Forcibly "retired". Not all its cracked up to be..

[athena53]

Forcibly "retired". Not all its cracked up to be..

I have so many thoughts on this, I'm writing them from a recumbent bike in the fitness center rather than wait till later.

First, I also retired earlier than planned. I'd been with the company only 15 months when politics got toxic and my last day was a week after I called my husband and said, "I think I'm going to quit my job on Monday". That was May, 2014. Life is wonderful.

I have to admit I still dwell on what I might have done better in my career so I could leave at the top, not middle management and under a cloud. I try not to spend much time on it-water under the bridge. When I'd had time to think about all the ways my passive-aggressive boss mismanaged things, I actually sent him a note with examples. No threats, no histrionics- just "I'm telling you this so maybe you won't mess up like this with someone else". Oh, yeah- the scheming bit*ch behind it all was forced out a few months later.

Anyway- a lot of the shame you feel was thrust upon you by soul-destroying policies- walking you out the door, treating you differently from a retiree. I've worked with companies far more gracious. THEY need to be ashamed, not you.

Second- it's OK to deplore the way you were treated but be grateful that you could retire early. They didn't give you a gift- YOU did by your careful retirement saving and planning. Give yourself credit and go do something you love. Send your former coworkers a postcard from Hawaii. (It's a federal offense if they refuse to deliver mail from you, right?)

 

[Aerides]

OP that sucks, and I'd be royally pissed too.

But, as others have sad, please find a way to put that behind you, and quickly. It's already eaten at you for months, don't give them any more of your time. And I know that's easier said than done.

So what now? You are 18~ months ahead of your DW in retiring. You can play role-reversal for a little while now and look like a Prince to her when she comes home every night. No, i'm not saying do all the ironing and cooking and cleaning, but a little bit more (even 5 mins every day) will go a LONG way. Especially if you aren't all "hey look what I did for you". She might not always say something, but trust me she will notice and be thrilled.

Then turn your energy to the future, and plans for when you are both retired together.

 

[Hermit]

If I want to get together with former coworkers, some still working and some retired, I send them an e-mail and ask when we can get together and we pick a spot for lunch. Works for us.

Of course here recently I have been giving a couple of them a bad time. I'm a Bronco fan. One is a Steelers fan and the other is a Patriots fan.

 

[MRG]

I felt some of the same. I left on my own but I was really avoiding the new regime. I was too invested. I can't go in any buildings either, secure building and I have no business reason. I'm to the point I no longer care at all. That is very empowering! I realized that all of that was my past. It had a purpose and that's been fulfilled.

I'm living in today now and looking forward for tomorrow.

 

[audreyh1]

I think that was a good honest rant, and you are getting some good honest commiseration and consoling advice. Best of luck to you as you move forward from this disappointment.

 

[rdy2go]

There's no reason to be ashamed of anything, you did your part but management failed in their part. They should have offered a retirement party and a fond farewell to you for your loyalty, but anymore, corporate management is little more than a collection of selfish egos that are all looking out for number one and to hell with everyone else. When it is their turn to get kicked in the crotch they won't like it either. It is time for your Elephant Walk. Be thankful that you got out with your health, enough money to live well for the rest of your days and the freedom to enjoy life while the rest of the world is w*rking in the salt mines.

Gig 'Em from a Red Raider

 

[Bamaman]

I too was a little bitter when my boss called me when driving thru another state and told me tomorrow was my last day of work. I was exactly 58 1/2 years old.

Things were not very clear at the time. I now see that I was in the second wave of forced retirements. The third wave got the rest of those long term employees 55 years of age. it was nothing personal against me. It was a bottom line business decision where the company overreacted to 2008's business downturns.

