hustles that never lead to anything. Neither one has any savings. So yeah, I'm the "lucky, rich relative" who lives out of state.

 

[RenoJay]

I was very motivated by childhood memories. It turned out we were middle to upper middle class but my parents did a seriously good job of convincing me we were poor (I was afraid to ask them for running shoes so I could run track) that it really impacted my views and actions for a lifetime.

 

[CoolRich59]

It certainly motivated me. As a child, whenever I thought about my adult life, my dream was not to be rich, but just to be not so poor as we were.

This. I won't go into details, but also resolved in my youth that I would not live the way I grew up.

 

[FreeBear]

This. I won't go into details, but also resolved in my youth that I would not live the way I grew up.

Sums it up here too. On paper, we had the trappings of upper middle class. Two-professional household, recent immigrants who revered higher education. Sizable rental holdings. However, mix family drama, mental illness, and a slide into living in rentals in a bad inner city neighborhods, and I was inspired to find another way, any other way, to live. Fortunately, the folks supported most of my tech education and I w*rked for the rest.

I learned that I couldn't depend on anyone else to financially support me and my family. The downsizing and offshoring of the 2000 "lost" decade taught me to accelerate my early drive to FI.

I was blessed to have a family strong enough to raise me protected from the worse very worse tramas that can have a lifelong negative impact. Yet, I had to figure enough out for myself to learn that I, not some boss government or company, would have to keep on figuring it out.

No too people on this tread are saying that they had an EASY upper middle class or weathy upbringing and managed to FIRE. Maybe they are on trust-funders.org or Economic-Outpatient-Care.org

 

[audreyh1]

My parents were highly educated, but had modest salaries and thus were very frugal. Never missed a meal or had to worry about food or decent place to live. They grew up in the Great Depression so also had those frugal habits. They were moderate in many ways, such as never taking on debt other than mortgage, and never drinking more than two drinks at a party. They strongly encouraged academic achievement in their kids. I seemed to have picked all that up. Fortunately Dad had great retirement benefits, so I never had to worry about him.

I saw that it was hard raising 4 kids in their situation. I definitely decided I wanted to be better off financially. Fortunately I did very well in school and I went into a field that paid very well - completely different from my parents. Still avoided debt and saved a lot. Financial independence from my family was very important to me in that I hated seeing my parents pay for my schooling and I worked very hard to pay for as much schooling as I could and establish myself as an independent household as soon as I could. Heck I didn’t like them spending any money on me - bought my own clothes, books, etc., although they helped me with a old car and did provide room and board from time to time while I was in college.

But the impetus to retire early really was motivated by my mother passing just after Dad retired at FRA. I achieved FI very young due to a couple of lucky career breaks, and retired a few years after Mom passed.

 

[RobbieB]

My parents saved and invested and so did I. Nothing extreme, just don't spend all that you make and over time it grows to a substantial amount.

Some for now and some for later.

 

[Travelwanted]

Very interesting thread.

Lower, lower middle class for me. Money was a common topic - we don't have any. Rarely ate out - and then only fast-food. Ate left overs for days and days...ugh...

Started working before I could drive. At age 16-17 recall working at midnight on a particular Saturday night mopping floors at a fast food chain. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I knew I had a better future than this.

No doubt those motivated me to be a saver. Unfortunately probably too good at this point. Those "survival" instincts are hard to break. Easily 60x annual expenses but I still am at it...although only PT now.

Now that I am a 1%er, I fear how my kids will be with finances. I am trying to instill those important life lessons but it's just not the same when we do actually have the means.

 

[45th Birthday]

Some of your stories make me think I had it lucky. Seven kids. Father was a salesman (cars, insurance). Mother was SAHM, part time work later to chip in small amounts for my brother's and my college. Growing up, we always had enough to eat, but very basic food, homemade clothes. Got used toys for Christmas. All of us crammed into a small house. Somehow (probably Mother's parents helped) my parents turned the basement into an apartment for extra income. Mother's well-off sister also helped from time to time I think.

In later years, they inherited from mother's brother and parents, who were farmers. This along with SS gave them a comfortable life after retirement, though short because they died young from smoking-related diseases.

They didn't LBYM. They lived on what little came in. After my mother died, we discovered she literally kept a set of double-entry accounting books for the family finances to help budget and manage the household. Those skills were passed down to several of us in the family.

I don't think this experience caused me to retire early, but did get me out working as soon as I was able. And made me set my sights a little higher. Brothers did the same, but sisters for whatever reason didn't get those genes. Three have had multiple spouses and bankruptcies, still in debt approaching retirement.

I do think the money situation made us all a little dysfunctional about money. I'm still too frugal, one brother did well but gambled on investments and now lives modestly, other brother also did very well but seems to spend as a proxy for happiness. Three of four sisters spend beyond their means.

