Anyone Feel Guilty?

[Dd852]

Let's see...did anyone feel empathy for me when:

I was living below my means in order to save and invest?
Working 60 hours a week?
Travelling three weeks out of every month to advance my career and earning potential?

No they did not...so why would I feel even one pang of guilt for being able to retire when I did?

This is wise and I often forget it! The "old" life seemed so natural to me (because it was a habit of 25 years) and the new life so unnatural (because it is still new) that I forget that one is a direct consequence of the other!! It was not a lottery ticket that got me to this place in my life, but a long period of pretty hard slog -- I was lucky enough to enjoy it (or most of it), but that doesn't change the fact that it was hard work, long hours, lots of stress, lots of time away from home. So feeling guilty now would forget and negate all that went before.

 

[mountaintosea]

I guess I don't understand the question. I mean guilty? Really? I planned for it. Some people don't plan. Some people think things happen like magic! I've talked to these people. They thought I was miserly, too cautious etc. Guilty? Nah. I don't think so.

 

[aja8888]

Now why should anyone here feel guilty? The problem is that we are just talking to each other here and wondering if any feeling of not working anymore is connected to some personal guilt trip.

There are lots of folks out there that have never worked, or worked very little and are being supported by someone else or the government handout programs. I'll bet none of them are feeling guilty.

As a matter of fact, there is one person in our family that probably had an actual job once (many years ago) and has figured out how to get qualified for state and federal handouts for decades now. I personally know he is not feeling guilty, and as a matter of fact, is wondering why he is not getting bigger checks.

 

[redduck]

Let's see...did anyone feel empathy for me when:

I was living below my means in order to save and invest?
Working 60 hours a week?
Travelling three weeks out of every month to advance my career and earning potential?

No they did not...so why would I feel even one pang of guilt for being able to retire when I did?

Darn, I knew what the answer was going to be--but, you answered it before giving me a chance.

So, other than not letting others have first shot at answering your questions, do you have any idea why no one felt empathy for you? Sounds rather unusual.

 

[heeyy_joe]

Save those feelings of guilt for when you eat too much ice cream.

 

[Dcharles]

I felt a little guilt for about 9 nano seconds, but I have recovered my senses. Mega Corp has already forgotten I worked there so it is a two way street!

 

[ajs56]

No guilt whatsoever. I put my time in, gave my best effort, took my hits and rewards, and left when it was time for me to go. Opened an opportunity for someone else. They'll do fine without me.

+ 1.

 

[athena53]

I don't know if "guilty" is the right word, but I do feel something, compared to some of my friends who aren't doing as well as me. Maybe some form of "surivor's guilt"?

I feel a little of that- I know I was blessed with marketable skills and good health, and very few bumps in the road other than a spendthrift first husband. Not everyone can say that. One of my former HS classmates on FaceBook mentioned "our meager savings" but she retired from her job as a nurse years ago. Maybe she had back problems, I don't know- a lot of nurses have to leave early because of that. Still, she mentioned getting an iPhone and joked about her lack of tech skills, then later mentioned buying an iPad. If you have meager savings, why are you buying electronic toys when you can't even fully use them?

So, yeah, it's partly good breaks and it's partly the choices you make.

 

[kcowan]

Hey don't knock those iPhones and iPads. They are essential!

..Apple Shareholder

 

[athena53]

I'm a shareholder, too, and own an iPhone and 2 iPods, but still haven 't figured out if an iPod would perform enough laptop-type functions to make me happy. Guess I should be glad that so many people HAVE to have iToys, whether they can afford them or not.

 

[Andre1969]

Apple shareholder here, too. So while I try to be sensible with my own finances, I also don't criticize when others run out and buy the latest Apple toy. Heck, I even used my being a shareholder as justification for buying an iPhone last year. Although I went with the old 4S, which they were running a special on.

 

[NW-Bound]

I am going to do some voluntary wealth redistribution by cutting back on my lifelong DIY philosophy. Will that not reduce my guilty feeling?