In my case, they paid me another 5 week's vacation and I drew unemployment for just under 2 years. The company also gave a pay supplement 3 1/2 years until I could apply for social security at age 62. I purchased healthcare through the company and they subvened the rates until I got old enough to go on Medicaid--and I had a Retiree Health Savings Account (like a 401K) that paid my healthcare premiums. And I started drawing on my defined pension. My wife and I are still on their Medicare Supplement that's a Cadillac policy.

In other words, I got back at them through their pocketbook. And for that, I feel really, really good. And I laugh every time I think that they're trying to run a $13 billion manufacturing operation without experienced people.

 

[cyber888]

Darn, your situation is 'heaven' compared to mine. I mean, you're 62 and you can collect SS income anytime and your wife still works. I'm leaving my work in about 8 months, because of a disagreement with the boss and I'm only 52 and my wife does not work. I'm looking forward to my new life, and you should too. My advice - don't dwell on the past. You've got 20-30 years of retirement ahead of you. Don't get attached to your work - it's done. Gotta move on and be happy. At first, it's going to be very bitter, but if you don't dwell on it - that anger and bitterness will disappear. Good luck.

 

[Texas Proud]

Are you sure that you cannot go to those events


I was let go from mega, but I still get invites to events for former employees... they do not make a distinction why you are not longer working there...


OR, what would they do IF you showed up and acted like you were retired


I would bet most folks would welcome seeing you and I doubt that there are going to be 'laid off' police there to make sure you do not attend.... the big thing is to see if you can be put on the mailing list... heck, just ask!!! If you act like a retired person they just might see you as one....

 

[kneehigh]

aggie, sounds to me like you had way too much of "you" invested in your job. You aren't your job, and the sooner you realize that the quicker you can get on with the rest of your life. Dwelling on how crappy you were treated won't change anything and will only screw up what I've found are some of the best years of my life. You are your own worst enemy if you let this happen.

As to having "nothing you have to do", are you sure you're actually married?

Totally agree....

To OP, they let you go not because you're ineffective, but it helps mega-corp's bottom line. You're at the top of your pay grade and they'll have to cover your medical insurance once you retire. So, don't beat yourself up.

Don't dwell on it too long. Unfortunately, they had to come up with reasons, most of it probably bogus, to let you go. The way you were let go, your lost relationships and expectations of the way your career was going to end will continue to come at you often for months until you lose the emotional grip. The quicker you lose that grip, the better you'll feel about your present and future plans. Trust theses guys that have made the same comments in this thread.

Create your own story and memories about what your past work means to you. Think about all those guys you've influenced over the years and pat yourself on the back. Then leave it in your past because you have a lot more things to look forward to as you will begin to realize.

BTW, if you have a Netflix account, watch "HAPPY". A study was done on "happiness" and the researchers found that happiness is based on 50% genetics set range and 10% from circumstances such as income, social status, where you live, age and the other 40% is due to intentional activity--actions you choose to do (Happy, 1:8)

You will surprise yourself at how much happier you can be because now you're deciding what to do with your life instead of mega-corp and one day, you will see that letting you go was a blessing in disguise. Find new friends, learn new activities, spend time with people who mean a lot to you, travel where you want. Guaranteed your future is a big surprise one after the other. Live it well my friend...

 

[Quest4Fire]

aggie76, you have every reason to be furious. That did not happen to me, but if it did I know I would be working through some serious anger issues.

On the other hand, it's time to start thinking of YOU first, now. Feelings like what you have expressed, while 150% justified, can't help anything and they could lead to a heart attack or even to your early demise. Why let them steal the best years of your life from you?

When you feel ready to let this go, I'd suggest looking towards the future. Remember that all those back at the company are chained to an alarm clock and battling traffic, while you get to sleep in and then do whatever you choose to do all day. When you feel you can, I'd start thinking about the retirement you dreamed about all those years, and making it a reality. The best revenge is living well.