I wonder if most of the people for whom this thread resonates were already naturally pre-disposed towards keeping eyes on the finances, or whether circumstances dictated that. Cause versus correlation. Even in my own case, I don't know which factor influenced more. The emotional side remembers the cause, the intellectual side favors the correlation.

 

[slowsaver]

My parents constantly fought about money -- even if the PG&E bill was a little higher this month, or if Mom wanted to buy us school clothes, or anything that cost money. I'm not even sure if we were poor, since I never missed a meal or worried about a roof over my head. I hid the flyer from school that asked for money for school pictures, because I knew it would cause a fight. I put myself thru college.

Anyway, I guess I grew-up thinking the only way to have a peaceful life is if you have plenty of money to pay your bills. Yeah, I guess I was affected by that.

 

[razztazz]

I wonder if most of the people for whom this thread resonates were already naturally pre-disposed towards keeping eyes on the finances, or whether circumstances dictated that. Cause versus correlation. Even in my own case, I don't know which factor influenced more. The emotional side remembers the cause, the intellectual side favors the correlation.

It would seem the stronger theory. As I mentioned in my post I was always compelled to save. Like "FEAR SAVING". My sibs, not so much. One, buying things made him happy and was always sort of confused when I'd mention perhaps not buying it. Another has always had "hustle" but she never seemed to break in to the big time. Just an endless life of paycheck-after-paycheck with just enough to avoid disaster in the bank. A third one.... I have no idea how he manages to live but I know he is essentially broke but with plenty of "beer money".

We all had the same environment growing up. Not a case of the first two had it bad but then dad hit it big and the later ones had it better. Or dad went bust at some point.

 

[iloveyoga]

Maybe it is not surprising that so many of us ended up on this board. I came from a family of seven kids, my Dad worked for the railroad. We always had everything we needed, but no extras. We never ate out, camped for vacation, etc. etc. But we learned great values from our parents. Since there was literally no extra money, we did not even ask. We all started working as early as we could for our spending money and all of my sibs are quite successful today.

I was a young Mom and started with very little. My DH and I did all that the hard, slow way, but things turned out great for us.

I have enjoyed reading your stories and I am struck by the similarities of many.

 

[NW-Bound]

I don't know if childhood memories have that much of an influence. While we were never hungry in the old country (we are immigrants), we were raised by frugal parents, and they would tell us of the hardship they went through in WWII in their early adulthood.

Being of a pessimistic nature, I never took anything for granted, and always liked to have a big stash to allow me to feel secure. I read or watch people in financial misery, imagined myself in that situation and told myself that I had to take reasonable measures to avoid it. LBYM came so naturally that I simply do not understand how people can spend all that they make and live paycheck-to-paycheck, the same as I do not understand how people shoot themselves up with heroin. No comprende. Good thing my wife is the same.

My brother, younger by 4 years, was old enough to remember some rough spots in our life back in the old country, but he spends a lot more freely than I do or my older sister does. Hence, I do not think childhood experience matters that much. It's all about one's personality.

 

[marko]

No too people on this tread are saying that they had an EASY upper middle class or weathy upbringing and managed to FIRE. Maybe they are on trust-funders.org or Economic-Outpatient-Care.org

If I may, I'd like to offer a respectful view from the other side of the coin.

My mom grew up quite privileged. Her brother (my uncle) never really worked a day in his life. He spent most of his time at the beach, travelling, skiing and essentially being a 'bon vivant' along with a bunch of friends of similar means. They were always lounging around my grandmother's house, deciding where they'd all go for dinner while sipping drinks on the lawn. Washing each other's cars was a popular activity and the most I ever saw any of them do. It was all one big party and seemed quite enticing to a 14 year old.

While he wasn't really a role model, he did give me insight into a world well beyond 9 to 5 and from an early age my dream/goal was to 'not work' as soon as possible. From my young perspective, people who did not work were in the minority but not all that unusual.

High school then introduced me to a number of trust funded kids who's life's expectations and perspectives again went beyond the 9 to 5 grind.

For me, an interesting job with great perks intervened on my life and my ER plans were put on hold. 32 turned into 45 and then I RE'd involuntarily at 53.

During that time however I quickly saw my work peers fall into the Keeping Up with the Jones' trap and I realized that no matter one's means, LYBM is the only way to get off the treadmill and start having the time for washing my own car in the driveway.

Several of my high school chums did well, a few died way too young (drugs) and a few more are flat broke (or died that way); too much time on their hands.

So. My motivation for RE was somewhat different and took some life-turns a bit differently but here I am today, having finally RE'd 13 years ago next month.

 

[EastWest Gal]

My childhood stories:

Always camped for vacations. My cousins went to Hawaii. My dad was the eldest who watched his parents sell off thousands of acres of California farmland due to drought/debt. My mom ‘s parents divorced in the 1930s and her mom worked in a cannery and bought s beautiful home in SF (little did we know). Their frugality and unnecessary economic insecurity led me to choose a career in medicine, with its major economic security.

