I don't know where this originated; I received it in an email from my recently retired dad...
I worked forty-five years for someone else
so that I could retire.
I dreamed of sleeping late
And sitting by the fire.
I dreamed of long vacations,
Enjoying stage and song.
But, let me set you straight on that concept,
It is simply wrong.
I did junk my safety glasses
And the work boots that cramped my toes.
But, the rest of it had a mind of it's own
And this is how it goes.
My wife had been thinking of retirement
And had plans of her own.
She had spent much time with the kids,
But, now they are grown and gone.
We sold our chickens and rabbits,
So we wouldn't have that chore.
I poured concrete over my alarm clock
But, I still wake up at four.
I get my eyes checked on Monday.
Wife gets hers checked the next day.
I go for a colon check on Wednesday
And pass my wife going the other way.
I have a dental appointment on Thursday.
She goes for a test on her heart.
Friday we go get prescriptions filled
And browse a while at Walmart.
Saturdays we just stay home
And try to get the paper work right.
We can't take any over-night trips
'Cause we can't see to drive at night.
Restroom confusion keeps us out of church on Sunday
And we really do hate that.
There's nothing wrong with the restrooms,
We just can't remember where they're at.
We don't need to plan next week,
Just make sure we can drive.
And not forget where the hospitals*& clinics are.
We'll need them to survive.
Once a week we visit the cemetery
And it seems more like home each time we go.
I look around at the headstones
And see everyone I know.
So, don't build your castles too high, my friend,
While strolling through the clover.
This is a typical week in retirement
And on Monday we start all over!