+1


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[Calico]

Like you this was my second time. I was zapped ( along with most of Houston) in 86 and that was a lot worse. I did not have any money saved and there were absolutely NO jobs in Texas back then. It was absolute hell and damn near turned me into a raging drunk !!! I survived that bust and swore the next bust would be my last ( it is)

Meeting a guy in 30 minutes to discuss going to work for the local government part time to give me something to do, little pocket money and to help in an area where I have a LOT of contacts. Should carry me for th next year or so until Mrs 76 can join me and we can HIT IT !!!!

First, let me say that I totally understand your feelings of anger. There were a thousand better ways for them to let you go, and they picked the most demeaning one.

Second, you have absolutely NOTHING to feel shamed about. You gave your heart and soul to that place, and 30+ years of hard work, and you can hold your head high knowing that.

Third, I agree with previous posters that holding onto the anger will only hurt you, and (sadly!) has no effect whatsoever on the lowlifes who let you go that way.

Let us know how the interview for the PT government job went. The fact that you are being proactive in that area (even if this particular one does not pan out) shows that you are resilient, forward-looking, and confident in your abilities. Obviously it was the company's loss when they let you go.

Finally, there is nothing to prevent you from getting together with your friends from w#rk (outside of the w#rkplace) for lunch, etc. If you do pursue that, make sure you are doing it because you want to see them and enjoy their company, rather than an opportunity to "relive" the hurt feelings about the way you were let go. Although maybe a LITTLE venting and ranting and talking smack about the azzholes who did it wouldn't hurt - just once, at the first lunch!

Best of luck to you.

P.S. If you contact old work friends to ask them to get together, don't be surprised if one (or some) of them hesitate. It's just possible they fear the same thing that happened to you could happen to them, and they might think that by avoiding you they could somehow "protect" themselves. (They are wrong, of course, but some people rationalize like that - I have seen it).

 

[Coolius]

The final cartoon of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes is relevant to the OP's situation, I feel.

Look, the old world has changed. The new world awaits, a fresh clean start, full of possibilities......let's go exploring !!

 

[Loving Life]

I am in the oil business, I went through the very same thing at 57 - in the office at 7am out by 8 am - No retirement party, no saying good bye, just ousted out the door - I took about a year off, getting rid of the bitter after taste - I then decided to put out feelers with all my old contacts, got a 2 year contract in Dubai, then another 2 years in Asia, now working on my 3rd and last 2 year contract. (I am now getting at the age I am unable to get working visa) - oh well, now I will be going out on my terms, and not by some young a## H### who did not want us old folks around ( Though he did get demoted for letting 200 years experience walk out the door with no plan to capture the knowledge)

 

[sdtech]

Are you sure about the part where you aren't considered a retiree? At least in my mega corp, people who left voluntarily or were laid off are considered equal if they qualified for a pension. Everyone was always glad to see anyone who had left at any function. Certainly during the lay off window, exclusion rules applied as the lawyers are worried about theft and retaliation. Afterwards it just didn't matter.

 

[Jerry1]

But I've heard for a lot of family and friends who are retired and they ALL say that in a year or 2 virtually ALL of their old co-workers have drifted away from them and their old companies.

This has been my experience. On retirement day everyone says "keep in touch". Most people never do and the few that keep in touch only do so for a short period of time. If a co-worker has never been to your house, they're probably not one of your true few friends and you will likely never see them again.

Personally, I think I might connect with some of the guys for a round of golf once or twice a year in retirement, but I'm not counting on it. Their life goes on and yours does as well.

Sorry for the way that went down though. We just let a few people go and it was handled in a very similar manner. No good.

 

[brett]

Move forward and get past this.

Resentment only has one victim.

 

[marko]

But I've heard for a lot of family and friends who are retired and they ALL say that in a year or 2 virtually ALL of their old co-workers have drifted away from them and their old companies.

....and you'd want to stay in touch with people like that...why?

It's like high school: everyone swears they'll stay in touch "4 eva" ("friends for life" and all that) but few do.