It shaped my married life, moved me 2800 miles to a life that worked for my family, and fed me the stress of sole breadwinner responsibility. I get what many of the men here go through.

In 2007 I started managing my dad’s finances and discovered the truth-he was wealthy, yet envied his sister’s greater wealth. My inheritance in 2009 made me suddenly FI a few years early, but more importantly, my sister experienced sudden financial relief, which changed her life and our relationship for the better.

My sister spent a lifetime as a lower income breadwinner, working awful hours and overtime, her DH having been laid off by Boeing and struggling thereafter. Her inheritance helped her health and sanity, and our phone calls sometimes center around the markets. Who would have thunk?

 

[DrRoy]

I did not grow up with any hardship. I was just a natural saver since I first hoarded my Halloween candy to last a very long time.

 

[traineeinvestor]

Childhood wasn't where I learned the lessons that helped me FIRE.

I grew up in a reasonably affluent household. Several of my parents friends and relatives were moderately wealthy.

I was at university/working for a finance company when the 1987 sharemarket crash started the worst economic downturn my country had experienced since the Great Depression. Unemployment soared and property prices plunged. I got a ring side seat watching people who had been prosperous (including two of my mother's siblings) go broke – loosing their businesses, investments and their homes. All too often, marriages fell apart under the stress. One of my father's acquaintances went from the local rich list to jail.

I went back to university to finish a law degree and started my legal career in 1990 – doing mortgagee sales and corporate insolvencies. Basically, I was watching careers, businesses and dreams implode.

My father came close to losing everything – shutting down his business to salvage what he could.

I was, I think, fortunate to learn the benefits of borrowing and the risks of over leverage and lack of liquidity at that stage of my life.

 

[Choices]

For a while there, I thought I was back in group therapy.
We always had food, not great food but we did have money for alcohol and tobacco. My mother had a little contraption that rolled cigs. We literally moved every year, always to a cheaper rental. One had a snake wriggle through the floorboards.
One summer my 6 year old sib and I spent days on the boat with my father, at the time a commercial deep sea fisherman. Exciting for a 9 year old, especially during a squall.
Yep, there were lotsa fights over money, adultry, the usual.
I split at 20 and only went back sporadically. I worked and saved, my sib is retired but still picks up painting jobs whereas I have been able to volunteer my time and talents. Same experiences and gene pool but very different people.
Only one of my kids is very frugal, the others, not so much.

 

[Amethyst]

I knew a few kids like you; also girls, who ate their Easter candy a little at a time. I did not understand these children at all. I was one to eat all the candy as fast as possible, partly because I didn't get much candy and craved it, and partly to forestall sibling poaching.

You can't eat money, and we did not live within walking distance of any store. So when I was given money, or earned it doing chores, I saved it. I had a metal cat bank with a tiny key, and enjoyed "feeding the kitty." I would even open the bank, take the coins out and feed them back in again. Also had a little folder with niches for dimes ("Take care of the dimes, and the dollars will take care of themselves," it said) and got my own passbook savings account when I was around 8. I put $5.00 in it from an aunt and uncle, and loved going to the bank to get my quarterly interest (5%! After a year, a whole quarter, free, like magic!) stamped inside.

I did not grow up with any hardship. I was just a natural saver since I first hoarded my Halloween candy to last a very long time.

 

[gwraigty]

I didn't have it easy growing up, financially or in other ways. I was on the school free lunch program when it was a rare thing and considered somewhat shameful to have to be on. We lived in a former public housing project that went private. The rent was low, but you didn't have to be poor to get in. We were.

Broken home, father in the military for awhile, mother with a physical ailment, mental issues, addiction issues, who wouldn't work and spent all the child support money on herself. I was supported financially and to all intents and purposes raised by my grandparents. My grandfather had a low-paying job as a sheet metal fabricator. I didn't go without food or clothing, but I know the rent was sometimes paid late. Tenants were responsible for interior decorating, flooring, painting. One time, during a routine furnace inspection, the maintenance man noticed that the walls were dirty. The walls really hadn't been painted in a long, long time. So he reported us for it and we were given 30 days to paint the entire inside of the house or else be evicted. It was a scary time, but we got it done.

Early in my working life at 16, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Forget having my new-found money to spend on myself. Now I was responsible for paying her medical bills and I wasn't even an adult yet. That continued throughout her 11 year battle with cancer, which kept me tied down, unable to make a life for myself. I spent several months after her death still paying off the credit cards that I'd maxed out to pay for the narcotics and other items she needed in her final months.

I saw my grandfather laid off at 64, uncle laid off also at the same time from the same place at 32, mother more unemployed than employed for different reasons. I learned early on from all this that you couldn't depend on a job lasting until you're ready to be done with it and having more money meant that you have more choices.

