FIRE --- How long to decompress and normalize

[East Texas]

It took me no time at all. My former staff thought I'd go nuts and have at least a part-time job within six months. Five years later I still have the silly grin on my face.

 

[FIREd]

Decompression: 1-2 months
Normalization: 6 months into retirement, I am still adjusting to this new lifestyle.

 

[ls99]

It has been 4 years or so, now I have a have a good start.

 

[Gotadimple]

I took the opposite approach: cleaned the slate right away, figuring I'd add things that I like one at a time when it felt right. So far, very few things make the cut. I remain embarrassed at how much I enjoy lazy-bumhood. This will pass.

Right?

Nope! Never, ever.

 

[Purron]

Took me longer than most. That old "German work ethic" that's part of my inner being. It's been 3 years and I'm now mostly comfortable with retirement. I'll be even more comfortable when my husband of 36 years joins me in retirement in about a month.

I still think about work a lot, but suspect that will diminish when hubby joins me in "unemployment". We're working on fixing up our home to sell and moving back into our old place that's been a rental for the past 12 years.

Once DH is retired and we're down to one place, I think I'll let go of my former work life once and for all. I hope so anyway. If not, I'll look to Nords to shake me out of it. Hey, let's go surfing

 

[RAE]

For the first couple months or so after retirement, I was waking up at the same time as always (too early), and feeling the need to be "productive" around the house. It was the middle of winter, so I occupied my time with various house projects (that had been put off for years), which was good for me (and the house). Once spring came, though, things changed, as I have a lot of hobbies/interests that I've never had enough time to spend on in the past. I got busy with all of those, and the time just flew by after that. Since that time, I've been more relaxed, I sleep better, and I rarely think about work any more. On the financial side of things, it took a few months for my pension check to get squared away and start arriving monthly, so of course when that occurred it helped ease whatever remaining anxiety I still had. So, basically it took me 3-4 months or so to get rid of the last vestiges of the old work life and transition into the new retirement life. After one year, I'm in a completely different state of mind than I was while working, and I can't imagine going back to that old life.

 

[Nords]

I am developing a cuple of new hobbies and have begun writing, the "work" I prefer.
Honestly, I'm probably a bad example. I have two kids at home. It's not exactly what you usually think of as retirement. There are schedules, meetings, etc. DW and I can't just drop and go. In a year or so, they should be old enough to leave over night. In 5 1/2, they will be out (or they better be).

Having to be "on call" but not "on hand" is how I got started with the writing.

I took the opposite approach: cleaned the slate right away, figuring I'd add things that I like one at a time when it felt right. So far, very few things make the cut. I remain embarrassed at how much I enjoy lazy-bumhood. This will pass.
Right?

My first post here was "This much fun can't be so easy, can it? What am I missing?!?"

Not much has changed since then...

 

[queeneev]

If I were *normal* I would have said 6 months to decompress and re-focus, but alas, I didn't get a normal FIRE. It turns out (in hindsight), that 2 weeks into my FIRE, my husband began an affair. What was supposed to be the most partylicious summer of my life became one filled with a deep sense of rejection and pain. He had me believing I was just paranoid or traumatized by retiring or having some type of midlife crisis (a emotional crime far worse than cheating, fyi).

Now 7 months later, I am still recovering from that emotional hurricane. Not every FIRE goes down as planned. Fortunately, I have always fended for myself financially, so despite the uncertainty of my life, FIRE is still a beautiful thing! Count your blessings, and always plan for Plan B.

 

[Purron]

If I were *normal* I would have said 6 months to decompress and re-focus, but alas, I didn't get a normal FIRE. It turns out (in hindsight), that 2 weeks into my FIRE, my husband began an affair. What was supposed to be the most partylicious summer of my life became one filled with a deep sense of rejection and pain. He had me believing I was just paranoid or traumatized by retiring or having some type of midlife crisis (a emotional crime far worse than cheating, fyi).

Now 7 months later, I am still recovering from that emotional hurricane. Not every FIRE goes down as planned. Fortunately, I have always fended for myself financially, so despite the uncertainty of my life, FIRE is still a beautiful thing! Count your blessings, and always plan for Plan B.

Wow. I admire your strength and positive outlook. Good for you for fending for yourself financially and otherwise. IMHO, this summer should be the partylicious time of your life! Go for it queeneev

 

[Danmar]

Not sure what you mean by " decompress". There are probably several levels of this. Getting more sleep may be the first level. It probably depends upon how emotionally engaged you were at work before retiring. I still dream about work and it's been 4 1/2 years. I think it took me several years to redefine who I was after I retired. During this time I was irritable and not as much fun to be around. Things seem to be better now, or so I've been told. No question that I love retirement but for me it was an adjustment.

 

[harley]

It took me a year or so to decompress, although I did it while still on the j*b. My last two years were just 9-5, low stress w*rk, compared to the previous 25 years of high stress, on call, never sleeping through the night BS. It took me well over a year to learn to sleep through the night. Once I walked away from the j*b, though, I was done with it. Mostly.

As far as normalize, I don't do anything ending in "ize". As JonnyM said, that's w*rk talk.