I will start to pay others for more home and car maintenance and repair (besides, I am getting old and all the chores cut into my leisure time).

 

[athena53]

Apple shareholder here, too. So while I try to be sensible with my own finances, I also don't criticize when others run out and buy the latest Apple toy.

You know, sometimes I also feel guilty when companies dependent on consumer spending are racking up huge gains because people are buying stuff they can't afford. They get the credit card debt and lose the opportunity to save for retirement, and I get investment gains because I hold those companies or my mutual funds do.

I'm really good at finding ways to feel guilty.

 

[Chuckanut]

I figure that some deserving younger person now has a full time job instead of a part-time or temporary job thanks to my retirement. That can only help that individual as well as the economy as a whole. Since I am spending just about as much as I did before (except for transportation expenses), I am not negating the new spending done by the person who replaced me. Win-Win. Right?

 

[Alan]

It has been well over 4 years since I ER'ed and guess what? My old company has been doing extremely well, and the last pension report was great.

Excellent news for my pension, not so good for my ego - they didn't need me as much I hoped, but I'd rather have good news on the continued success of the company plus the knowledge that the "old guard" was not needed. (A year after I left they announced the end of the DB pension plan for all working employees,(converting it to a cash balance plan), triggering a rush to the exit for those that had enough years to retire.

 

[truenorth418]

Guilty? Not one bit. I worked very hard to get a college degree and a masters degree before putting in over 20 years of long hours, company loyalty, doing whatever I was asked and contributing a lot to the companies I worked for. The last company I worked for laid me off. Little did they know I had saved enough money to RE through living well below my means for many years. This was something I had been working on for a long time. I saved over 70% of my after tax income over my 20 year career. It was not always easy and I took a lot of teasing from friends and family over the years for my extreme LBYM lifestyle. Unlike others, I did not spend lavishly on a big house, expensive vacations and exotic cars. But I don't consider myself all that special. I set a goal, made some choices, and through hard work (and yes some good fortune) I achieved it.

 

[jollystomper]

I don't feel guilty for several reasons. I didn't steal or take anything from anyone unfairly; in fact, I didn't do anything "special" that anyone else could not have tried. I didn't come from wealth, in fact from a background that most folks would "assume" would lead to failure. Along the way, I tried to help others. I didn't blame others for the mistakes I made, I just tried to learn from them. I likely could have been much wealthier from a monetary standpoint if my focus had been on getting rich, but my focus was (and is) on doing what I can to help my family and my company.

Certainly good fortune played a part. But I can identify dozens of situations where DW and I did things with money that others laughed at for no other reason than they were impatience and "wanted it all now", and ignored our suggestions for patience. I feel sad for them, but not guilty as it was their choice to do otherwise and end up worse off because of that.

 

[kcowan]

Although I went with the old 4S, which they were running a special on.

I went with the 4S too but it was for the power cord compatibility with the iPad and it also fits all the appliances.

More screen is mostly for pictures but we view them on the iPad. Thanks Photostream and iCloud.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I don't feel guilty but I do feel like DH and I should do something in terms of a social justice, pay it forward type of project. Maybe something on the scale of our businesses but not for profit. Like Liam Neesom, we have particular sets of skills, though are are a lot less cool and much more nerdy, but they probably could be used in some way to have a national impact working for a political campaign or social justice nonprofit.

 

[edsahara]

No, I don't feel guilty at all. I was downsized 5 years ago (and had already reached an adequate level of FI), so I would have worked even longer had they let me.

What I feel now is that I worked TOO hard, put in TOO much time. What a shame that I had to devote so much of my best years to unappreciative megacorps. Weekends and two weeks of vacation per year - what little time to enjoy our lives!!! Well, I have time now and believe me I'm enjoying it!

 

[Teacher Terry]

I never felt guilty. I work p.t. for myself which I enjoy and do volunteer work. I also take some of my friends to appts, etc who for various health reasons can't drive even though they are only in their early 60's. Your health can be fleeting so enjoy life while you can.