What are you spending on?

Charitable Donations
Kids (example - helping w/student loans)
Cost of Paradise (includes keeping one foot in the midwest)

These comprise perhaps 90% of our discretionary expenditures. One of our back-ups is to live on half of what we now spend. That would entail returning to the midwest and letting the kids and favorite charities fend for themselves. Hope it never has to come to that. As most people do, we spend the most on what gives us pleasure. To each his own and YMMV, etc.
 
The only way we will be able to RE next year is because we got frugal and started doing the whole LBYM thing. But once you're in that mindset, it's hard to change it. Five years from now we'll have a *lot* more discretionary money in our budget than we have had for the last five years, yet we'll not spend it all. I can almost guarantee that.

Part of the reason is that we've shifted our thinking about enjoyment from things vs experiences. Thus I no longer desire a sports car and we no longer own a house w/ 3-car garage full of motorcycles. No more pool table or wine room. No more sound system with speakers in every single room. We traded all that in for early retirement. We wouldn't be a year out from ER if we hadn't.

And five years from now we *could* buy a really nice upgrade of a house in Mexico and live 'like kings/queens' if we wanted to. Instead, we'll rent a furnished place w/ a nice view and travel a few months of the year. I'll probably grab a decent used car for convenience. (my dream car is an ugly VW bug w/ renovated interior/drivetrain) We'll enjoy nights out with friends and wine and live music and dancing. We'll hike and bird and I'll write and the wife will work with the dog shelter. We'll dress like beach bums mostly, w/ a few clothing options for nicer venues. We will do everything we *want* to do, but with a much lower spend than most people here -- mainly because we just don't want to do most of those pricier things any more. Those things have an unacceptable price-to-value ratio for us now.

I'm not making any moral judgments here. I'm mostly surprised at how *our* thoughts have changed about this, not that our view is right or wrong. None of this is moral, just a difference in what we perceive as desirable. And yes, some of this would change if we won a big lottery and had a lot more in the bank, but probably not as much as you would think.

OK, I've written entirely too much on this topic! lol
 
We also "downsized" our lifestyle several years ago. We used to own 3 properties, eat out at really expensive restaurants ($200+), and drink expensive wines nearly every night. We cut down to one property (1600 sq ft oceanfront condo), and while we still eat out at decent restaurants often, we don't go super high end unless it's a special occasion. We still enjoy wine but only 2-3 times per week now. As a result of these changes, we will ER in 2 weeks! We also each lost 20-30 lbs and are in the best health ever, having traded fancy dinners with lots of wine for long walks with the dog or the occasional moonlit outing on the water on our kayak and SUP.

Many on this forum seem to value experiences over things. Seems to be a good mindset to enable ER.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
 
Did I mention I love my house? LOLOL

W2R said:
buying, moving into, and doing extensive landscaping and other fixing up of my wonderful dream house! :D To me, this is discretionary because I could have stayed where I was and I would have been absolutely fine. But I wanted to move, just as much as somebody else might want a Ferrari or a summer in Rome.
Click to expand...
I was thinking about this thread this morning as I sit here enjoying my wonderful home. Surrounded by artwork and video gaming, sitting in my supremely comfy maroon leather easy chair, gazing at my lovely maintenance free back yard through my French doors. And the quiet - - If I tried, I think I could hear my heart beat, it's so quiet here. I just love it. I pour myself another cup of my favorite coffee and admire the lovely hardwood floors. I am in a heaven of my own design and creation.

I thought briefly of my insanely extensive past travels, and TBH none of those memories are at all vivid or very memorable. Sure, I remember the British museum, the peaceful shrine and other sights at Nikko, watching my teenaged brother getting extremely drunk on Kava in Fiji (or Samoa?) way back when, the wildlife in Australia, the squalor in parts of Cairo, and how disgusting Brazilian chewing gum was back in the mid 1950's :sick:. These are great memories, but as time passes they fall more and more into the "so what" category. I have the photos to remind me, but still memories are fleeting and fade with time. They don't do much for me at all compared with the tangible, day after day "meat life" experience right in front of my eyes every morning when I awaken to enjoy yet another wonderful, idyllic day living in and thoroughly enjoying my perfect-for-me Dream Home.