Edit: DW saw me post this, and pointed out that I have to apolog "ize" to her fairly often.

 

[jacob]

My career was a bit like a relationship (a calling, not just a job) and retiring from it was like getting out of said relationship. Getting out was something I started thinking about before I retired, so most of the "decompression" in the sense of disassociating "the meaning of my life" from "working at my career" happened prior to quitting. After I retired, I did not think much about my x-work at all.

 

[freebird5825]

It's been almost 4 years, and I think I am STILL decompressing.

Just kidding...I would guess it was almost a year before I lost that feeling of "I'm supposed to be somewhere doing something". Other forum members may disagree with the 1 year guess-timate.

 

[flyfishnevada]

Funny, my DW just found my two boxes from my ex-office. She was excited. She found a bottle of hand lotion and she was almost out. I have mixed feelings about going through them. I wonder how much of that stuff I considered important enough to take home then I would find important now? It's all personal stuff or work stuff that has personal interest like the videos of my news interviews and such.

Now I'm feeling like I need to go through them to kind of put that chapter to rest.

 

[Nords]

Funny, my DW just found my two boxes from my ex-office. She was excited. She found a bottle of hand lotion and she was almost out. I have mixed feelings about going through them. I wonder how much of that stuff I considered important enough to take home then I would find important now? It's all personal stuff or work stuff that has personal interest like the videos of my news interviews and such.

Now I'm feeling like I need to go through them to kind of put that chapter to rest.

It looks like you've been able to successfully delegate that to your spouse...

I have a box like that in our closet under the steps. There's no reason to keep certificates & awards and other historical documents, but there's no compelling reason to get rid of them either.

I have a bunch of paperwork like that for my father and grandparents, too, that will probably hang around our closet for another four or five decades until some Ohana Nords genealogy enthusiast is willing to take them off my hands.

Other paperwork-- like my command's receipts for turning in all classified material and govt property-- I think I'll keep until the statute of limitations expires.

I never got around to getting rid of my gold dolphin insignia and my old submarine coveralls, either, but now maybe I should save them for my daughter!

 

[chinaco]

Nice comments.

The word decompress and normalize are nebulous... but, Managers and Professionals in high stress jobs can relate to it.

 

[Midpack]

Nice comments.

The word decompress and normalize are nebulous... but, Managers and Professionals in high stress jobs can relate to it.

U betcha. I want to work, only reason I am retiring early is to let someone else worry about employees for a while. After a while the entitlement minded losers begin to drown out the good ones. My second career will be more satisfying despite less $...YMMV

 

[afntrn56]

U betcha. I want to work, only reason I am retiring early is to let someone else worry about employees for a while. After a while the entitlement minded losers begin to drown out the good ones. My second career will be more satisfying despite less $...

IMHO managers who complain about employees NEED to change jobs!

 

[chinaco]

IMHO managers who complain about employees NEED to change jobs!

You must be one of the problem employees.

It is never that simple unless a manager is dealing with a person that is a marginal or poor performer.

The job entails more than dealing with problem people. But that does surface sometimes.

 

[Midpack]

IMHO managers who complain about employees NEED to change jobs!

There are indeed horrible managers, IYHO I'm one of them based on your broad knowledge. However, there are many more insufferable employees, pretty much anywhere you go...and the good:bad ratios are probably almost identical at all ranks - that's all I'm saying. YMMV

Good morning BTW...

 

[afntrn56]

You must be one of the problem employees.

It is never that simple unless a manager is dealing with a person that is a marginal or poor performer.

The job entails more than dealing with problem people. But that does surface sometimes.

LOL Actually not but I HAVE had bosses that know what they are doing and they never have problems with the employees. Usually the employees will take care of business because they are motivated by the leader. If that isn't the case then it just isn't an ideal situation for either side really.

 

[afntrn56]

There are indeed horrible managers, IYHO I'm one of them based on your broad knowledge. However, there are many more insufferable employees, pretty much anywhere you go...and the good:bad ratios are probably almost identical at all ranks - that's all I'm saying. YMMV

Definitely two sides to every story but in the situations that work neither sides complain and those situations DO exist.. Been there done that...

 

[chinaco]

LOL Actually not but ....

That is the common response.

.... Usually the employees will take care of business because they are motivated by the leader....

Now, there are bad places to work and there are bad managers for sure... But no one can motivate you but you!



Managers put up with complaints all the time. It comes with the territory. There are some people that are chronic complainers.

But you can bet... they know who is a good performer and who is marginal or poor.

 

[afntrn56]

Now, there are bad places to work and there are bad managers for sure... But no one can motivate you but you!


WRONG

I work in a research and development area and if you get the right team with the right leadership it becomes infectious.

 

[chinaco]

Now, there are bad places to work and there are bad managers for sure... But no one can motivate you but you!


WRONG

I work in a research and development area and if you get the right team with the right leadership it becomes infectious.

I don't know what kind of situation you are in... the environment or management might not be good. IMO - some managers like some employees are not stellar performers.

But motivation is usually related to the person and their outlook. You can choose. That does not mean that one does not have frustrations and challenges.