My husband has seen co-workers nearing 60 regularly laid off, most recently in 2009, not so much since, AFAIK. Early in our marriage, I made it my job to make sure that if the time ever came for him to be shown the door that way, we wouldn't have to worry about food or a roof over our heads. Well, we're 55 and he still hasn't been shown the door yet, but we're not complacent about it. If he doesn't get to leave on his own terms, we're in a good place financially.

 

[ncbill]

Grew up much too affluent...developed plenty of bad habits due to that.

Then was out of work early on as caregiver for a parent, which did help me develop a LCOL lifestyle...& now I'm a caregiver again for one of their siblings.

Fortunately, DW will probably continue to work at least until we're eligible for Medicare.

 

[Hermit]

Maybe it is not surprising that so many of us ended up on this board. I came from a family of seven kids, my Dad worked for the railroad. We always had everything we needed, but no extras. We never ate out, camped for vacation, etc. etc. But we learned great values from our parents. Since there was literally no extra money, we did not even ask. We all started working as early as we could for our spending money and all of my sibs are quite successful today.

I was a young Mom and started with very little. My DH and I did all that the hard, slow way, but things turned out great for us.

I have enjoyed reading your stories and I am struck by the similarities of many.

My Dad also worked for the railroad. He spent his last couple of decades as the head of the civil engineering dept. although he never went to college. His dad before him had also worked for the railroad and worked through the Depression. I thought it weird when neighborhood friends would talk about their parents waiting until payday to go to the grocery store. I had no real concept about paydays because they were not discussed in our family nor were any other money matters. Only one car. My Mother never drove. The late DW came from a very poor family with divorced parents. She worked at the bank where I banked and thought I was rich. I wasn't too rich. We spent all that I had in the bank on our wedding and honeymoon. I never really thought about saving money other than enough for unexpected expenses until kids came along 10 years later. Then it was time to put some money away for college for the kids. We never had a problem living within our means so by the time the kids were college age, there was quite a nest egg in the bank and investments. By that time we could afford to pay for college out-of-pocket so the college savings became our retirement savings. I guess you could say I stumbled into FI and a comfortable retirement.

 

[iloveyoga]

My Dad also worked for the railroad. He spent his last couple of decades as the head of the civil engineering dept. although he never went to college. His dad before him had also worked for the railroad and worked through the Depression. I thought it weird when neighborhood friends would talk about their parents waiting until payday to go to the grocery store. I had no real concept about paydays because they were not discussed in our family nor were any other money matters. Only one car. My Mother never drove. The late DW came from a very poor family with divorced parents. She worked at the bank where I banked and thought I was rich. I wasn't too rich. We spent all that I had in the bank on our wedding and honeymoon. I never really thought about saving money other than enough for unexpected expenses until kids came along 10 years later. Then it was time to put some money away for college for the kids. We never had a problem living within our means so by the time the kids were college age, there was quite a nest egg in the bank and investments. By that time we could afford to pay for college out-of-pocket so the college savings became our retirement savings. I guess you could say I stumbled into FI and a comfortable retirement.

My Dad was a switchman (I think that is the right term). 40 something years. His Dad also had some kind of railroad job. My siblings were the first generation to go to college.

The RR has a nice retirement program!

 

[Walt34]

I didn't grow up hungry, but my family was pretty blue collar and lived pay check to pay check. Every big car repair was a trauma.

Same here. My parents grew up during the 1930's Depression and like almost everyone from that era was deeply affected by it. While my mother never had to stand in a breadline there were times they were only days away from it. We figured that was why when my sisters and I were growing up there was always about two or three month's worth of canned food in the basement, and later on the biggest freezer that J.C. Penny sold. We had to take not only the door, but also the door trim, off to get it inside. That's called "food insecurity" now and it clearly made an impression on my mother.

Dad's family was poor (grandfather worked in a paper mill) but they did have a roof, indoor plumbing, food, etc. so they were not impoverished. I don't ever remember them owning a car though.

Dad was an electrician and worked at the power company so there was a steady paycheck, albeit a small one. He was also an alcoholic and my mother made sure to buy the groceries on Friday evening when the paycheck arrived before he could spend it all on booze. When the three of us got to about Jr. High School age she worked as a secretary.

So we weren't on welfare or anything but any luxuries were very few and far between. A six-pack of Coke and a box of Ritz crackers was a luxury. I never went to bed hungry, we had indoor plumbing and heat in the winter so I suppose one could say the family was "working poor".

Dad did give us all a good lesson about credit card debt by going deep into it with a Montgomery Ward credit card, buying tools for the cars and house. We did all our maintenance, even rebuilding two car engines in the driveway. They finally realized what a deep hole they were in and it took three or four years to pay it off, which of course is "forever" to a teenager so that made an impression that still sticks.