Boredom in early retirement.

[Semiretired2008]

I think that you will find that whether or not someone is bored is that part of it lies in the definition of what constitutes boredom to that individual.

I was so busy yesterday with yard work / spring cleaning that I did not get everything that I intended to do done, but even though I was busy - I was bored. I would rather of been fishing...

 

[Lcountz]

"In fact, I can't imagine anything more boring than sitting in one of those ridiculous meetings, usually with a lot of people I didn't like, talking about stuff I wasn't interested in! Or sitting in my car in heavy traffic during one of those brutal Friday evening commutes! Or being forced to go into the office on a bright, sunny summer Sunday afternoon to work on some dopey PowerPoint presentation for my power-hungry boss (while he's out golfing)!"


You hit the nail RIGHT on the head...!!!!!!

 

[Redbugdave]

I work with a few people that won't retire because work is all they know. That is their identity.

The way I look at it...boring people have boring lives. Who wants to hang around with boring people? It's a self fulfilling prophecy they bring on themselves. Most people on these forums are just the opposite. Birds of a feather...

 

[FUEGO]

Sure I can understand these people. One dimensional people who aren't creative. And/or ego that is driven by control, power, authority, and need to feel important (real or perceived).

 

[ERhoosier]

Always felt that "boredom" depends more on the individual than on their ER/semi-ER/w#rking/schooling status. Has no one ever encountered a child or teen who insisted on being "bored" despite being offered dozens of activities?

 

[FUEGO]

Always felt that "boredom" depends more on the individual than on their ER/semi-ER/w#rking/schooling status. Has no one ever encountered a child or teen who insisted on being "bored" despite being offered dozens of activities?

Definitely an individual thing. Some people cringe at the thought of having, say, 2 hours of free time at home with "nothing to do". If, for example the power was off and their tv wouldn't work, and their smart phone was out of batteries, and their car was in the auto shop.

I can't recall a time in my life where I couldn't think of something fun or entertaining or useful to fill my time with. If it ever does happen, I suppose a quick google of "fun things to do" or "OMG I am so bored! what can I do to alleviate boredom?" would quickly give me some ideas. Or walk around downtown or the university and see what's up. Check out some lectures, music, arts, cultural events, ad hoc people doing cool stuff, etc. Build something, research something, organize something, try cooking something new, work out in the yard, etc. How can people be bored today?

 

[gerrym51]

Yeah. I don't understand it either. Think about all that extra time you could spend having sex instead of working. Oh, as my wife keeps telling me, I spend more time thinking about sex than actually doing the deed.

thats because she is not

 

[My Dream]

First off, thanks everyone for your replies and I’m not taking it person as feedback is what I really wanted.

I never planned on retiring in my late 40’s and it came as a surprise when I finally realized I was a workaholic and my marriage was falling apart. After retirement my life changed dramatically ………. for the better. I also know when I’m on my death bed, I’ll never regret that I didn’t work longer. If anything as much as I’ve increased the amount of time I spend with my family and friends by 1000 %, I still feel it’s not enough. Maybe since I’ve very handy, creative, have a great imagination and enjoy the company of others, I just can’t find the time to be bored.