I know that for many here, "experiences not things" is the mantra, and I get that, I truly do. But for others of us, a mantra that works better is the old expression "what do you have to show for it?".

I'm not arguing for one viewpoint versus the other, but just pointing out that different, equally valid viewpoints exist. Some of the big benefits from travel are supposed to be the broadening one's mind, and the opening of one's eyes to different ways of looking at things. I'm sure that those of our traveling members who have truly benefited from their travels in these ways, have already realized that quite different and yet equally valid viewpoints on travel itself do exist among those who have traveled extensively.
 
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W2R said:
I am in a heaven of my own design and creation.
Click to expand...

I have similar thoughts when sitting on a terrace overlooking a large lake in Mexico, sipping coffee, enjoying the view. The main difference being I am either in someone else's house, or my own rental. lol But I definitely get the vibe.

W2R said:
I thought briefly of my insanely extensive past travels, and TBH none of those memories are at all vivid or very memorable. <snip> These are great memories, but as time passes they fall more and more into the "so what" category. I have the photos to remind me, but still memories are fleeting and fade with time. They don't do much for me at all compared with the tangible, day after day "meat life" experience right in front of my eyes every morning when I awaken to enjoy yet another wonderful, idyllic day living in and thoroughly enjoying my perfect-for-me Dream Home.
Click to expand...

Two thoughts about that. First, I think that those of us who dream of retirement travel probably didn't grow up in a family that traveled for work, and have never been required to travel for our own jobs. Second, our travel experiences will come closer to the end of our lives, so perhaps that will make a difference in the value and freshness of our memories?

W2R said:
I know that for many here, "experiences not things" is the mantra, and I get that, I truly do. But for others of us, a mantra that works better is the old expression "what do you have to show for it?".

I'm not arguing for one viewpoint versus the other, but just pointing out that different, equally valid viewpoints exist. Some of the big benefits from travel are supposed to be the broadening one's mind, and the opening of one's eyes to different ways of looking at things. I'm sure that those of our traveling members who have truly benefited from their travels in these ways, have already realized that quite different and yet equally valid viewpoints on travel itself do exist among those who have traveled extensively.
Click to expand...

And travel wouldn't be nearly as fun if *everyone* was doing it :)
 
Scuba said:
Many on this forum seem to value experiences over things. Seems to be a good mindset to enable ER.
Click to expand...

W2R said:
I know that for many here, "experiences not things" is the mantra, and I get that, I truly do. But for others of us, a mantra that works better is the old expression "what do you have to show for it?".
Click to expand...
Why not a little (or a lot) of both as your budget, interest, health and energy allows.
 
Scuba said:
Many on this forum seem to value experiences over things. Seems to be a good mindset to enable ER.
Click to expand...

This might be true if experiences were always less expensive than "things". Maybe true but in my experience you can really spend a lot on "experiences" too. Also, a lot of "things" can generate pretty nice "experiences". Not sure the distinction is that clear or useful.
 
Thanks for the great thread it has me re-evaluating our current spending. Since I retired this year, DW in 2007, we are still saving $$ and growing our IRA's. This is thanks to pensions, rentals and commercial assets. However, we spend a great deal of $$, much more than 100K/year on discretionary.

My wife loves to jump horses and she will do so until she can't, despite a few more than normal trips to the ER this year. We go all over with our horses for weeks at a time from our home in Washington to places like Thermal, Menlo Park, Sonoma, Spruce Meadows in Calgary, Reno, Vegas etc. We breed and buy horses, and sell some that don't work out. Horses in training are big expense, but besides the two at home we have 4 others in boarding and training.

