ER Angst

[haha]

My SO's ex wife asked me if I had a mini facelift or if I was using some miracle cream she could buy .

Given the source, that is a real compliment!

We should remember that for the most part the people who are posting here do fine financially and emotionally with retirement. Others are sometimes different. I know a few women who had to retire because of downsizing, or maybe health issues like back- who are fantastically active mainly as a way to get away from too much time with their husbands. One married woman I know stays home and paints or putters, then when hubby gets home from work she heads out. She isn't looking for love or sex; just respite from him. I told her if I were her husband I would kick her out no matter how much it cost me. She says he wouldn't, since he is not a saver and he doesn't want to give up half his pension.

"And it was fun fun fun till her Daddy took the T-Bird away..."

My mother did everything she could to avoid retiring, but when she had to because of age it was the beginning of the end. She and Dad were like oil and water, which can be negotiated when you only occasionally see one another, but gets tight after retirement.

If you are married or living with someone, it takes a truly successful deal to withstand retirement. And there seem to many such successes represented here. Congratulations people.

Ha

 

[HFWR]

Ain't seen my wife in two or three years
I'm a happily married man...

Duane Allman

 

[Khan]

Given the source, that is a real compliment!

We should remember that for the most part the people who are posting here do fine financially and emotionally with retirement. Others are sometimes different. I know a few women who had to retire because of downsizing, or maybe health issues like back- who are fantastically active mainly as a way to get away from too much time with their husbands. One married woman I know stays home and paints or putters, then when hubby gets home from work she heads out. She isn't looking for love or sex; just respite from him. I told her if I were her husband I would kick her out no matter how much it cost me. She says he wouldn't, since he is not a saver and he doesn't want to give up half his pension.

"And it was fun fun fun till her Daddy took the T-Bird away..."

My mother did everything she could to avoid retiring, but when she had to because of age it was the beginning of the end. She and Dad were like oil and water, which can be negotiated when you only occasionally see one another, but gets tight after retirement.

If you are married or living with someone, it takes a truly successful deal to withstand retirement. And there seem to many such successes represented here. Congratulations people.

Ha

I was pretty much impossible to live with when I was employed. I don't know about now.

I can see how all the changes one can go through after retirement could strain a relationship.

I can only congratulate those who have maintained relationships through the years.

 

[unclemick]

Given the source, that is a real compliment!

If you are married or living with someone, it takes a truly successful deal to withstand retirement. And there seem to many such successes represented here. Congratulations people.

Ha

I must have that scraggly stray dog look - cause I get adopted a lot.

I do draw the line at my computer room - I happen to like a little dirt, clutter and stuff strewn about - the old chemistry prof look(in contrast to a right and tight en ga neer).

A neat clean house, clean underwear, and well balanced meals/ full frig vs three day old pizza I can sorta tolerate since it comes with a women attached but:

I do dog it on yard work once in a while and have to motivate myself.

heh heh heh - I was canned/layed off in 93. Hindsight makes me appreciate the flying fickle finger of fate more and more as time passes. I gots that doing nothing in particular down fairly good by now.

 

[SarahW]

If you are married or living with someone, it takes a truly successful deal to withstand retirement.

My mother never worked outside the home and I recall how she dreaded my Dad's retirement. Him being home all day seriously interfered with her routine!

 

[Walt34]

If you are married or living with someone, it takes a truly successful deal to withstand retirement. And there seem to many such successes represented here. Congratulations people.

Ha

That part has worked out very well for us. We got closer after retirement, not having the distractions of having to earn a living. Although I'm working again now, and she plans to get a job after graduation, we both know that we don't have to work if we don't want to.

That makes all the difference in the world.

 

[SarahW]

how is your PRO (quit) and CON (don't quit) list coming along?
or you may have a PRO (don't quit) and CON (quit) list going?
either way, this is YOUR bus to steer.

So far, the "Don't Quits" have it.

 

[Moemg]

If you are married or living with someone, it takes a truly successful deal to withstand retirement. And there seem to many such successes represented here. Congratulations people.

Ha

Thanks Ha , I have to say I'm usually pretty easygoing but I can be a pain sometimes but after my husband died I thought about some of the petty things I bugged him about and decided life is to short to let those things stand in the way of a nice relationship .

 

[Sparky]

DH and I retired 6 years ago - this year he turned 50 and we celebrated at lunch - the waitress was shocked at his age and said (and I quote), "you don't even look 40"!

Needless to say, he was impossible to live with for the next few days!

 

[jambo101]

So far, the "Don't Quits" have it.

The problem a lot of people have when retireing is what to do, Some have so much to do there arent enough hours in the day,others have varying amounts of stuff to do and can be happy on those times when there is not much going on,still others have absolutely nothing to do as in no friends,no social life,maybe not healthy enough to go out and interact with the majority of the outside world,for the latter the job maybe all they have between a somewhat active and social life or an otherwise totally boring existence.
I've been retired for a year now and although i can usually keep somewhat busy in the summer i'm dreading the winter where most of what i do is housework,lots of naps,way too much TV,and my wife keeps telling me i'm getting too fat and drinking too muchDo i regret retiring?? no,but had the job been something enjoyable i doubt i woulld have retired,went out for breakfast this past weekend with my old boss and he was telling me how every Friday he is short staffed by up tp 20 guys,i offered to return to work part time (Fridays only),he's going to see what he can do.