haha
You’re absolutely right, not everyone is identical, or has identical situations in his/her life. I also know I don’t have the right to judge which is why I never responded to those comments. Rather I came to this forum to get a better perspective.
ER Eddie
I agree to a certain extent, "Work served as their identity and anchor in life”, it certainly was in my case until I was made to realized I was losing my family. Don’t get me wrong I liked my job which is why I didn’t have a problem being a workaholic. I was well respected and the money was great, it was just the workload and pressure I could have done without.
heeyjoe
As for some people are simply wired to keep work, maybe so, but I sometimes wonder if that time could be better spent with a friend of loved one………….. or maybe that was just my case.
Milton
I agree that I should show compassion, although I’m not sure I can and I’m being totally honest.
Katsmeow
I understood your analogy, thanks for sharing.
ER Eddie
I believe you’re correct, we, or I have become intolerant of boredom, I don’t know why, maybe because I see so much potential out there regarding broken relationships that could be mended if only there were more time spent with each other, or better communication, etc . When I take my dog for a walk I see many homes like my neighbor who is 65, I don't understand, when he says he would be bored if he stopped working, yet he allows his house to be run down even though he’s very handy and his marriage is falling apart, yet they won't seperate or divorce since they say they're happy. I know, don’t judge.
Arifriekinel
I was also self-employed and while at work I also wished there were 30 hours in a day since I knew if a contract took 1000 hours to complete, the more hours in a day, the faster the job could be completed. Time went by fast while at work, as I enjoyed what I did.
jags
Agreed, the sex did become much more frequent and longer lasting (better), no complaints for either one of us.
Midpack
I wasn’t expecting everyone to share my POV, I am only trying to get a better understand by having others express their POV.

Again, thanks everyone as you’ve made me realize that yes, maybe I’m the one with the problem since I shouldn’t let it get to me. People’s lives are there business, and whether they’re trying to fool themselves, others, or just being honest, I as well as others don’t have the right to judge them.

 

[Donzo]

I remember being bored in manager meetings while folks were up front pontificating......being stuck there for hours trying to stay focused.
In retirement I have not been bored. I always have something to occupy my thoughts -

 

[Felix Mulier]

I work with a few people that won't retire because work is all they know. That is their identity.

A long time ago, I used to wait at the bus stop with a guy who was retirement age (I was in my 30s). He dreaded retirement and told me "I can't imagine it. One day you matter, and the next day pffft! - you're nothing!"

I'll never forget that conversation. It taught me to not define myself by my job.

When I first retired, it was really difficult to get out the routine of doing as much as I possibly could, as fast as I could - multitasking, projects, etc. I felt guilty spending time on my hobbies. But then I decided "Hey - this is it! This is what I worked my whole life for - time to do what I want to do! So go ahead and do it! The other stuff will still be there after I'm done having fun."

Now that I'm retired, the answer I have for people who ask "What do you do?" is "Pretty much whatever I want, when I want!"

Retirement is an art, not a science!

 

[haha]

Yeah. I don't understand it either. Think about all that extra time you could spend having sex instead of working. Oh, as my wife keeps telling me, I spend more time thinking about sex than actually doing the deed.

Sounds like an invitation to action.

Lucky man.

Ha

 

[rodi]

I've had conversations with coworkers about this. My division is being acquired by another company so there's a lot of turmoil - changes in benefits, fears of layoffs, etc. I've mentioned that if I get laid off - I'm done... I'm retired. The shock isn't that I can afford it - it's that I'd get bored.

I already work an 80% schedule because as a working mom with schoolage kids - I'd explode without that arrangement. I'm way too busy/over obligated with parenting/volunteer activities. So when coworkers state they would need a place to go every day - I point out they could volunteer... Retirement doesn't mean staying home all day, every day.

Some of these same coworkers also max out their vacation on the books to the point they stop accruing it. (we have a cap on how much can be on the books.) I've *never* had that problem. They have limited life outside work. Even some of the ones with small kids.

I point out that I wouldn't be bored... as it is work interferes with my other activities, interests, obligations.

 

[FIREd]

Personally I was more bored at work than I have ever been since being left to my own devices.

 

[Dawg52]

I can easily see how some could become bored in retirement. Those that have devoted their entire lives to work and had no hobbies probably would. For me golf, hiking with mutt and looking after my mom my first 6 years after retirement has kept me busy. Now that mom is gone I still golf and hike, but I have been busy going through her house and getting contractors lined up for a kitchen and bath facelift. As soon as that is done, I will do the same in my house(aunt's old house) and put it on the market to sell. Maybe rent....but that is another story. And as the year goes on I plan to travel a bit.

I don't see any boredom looming in my immediate future.

 

[ronin]

I don't think that there is something wrong with boredom. It's a natural periodic experience. I enjoy it.