I know it's raw for you right now, but someone said it earlier: you need to suck it up and move on. You've a whole new life ahead of you; don't keep looking backwards.

Like me, your work was more than a paycheck; it was a good part of your life. But you have to realize that for most people it is just a paycheck...and perhaps the wiser for it.

 

[cyber888]

When I read your "rant" I thought to myself, this is why they won't allow you onto the property. Your post sounds very scary by how much you think you are entitled to see your "family" and attend events. Honestly I thought this is exactly the feelings a person must have before they grab a gun and do something incredibly stupid.

You have to decide if you want to die a bitter old man or live the life of a happy retired man, but dwelling on 1 day at work is not the way to be happy.

This is why they ban ex-employees from the workplace perimeter.

 

[rayinpenn]

A good friend and 38 year employee was fired years back; he and the guy who fired him teared up when it happened. My buddy was angry and a bit ashamed. I thought my god the guys been with us for 38 years (his dad worked for us 40 years too) and they waltzed him out like he was a bum. He wasn't the first I'd seen fired at someones whim "you didn't rate as high as your peers".

Having observed this too many times something changed in me. I knew the answer: FI. Once I achieved now I feel they can waltz me out anytime they want. But I'll be dancing a jig! I'll gladly take your severance and unemployment to boot...sweet!

My friends will still be my friends I will still be me. I won't waste one precious moment with anger. I'll smile keep my head up high - and think I'm leaving here with so much more then when I came. Ashamed? I can't control what people do - there will always be inequities. No I'll be focused on what I want to do with the rest of my life.

By the by They are the ones who should be ashamed. Did you give value for the salary you received? Of course - you held up your end of the deal - why would you be ashamed?

The next time it snows or is 12 degrees out in the morning pull the covers up, snuggle in and smile.



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[Music Lover]

If a co-worker has never been to your house, they're probably not one of your true few friends and you will likely never see them again.

That's a good rule of thumb...of all the people who have retired before me (I have 2 months to go), the only ones I still see are those whose house I have been to, or have been to mine. We were co-w*rkers that became friends. All the others, in spite of how well we may have got along were just co-w*rkers and nothing more.

 

[Dcharles]

I agree with most of the posts. Take some time for yourself and feel lucky you are not still in the middle of working for those who decided to end your carrier a bit early. Just say.....good riddance. Sure, it may be sad to leave work friends behind and the bitterness of stupid management will wear off in time. I found it necessary to forgive "them" so I could move on and have a happy early retirement. After a while, you will cherish your time and freedom much more than trying to keep ahead and impress some clueless supervisors looking out only for themselves. I am sure many on this site had great relationships with their jobs and working team mates. However, for those who had to leave a toxic work place.........life is better being away from the idiots who made your work place a toxic place.


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[Clone]

The future might be real bleak for them because loyalty is no longer a word that new generations wants to use.

At one point the old MagaCorp stated that they would be going to more contract and contingency employees because you could increase or decrease the workforce without the benefits and overhead associated with career employees.

A few months later several of the contract engineers left for greener pastures at another company. A couple of the managers were heard in loud discussions: "What's the deal with these people? Have they no loyalty what soever?"

 

[Teacher Terry]

That is really terrible what they did. However, there is nothing that you can do to change it so I would focus on your happiness right now. I have been retired for 4 years and rarely ever see anyone from work. That actually surprised me especially with one person that we had been to each others homes, worked together for 15 years and I really thought was a friend but wasn't. Being angry just hurts you so I would forgive them and move on.

 

[target2019]

At one point the old MagaCorp stated that they would be going to more contract and contingency employees because you could increase or decrease the workforce without the benefits and overhead associated with career employees.

A few months later several of the contract engineers left for greener pastures at another company. A couple of the managers were heard in loud discussions: "What's the deal with these people? Have they no loyalty what soever?"

Mega tried to bring me back twice as the contingency. No benefits, no unemployment, no brains. Dang, and no retirement party!