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Old 09-09-2008, 04:39 PM   #41
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Perhaps you and spouse should have a chat with your daughter. From what I have observed, such entitlement attitudes often become more entrenched as time passes (although I'm sure there are exceptions).

LOL We do chat quite often ...... Quite a different personality than her college aged sister, but isn't that always how it seems to go......
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:45 PM   #42
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LOL We do chat quite often ...... Quite a different personality than her college aged sister, but isn't that always how it seems to go......
Our 15-year-old is about to turn 16, and I'd call that age-appropriate behavior that's not worth worrying about. Of course it should still be called attention to whenever it happens and compared to adult standards.

I'm glad to hear that they improve by college age. That's what you're implying, right, that they improve?
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:48 PM   #43
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I'm glad to hear that they improve by college age. That's what you're implying, right, that they improve?
Maybe.....maybe not. But at least they move out - hopefully!
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Old 09-10-2008, 06:16 AM   #44
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Our 15-year-old is about to turn 16, and I'd call that age-appropriate behavior that's not worth worrying about. Of course it should still be called attention to whenever it happens and compared to adult standards.

I'm glad to hear that they improve by college age. That's what you're implying, right, that they improve?

I hope the 15yr old improves by college age but for my two girls I had one that never gave me the issues with "self promotion" that this one does. They are just two totally different beasts. The 18 yr old would volunteer to just eat the pickle and some chips off your deli sandwich plate so you would not have to buy a separate meal for her. She is a real sweet-heart. Course..... she could be playing me, because her acting that way just makes me want to reward her more!
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Old 09-10-2008, 12:41 PM   #45
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I'm surprised at all the negative responses.

I retired about 3 years ago - and I was more than ready to. But I still had moments when I felt "guilty" about retiring - perhaps some of it was what one person here referred to as "survivors guilt" with respect to those co-workers still working there.

And perhaps some guilt that I'm sitting around "doing nothing" as close friends and relatives are still slaving away.

Those feelings have disipated over the last couple of years - except when I think about my Dad who's in his 70's and still works 2-3 days a week - so yeah occasionally I feel guitly - but it seldom lasts long. (And I feel pretty happy a lot more often).

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Old 09-10-2008, 05:41 PM   #46
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No. I should have done it earlier. Life is good.
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:44 PM   #47
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Do you feel guilty about ER?

e.g.

- should still be w*rking, contributing to society?

- having too much fun, life shouldn't be this good?

...Vick
have not read the other posts....
my answer
HELL NO
for you martyrs, ... be my guest and continue to 'contribute to society'... I gave at the office.
there is NO such thing as too much fun ... an oxymoron
Life should be as good as you can make it.
that's my lie and I'm stick'n to it.
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Old 09-11-2008, 12:52 AM   #48
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This particular thread hasn't much interested me muchtill a phone call I had today.

I'll be ready to modestly semi-ER within a year should I so choose at 49 with DB COLA'd pension, investments, health benefits, paid for house, etc

I was recently on the phone for a long time with an old buddy known since childhood, just talking about stuff, this & that, & his business he's been trying to build for 15 to 20 years. While it's provided income, things just never "took off" for him.

While we always talk about how his business is doing & what's going on with that, and my "job", I really couldn't talk with him about my Semi-ER plans (& the concomitant excitement I have about it) knowing how many hours a week he's worked diligently for that many years & the prospect that the business "taking off" or retirement is nowhere in his forseeable future. I'm increasingly noticing a distance between us that seems to be related to that issue.

Is that guilt? Has anyone else dealt with anything like that with close friends as regards their own ER.
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Old 09-11-2008, 02:58 AM   #49
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Is that guilt? Has anyone else dealt with anything like that with close friends as regards their own ER.
I talk about my plans for ER in a year or two (at 48-49) with my sis and her husband...they just don't believe its possible, or that I'll do it. They don't believe it, because they can't do it and therefore can't understand how it can be done. I do not feel guilty about that. To an extent, I will be able to FIRE because I have been fortunate. But I have also used that good fortune wisely, have worked my @$$ off, and I have made different choices about spending and saving than they have made and are making. No guilt here.

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Old 09-11-2008, 07:19 AM   #50
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...While we always talk about how his business is doing & what's going on with that, and my "job", I really couldn't talk with him about my Semi-ER plans (& the concomitant excitement I have about it) knowing how many hours a week he's worked diligently for that many years & the prospect that the business "taking off" or retirement is nowhere in his forseeable future. I'm increasingly noticing a distance between us that seems to be related to that issue.