 

[gerrym51]

Lets see. Be bored at home. Be stressed at work.
I'll take the bored

 

[Notmuchlonger]

Well not everyday of my life is filled with loads of fun and excitement. But I think I'm pretty convinced doing machining all day wasn't much fun either I enjoy being a non productive member of society.

I recently did some volunteering. Then it became like work. People expected me at a certain time and duration. Needless to say I corrected that.

 

[sengsational]

... It isn't that you don't like desserts, meat, and fruit more. You do. It is just that you kinda miss the bread....

The point being that I think sometimes in retirement people miss some of the things that they got from work, whether that be intellectual stimulation, solving problems, making money, or whatever. And, they may feel that they can't find those things anywhere else once they retire.

I like the analogy. If you know yourself and can identify that your thoughts are separate from yourself, you might be able to identify what's missing. That's where creativity comes in. If you aren't creative, find someone who is and fill the gap!

 

[citrine]

I have no time to be bored...sleeping, internet, DH, family, friends, hobbies, yard, decorating, art, clients, garage sales, cooking.....not enough time in the day!

 

[Midpack]

Midpack
I wasn’t expecting everyone to share my POV, I am only trying to get a better understand by having others express their POV.

Fair enough. I've probably seen the question posed too often to be objective...sorry.

I can certainly understand how someone could get bored in retirement. Watching TV all day would drive me crazy, but some retirees do it. In fact, doing any one or few activities to the exclusion of most others would leave me bored eventually. I've read about golf or fishing enthusiasts who can only do so in their spare time while working, and plan to play golf or fish every day when they retire. Some may be happy as clams, but I've read some of them enjoy it for awhile only to find they're bored and they no longer enjoy an activity (golf or fishing) they once loved. But it certainly doesn't have to be that way, and shouldn't!

For me (and some others it seems) the key is a wide variety of activities, and changing them up from time to time, not unlike your first post suggested. And a good engaging circle of friends and/or family. Cheers...

 

[jollystomper]

Just my thoughts, as someone not yet retired but cannot ever seeing myself being bored (I'll have a bigger issue of managing my time for all the things I want to do):

- We seem to a much more "urgent" society, where we must be constantly doing something "productive". The idea of just relaxing and doing what you want usually means going at a much slower pace - and folks who see being constantly busy as "normal" might see that as boring.

- I love to read, and I figure as long as I can read, or have someone read to me, I'll never be bored if I can't do anything else. But reading, particularly long reading, is becoming a lost art. If it is longer than a tweet or a facebook post, folks get bored. If I have "nothing to do", grabbing a book an reading for a couple of hours is never tiring for me, or for DW. But to many reading is becoming "boring".

- Sometimes I think is part of the "guilt" or "rationalization" folks have when they hear someone has retired early or is about to retire. When I started working, when someone retired, people seemed more to accept that the person would not do whatever they wanted. Now when someone retires or mentions retiring, I more and more hear the line "but what would they/you do?" In some cases I see folks who cannot retire or haven't planned to retire rationalize things by saying "well, I'd be bored anyway if I retire". Perhaps it is a sign of jobs/careers moving from something you do to fund the things you wanted to do, to something you do to find your true value.

 

[ERhoosier]

Lets see. Be bored at home. Be stressed at work.
I'll take the bored

+1

I'm on leave now but just got off the phone with a buddy from w#rk. Funny how you forget what the j#b was REALLY like

 

[seraphim]

the point being that i think sometimes in retirement people miss some of the things that they got from work, whether that be intellectual stimulation,

rotflmao!

 

[seraphim]

Heading toward retirement at the end of the week, and the past month I've been finding myself spending more time in the recliner in front of the TV - and there's nothing interesting on except cartoons.

I don't expect this phase to last - even if I have to fight it. Just kind of of an acceptance that retirement is around the corner and I can do what I like, then. Too many places to see...

 

[obgyn65]

Boredom ? [mod edit] Let me change my answer to: Make more money, manage it well, and learn how to keep it all to yourself. This should keep you busy for a while