But we also travel First Class everywhere and buy suites on cruise ships 2 or more times a year.:D

Someday we may need to pull cash from our IRA's, but mostly likely it will be RMD's and gifting to our adult children. So this thread has got me thinking, as I am 62 now, I see a shift to increased medical costs in 10 to 15 years. As one OP noted illness can crush any plans for an active retirement and travel. So I support my DW's expensive hobby, and we go out for Sushi as often as we want. We just got back from Spain, and booked another trip to Singapore for next year.:dance:
 
I never traveled much at all until my 40's after my kids were grown and then only occasionally so travel is a priority right now at 62. Whatever I live in has to be nice and to my tastes no matter how big, expensive or not, etc. I just like it to feel like my home. WE downsized 4 years ago to 1400 sq ft old home and totally redid it and I love it. Last year we did our backyard to be mostly maintenance free. I would not want to be gone for long periods of time but love going 2x's/year for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. I think when people travel for work they get sick of it.
 
Nice evening yesterday.

A hundred eighty bucks for dinner followed by seventy for a concert.

Two more coming up next month.

Yup, I spent it on wine, women and song - :)
 
Travel has been our big spend for the past few years. Though if we decide to buy or move to larger or more permanent accomodation DW has an extensive list of new furnishings on her list. I am happy to travel.....
 
Danmar said:
This might be true if experiences were always less expensive than "things". Maybe true but in my experience you can really spend a lot on "experiences" too. ....
Click to expand...

We've definitely found that many of the best experiences have cost a good amount. In retirement, that will continue. Just reserved two slots on a great liveaboard to get up close and personal with the Humpbacks in Tonga in July 2018. That will end up draining some funds by the time we tack on the other weeks (months?) of the trip.

Good thing is that we can always cut the discretionary expenses as needed--and we hope to take advantage of the extra available time sans work to enjoy more inexpensive experiences.
 
Many of us have to trade off one pleasure for another. Some can afford it all.

I find that some travel is pleasurable but for us a little goes far. It does not have to be international either. We've greatly enjoyed day hiking in the Sierras. Still can eat well and don't have to necessarily camp out. We've also enjoyed some European trips but in good weather months and not too speedy and not too challenging. Generally we stay at moderate hotels and that mean it's nice to get back home. Could probably afford more luxurious digs and that might be an option for future travel.

As W2R mentioned, we too enjoy our home. It's right behind a wonderful state park with miles of trails and beautiful oak foothills. It's a big house and requires upkeep but what else would I do? Museums and art galleries only are fun when they are occasional, kind of like dessert.
 
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George Best ( a famous Irish soccer star now deceased) was quoted."I spent most of my money on liquor, fast cars and women. The rest I squandered".

I find the best experiences are those I share with friends and family. When I'm gone my daughter will have a huge "portfolio of memories" of her dad. I can assure you these have not come cheap.
 
We like good food along the lines of King Salmon, good french cheese, blueberries all year long and reasonable bottle of wine in 20 dollar range.

If you do it on daily bases it ads up to big money even though it is no caviar or French Champagne.
 
We are living large, spending money on Bounty brand paper towels (they don't leave lint on windows) and Charmin TP.
 
W2R said:
I'm not arguing for one viewpoint versus the other, but just pointing out that different, equally valid viewpoints exist. Some of the big benefits from travel are supposed to be the broadening one's mind, and the opening of one's eyes to different ways of looking at things. I'm sure that those of our traveling members who have truly benefited from their travels in these ways, have already realized that quite different and yet equally valid viewpoints on travel itself do exist among those who have traveled extensively.
Click to expand...

I think travel makes extroverts happier than introverts. We're all wired differently:

"Extroverts who were forced to spend at a bar were happier than introverts forced to spend at a bar, while introverts forced to spend at a bookshop were happier than extroverts forced to spend at a bookshop."

Spending That Fits Personality Can Boost Well-being
 
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:LOL: I think I'd get violently aggressive if anyone forced to spend my money either at a bar OR at a bookshop! It's my money and I get pretty possessive about it. :D

Woman-Punching-Man.jpg
 
We do both. We have beautiful homes in Vancouver and PV that look out on the ocean and are a short walk to the sand. They also look out on mountains which are much more interesting at night with all their lights on. We love to entertain in both places as well as just hang out.

But we also love luxury travel and spend 7-8 weeks both locally and in Europe et al enjoying the fruits of our life's labor. So I guess I agree with both viewpoints. My worry is that there will come a time when we can no longer travel as conveniently.
 
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