Is that guilt? Has anyone else dealt with anything like that with close friends as regards their own ER.
Here's a thread I started about that topic:
very early retirement - impact on friends
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Old 09-11-2008, 12:34 PM   #51
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I talked to a fellow Regional manager from mega pharma yesterday.....and no I don't feel guilty - I feel lucky - it has gotten worse since I left and there are now rumors of layoffs. Morale is very low and stress is high........yuck!

No guilt - just smiles - another beautiful day up here in the mountains!

I miss the company card tho!
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Old 09-11-2008, 02:00 PM   #52
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I think about my Dad who's in his 70's and still works 2-3 days a week - so yeah occasionally I feel guitly
Perhaps he enjoys working, for social reasons (gets him out of the house, helps him feel 'relevant', etc.). If that is accurate, there is no need for you to feel sympathy, let alone guilt.

Or perhaps he has insufficient resources and must work because he needs the income. In that case you should certainly feel sorry for him, but there's no obvious reason for you to feel guilty (unless you personally contributed to his financial situation by, say, encouraging him to 'live it up', or persuading him to participate in some dubious investment scheme): adults are responsible for their own decisions. By all means help him out if you wish, but do so out of love, not guilt.
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Old 09-11-2008, 05:25 PM   #53
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Do you feel guilty about ER?

- should still be w*rking, contributing to society?
In my view, I wasn't contributing to society, I was greedily lining my own pockets with money stolen (via deficit spending) from future generations. I was part of the problem, not part of the solution, to what ails this country and this planet. Never again will I place making money above morality, ethics, or my own personal values (whatever they may be). I'm lucky that I was able to escape while so many others remain trapped in a system that has gone terribly wrong.
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Old 09-11-2008, 10:29 PM   #54
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- should still be w*rking, contributing to society?
Other than firefighters (seems appropriate on 9/11) I am hard pressed to name a single occupation which unambiguously contributes to society.
Drug dealers - Most are very hard working (see Freaknomics) but contributing
Cops sure most do but what about the corrupt racist ones.
Doctors again almost all contribute but what about cosmetic surgeon who give breast implants to teenage girls are they contributing.
Lawyers - Hee Hee
Factory workers - Naw cause pollution, contribute to consumerism
Ad/Marketing executives- No way don't need more folks manipulating.
Politician
Military - too much money, too many dead bodies.
Plumbers - Nope the money they make discourages young people for attending college
College Professors/Teachers - No too many are incompetent or baised

It seems to me that for many people you can make a strong case that stop working is the way to make the biggest contribution to society.
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Old 09-11-2008, 10:34 PM   #55
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Yep, unless you're growing/raising food, building shelter or healing the sick, you might as well pack it up and go home, and remain there for further instructions.
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Old 09-12-2008, 12:39 AM   #56
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Having escaped from Mega-Corp with a pension, I'm now making a contribution by volunteering to clean campgounds for two days a week in the local National Forest. When ask about my old job, I laugh and say that my volunteer time is better than my old job ever was. I laugh a lot these days.

Most assuredly, Mega-Corp was not interested in making a contribution to society, they were up for taking a contribution.

Guilt? We don't need no stinkin' guilt.
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Old 09-13-2008, 11:37 AM   #57
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Plumbers - Nope the money they make discourages young people for attending college.
How is that a bad thing? Society doesn't need more unskilled people with B.A. or B.Sc. after their names. And those people don't need huge student loan debts, either.
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:19 PM   #58
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"Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness". As written in that most sacred of documents, the US Constitution. Everybody has the right to those things, and why should I feel guilty if I achieve them?

Now, I do sometimes feel bad that people I care for will not enjoy the freedoms I have, but it says somewhere in the Bible (or the script of Jesus Christ, Superstar) "the poor will be with us always". Poor by my definition meaning lack of FI. I worked hard to get where I am, and I got lucky in many ways too. I'm thankful, but not guilty.

It can be found in
ST MATTHEW 26:11
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Old 09-17-2008, 07:49 AM   #59
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One does not have to be working for a paycheck to contribute to society. I voluntarily sit on the Board of a local non profit elderly health care provider in my area. Two meetings a month is much better than 5 days a week.
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Old 09-22-2008, 01:14 PM   #60
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What a beautiful day today. Took the mutt on a 5 mile hike this morning at the local park. Pretty young ladies walking their dogs and a couple of people kayaking on the lake. My mutt sure enjoyed her swim. September sure has been mild here in Mississippi. Some years it can be just as hot as August. Looking forward to October, my favorite month of the year.

Guilty to be early retired? Nah.....
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