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View Poll Results: If you had the choice How would you live?
Together with spouse or So in one house 64 73.56%
Down the street from each other 9 10.34%
Miles away 1 1.15%
Totally by myself 13 14.94%
Voters: 87. You may not vote on this poll

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Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 11:26 AM   #1
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Living arrangements

Since this topic has come up I thought we should do a poll on living arrangements.
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 11:48 AM   #2
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Re: Living arrangements

How about totally by myself, down the street from Frank?

I marked down the street from each other.

Frank and I have been together for 7 years, and this arrangement seems to work for us. Well, actually we are 1-2 miles apart right now, but it's the same basic idea. When we retire, it would be nice to be within walking distance of one another.

We don't mix our money or anything financial, and while I don't do laundry, sewing, or cooking for him, he doesn't do repairs, mowing, or heavy lifting for me either.

It's amazing how greatly this adds to the harmony in our relationship, without really affecting the emotional commitment.
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 12:12 PM   #3
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Re: Living arrangements

Since I have no spouse or SO, and I'm not looking for either, and I really love my solitude, I voted "Totally by myself".

Even in the past when there was a SO, I very much preferred some distance between us....either a couple miles (or more) or better yet another town. When I (or she) wanted "me" time, we didn't have to worry about bumping into each other around town.

What's the old saying? "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"? (Or in my case, "Distance gave me the time and space to ask myself 'What the H*LL was I thinking??' "
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 12:15 PM   #4
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Re: Living arrangements

I guess I'm really fortunate in that I love living with my husband.
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 12:54 PM   #5
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Re: Living arrangements

I voted "down the street," though I think this can change depending on what my SO is like. Currently we've been together 6 years and are quite committed, but also have widely diverging preferences for how to live. So we live in cities an hour apart, have both a large house (his) and a small apartment (mine), and visit when we feel like it. We also don't mix finances, though we do discuss them and trade information. We both LBOM, but our spending and investment preferences are pretty different. So it makes sense for us two stubbornly independent folks to stay that way.

If kids were involved it would be a different matter, since I think they'd benefit from everyday parental presence. But neither of us is terribly interested in kids or marriage. I look at legal marriage mostly as a way for the government to restrict some of the ways we can handle our finances/legal arrangements. While there would be benefits too, for our situation it works out better to stay single. (Though I am not ruling out getting married for health insurance reasons, years down the road...)

In a previous relationship, we lived together because we didn't have such different styles, and to save money. It worked out fine because we were careful to keep our own private spaces within the apartment.

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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 12:56 PM   #6
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Re: Living arrangements

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI
I guess I'm really fortunate in that I love living with my husband.
I'm even more fortunate that my spouse loves living with me...
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 12:58 PM   #7
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Re: Living arrangements

Having done both .Lived in same house and Lived a few miles apart ,I'd have to say it's easier to live a few miles apart but it's more like dating than a real commitment .There is something to be said about seeing people at their absolute worst ( like two weeks ago when I had the flu from hell and hadn't combed my hair or changed pajamas for two days ) and still be willing to empty their puke bucket that shows real love .
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 02:02 PM   #8
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Re: Living arrangements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
Having done both .Lived in same house and Lived a few miles apart ,I'd have to say it's easier to live a few miles apart but it's more like dating than a real commitment .There is something to be said about seeing people at their absolute worst ( like two weeks ago when I had the flu from hell and hadn't combed my hair or changed pajamas for two days ) and still be willing to empty their puke bucket that shows real love .
It doesn't work like that for me. Relationships are pretty much about knowing my partner at their best and worst, without putting on any sort of facade or avoiding the bad times. Living apart hasn't kept us from sharing the whiny, pukey, unshowered parts of love :P , and our commitment is such that we know we'd go through all kinds of hell for the other if necessary. Having also done both, I'm not any less committed in my live-out relationship than I was with the live-in one - nor is it much like dating.

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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 02:16 PM   #9
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Re: Living arrangements

I like having my husband around the house but I wouldn't mind if we both had our own rooms. I like the room warm he doesn't, I like a window open he doesn't (allergies) and the biggest reason of all is his snoring. Other than that I'm fine with him being around and I hope he feels the same about me.

Now if for some reason we split I'd have to change my vote to "next town"
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 05:24 PM   #10
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Re: Living arrangements

Same wife, same kid, same bunch of worthless cats. (actually a slow turnover in cats - one 18 year old cat, eighteen 1 year old cats)
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 05:35 PM   #11
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Re: Living arrangements

I am lucky to be married to my best friend. Can't imagine living without him.
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 06:18 PM   #12
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Re: Living arrangements

John and I are happily living together in a tiny 400 sq ft space (motorhome). Heck, we were happy living together in the teeny 8 ft by 17 ft space of a Casita.

But I imagine that if you could only handle your spouse's company in small doses, the above arrangement would be hell.

Audrey

P.S. How many times have I thanked God that my husband doesn't snore!!! I don't know if I do, but he has never complained.
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 06:24 PM   #13
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Re: Living arrangements

I am good at pitching in when she is sick, needs something done, whatever.

What I am getting tired of is emotional battering. I think I am a pretty good deal, but listening to her you would think I was Hannibal Lecter. Also, she is younger than me, why is she so tired all the time? We aren't eighteen, but damn we aren't 80 either!

Ha
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-25-2007, 06:43 PM   #14
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Re: Living arrangements

Count another one lucky enough to be married to her best friend. :-) I can't fall asleep without DH in the same room--it gets to where I have to take Tylenol PM when one of us is away on business. He snores during allergy season, but it's nothing a pair of stout foam earplugs doesn't cure.
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-26-2007, 06:31 AM   #15
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Re: Living arrangements

Quote:
Originally Posted by OKLibrarian
Count another one lucky enough to be married to her best friend. :-) I can't fall asleep without DH in the same room--it gets to where I have to take Tylenol PM when one of us is away on business. He snores during allergy season, but it's nothing a pair of stout foam earplugs doesn't cure.
I agree. I was away on business this week and I just don't sleep well without her there. She's still my best friend and I couldn't live without her. No way would I want to live alone again.



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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-26-2007, 06:49 AM   #16
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Re: Living arrangements

I'd have to agree with that too, although dh snores horrible I can't sleep well when he's away.
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Re: Living arrangements
Old 04-26-2007, 05:58 PM   #17
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Re: Living arrangements

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
I am good at pitching in when she is sick, needs something done, whatever.

What I am getting tired of is emotional battering. I think I am a pretty good deal, but listening to her you would think I was Hannibal Lecter. Also, she is younger than me, why is she so tired all the time? We aren't eighteen, but damn we aren't 80 either!

Ha


Sorry you are going through a rough relationship patch ,Hope things get better! You are definetely not a Hannibel Lector type but maybe Jason ??
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