I'm getting caught up on reading & blogging, and today feels like the first day all week that I've really made the time to work on it.
I decided that the stock market is approaching stupid high, so yesterday I sold my Dad's shares of Fidelity OTC Portfolio. (FOCPX) It's done relatively well over the last few years, but more importantly I don't think a 78-year-old needs to maintain any exposure to the NASDAQ. (The fund's top three holdings are Apple, Google, & Microsoft.) Time to take some profits off the table, and these low low cap gains tax rates won't be around much longer. He still holds a few more conservative blue-chip, value, & dividend equity funds, but he's almost at the point where most of his assets are in cash.
Later I'm going to get caught up on our own personal finances, and maybe I'll even print out our semi-annual budget report for Jan-June 2012. Of course if I wait a few months more I could just skip straight to the annual report...
I'm going to be visiting my Dad next month, so I'm sorting through our family photos on our hard drive to put together an album. I don't want to use a digital frame because of concerns about pilferage or difficulty of use. I don't want to use a traditional three-ring photo album, either, because it might be hard to store (and because of pilferage). So it's actually the photobook service offered through Costco:
http://www.mypublisher.com/offers/costco0605
Yesterday was a two-hour meeting with the eldercare attorney (at $310/hour) but I get the sense it's going to be well worth it. DW's sister and brother are going to share that expense. It was very intense and covered a lot of material we hadn't known or thought about which makes me think his expertise is worth the fee. It will require much digging for documentation for FIL's income/expenses and some for relatives with disabilities.
I hate to say it, but it's worth every penny. It's not as if you have the leisure & energy to shop around. I was being billed at $275-$300/hour, plus extra for "after-hours" and "crisis" response.
The "good" news is that you have the forensic skills & experience to make the search go faster & more thoroughly. I've always wondered what I'd learn if I could do a check of my Dad's local police records over the last few years. Then I tell myself that I really don't want to know.
You probably already know about cardiovascular, blood pressure, and medication side effects. I have three specific concrete suggestions that I've learned from my own experience and from Bob DeMarco's Alzheimer's Reading Room. I'm not suggesting that you're dealing with Alzheimer's, and you may already have seen these:
1. Remove any access to alcohol. Alcohol-exacerbated dementia seems to be much more of a problem than previously understood.
2. There may be a vitamin B12 deficiency.
3. Dementia symptoms can also be worsened by an underactive thyroid.
Those latter two are easily detected by a blood sample, but only if the lab has been told to look for it.
The causes of falls (loss of balance?) seem to be really hard to figure out. Sometimes it's blacking out, other times it's vertigo, still other times the elder doesn't really know (or doesn't want to volunteer the info). A classmate of mine has been dealing with this issue for both of her parents, and it appears to be at least two different causes.
That was followed by going out for lunch, then a visit to a Homewood retirement center in Williamsport, MD as a pre-inspection before taking FIL to see it.
The loss of privacy & independence seem to be the biggest issues. I couldn't figure out any way around that.
You might make a case that "privacy" is in his care facility room with the door shut, while "safety & socializing" are just a call button away.
But in my Dad's case, he was "ordered" by the doctor to spend six weeks of physical therapy at the care facility before the doctor would "let" him go home. By the end of the six weeks Dad was happy to have the staff taking care of chores while he took care of socializing. He admitted that the last two years of independent living had been a steady progression of slowly being overwhelmed by keeping up with the minutiae of daily life.
Reading the elder care literature gives you the impression that the fiercest struggle is over the home (even more than the car keys), yet the biggest relief is getting rid of it. I saw a lot of "Selling my house and moving in here was the best thing I ever did!"