 

[Nords]

I've been retired for a year now and although i can usually keep somewhat busy in the summer i'm dreading the winter where most of what i do is housework,lots of naps,way too much TV,and my wife keeps telling me i'm getting too fat and drinking too muchDo i regret retiring?? no,but had the job been something enjoyable i doubt i woulld have retired...

I think a crucial difference is whether one seeks activities/entertainment from within or from others. The problem is that each side (me included) finds it very hard to understand why the other is different or can't at least learn to cope.

I wouldn't mind spending a few hours a week with shipmates. I don't mind showing up for a few volunteer hours. However if I had an assignment to accomplish, workplace attire, deadlines, commutes, and maybe even a meeting... then it wouldn't be social anymore. And if I had to do it every week then I don't know if I could find the internal commitment.

... went out for breakfast this past weekend with my old boss and he was telling me how every Friday he is short staffed by up tp 20 guys,i offered to return to work part time (Fridays only),he's going to see what he can do.

Was the breakfast your idea? Or did the boss invite you and, say, about 19 other guys?

 

[Khan]

I think a crucial difference is whether one seeks activities/entertainment from within or from others. The problem is that each side (me included) finds it very hard to understand why the other is different or can't at least learn to cope.

I didn't socialize very much at all while working; after interacting with all those people all day, I just wanted dark and quiet and solitude.

After several years, I now tolerate (and even seek out) interaction.

But I am still quite happy to not speak to anyone for several days.

I wouldn't mind spending a few hours a week with shipmates. I don't mind showing up for a few volunteer hours. However if I had an assignment to accomplish, workplace attire, deadlines, commutes, and maybe even a meeting... then it wouldn't be social anymore. And if I had to do it every week then I don't know if I could find the internal commitment.

Absolutely.

I have been doing some volunteer work. After it was made clear that I will not make calls or organize events or attend meetings, we agreed that I will do data entry (which can be done at home on my schedule).

 

[haha]

Hope it works out for you Jambo.

Ha

 

[plex]

The problem a lot of people have when retireing is what to do, Some have so much to do there arent enough hours in the day,others have varying amounts of stuff to do and can be happy on those times when there is not much going on,still others have absolutely nothing to do as in no friends,no social life,maybe not healthy enough to go out and interact with the majority of the outside world,for the latter the job maybe all they have between a somewhat active and social life or an otherwise totally boring existence.
I've been retired for a year now and although i can usually keep somewhat busy in the summer i'm dreading the winter where most of what i do is housework,lots of naps,way too much TV,and my wife keeps telling me i'm getting too fat and drinking too muchDo i regret retiring?? no,but had the job been something enjoyable i doubt i woulld have retired,went out for breakfast this past weekend with my old boss and he was telling me how every Friday he is short staffed by up tp 20 guys,i offered to return to work part time (Fridays only),he's going to see what he can do.

Yes, it is all about having activities to do when you are no longer working. There needs to be something to fill the void once you free up time. Some people first work part-time in order to develop other interests to make the transistion easier. I think those who who are really happy immediately after they retire (and just stay that way) have had hobbies that work has been keeping them from. This is sadly the way it is for me. I say sadly, because I still have decade(s) of work still ahead of me, preventing me from doing what I really love.

 

[jambo101]

Was the breakfast your idea? Or did the boss invite you and, say, about 19 other guys?

Just me and the boss and it was my idea,me and the boss go way back to high school days and its more of a friend on friend relation ship than boss /employee

 

[freebird5825]

The problem a lot of people have when retireing is what to do,

I am FIREd 1 yr 7 mos now.
some days i have to make lists to keep track of all i have going on. whew! it's h*ll when you're popular.
other days i am 100% free (but never cheap ) and sit here and think of ways to make you all laugh and of course i get to laugh at your zany responses.
i'll share a little secret i read in Zelinsk's book - TURN OFF THE TV.
i can honestly say i think i turned it on maybe 20 times during the day since April 1, 2007. i'm serious. i get my weather from NOAA online, and my news from MSN online or PBS radio.
Music is my background noise. Books are my brain teasers. AARP has a puzzle and game page that is really cool. My garden and laundry and backyard are my exercise. My volunteering and weekly lunches are my social life. My 2 dogs are my daytime company.
I LIKE TO LIVE!!!!

 

[Moemg]

I never watch day time TV . I go to the gym three days a week . My ebay sales take up another two days . Besides that I have friends to meet , meals to cook ,cleaning , projects to start , laundry , the yard , books to read , emails to write, traveling , partying to be done and occasionally I fit in a nap .