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Old 11-27-2007, 09:44 AM   #61
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This is a really interesting thread to read......................They attack you because you are destroying their fantasy that they have been living with for years. Attacking you is far easier than to actually accept the mess they have made of their own lives.
Good summary, Armor.
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Old 11-27-2007, 11:11 AM   #62
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Then there is another whole group of people, that look at anyone that has achieved more than they have, with absolute contempt and disdain. As in "How DARE you have more than me, or accomplish more than me?" As if somehow, you having more than they do, means that you TOOK something away from them in the process, which is certainly not true.

Remember the truth about people like that. They do not want to be rich... they want you to be poor. They do not wish to achieve for themselves, they want others to give to them. They do not want to succeed... they want you to fail. They do not believe in things like hard work and making progress towards a goal, they belive that life is random, and that people got the careers they did because of the "job lottery". What it really comes down to, is a form of dillusional escapeism.
Tall poppy syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 11-27-2007, 06:25 PM   #63
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I think we are perhaps patting ourselves a little too hard on the backs here. Plenty of working people would not want to trade their cash flow and spending ability with any but the richest of us.

J.C. Flowers, or Bill Gates might be tall poppies, but not a bunch of penny pinchers with one to four million dollars. My son once said to me, "Why do you want to give up so much control over your destiny?"

Who knows, obviously some of us do. But a good job or business beats the hell out of obsessing about withdrawal rates.

Ha
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Old 11-27-2007, 08:40 PM   #64
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I just told my brothers and their wives that I retired on 11-09. They were shocked but didn't really say anything. I haven't told my parents. I've heard the oh you are too young or you will be bored etc. from them. I can understand your feelings about this. I can understand you retiring in your early 40's! Good for you! Follow Nords!
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Old 11-27-2007, 08:49 PM   #65
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"Why do you want to give up so much control over your destiny?"
Funny. Thats the very reason why I quit working. So I'd have more control over my destiny.
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Old 11-27-2007, 08:51 PM   #66
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This reminds me of what a surprising number of people used to say to me (IIRC, exclusively men) when I told them I was a lawyer. They would that they were going to be lawyers too, but blah blah blah, they chose a much better path. My SIL who is a medical doctor told me that the same thing would happen to her. Almost like people were trying to minimize what we did for a living.
Martha,
I just had to add that I also heard these comments a lot! Must be universal!
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Old 11-27-2007, 09:03 PM   #67
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Dang. I misread that as "tall poopy syndrome" the first time, and so declined to click on the link.
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Old 11-27-2007, 09:12 PM   #68
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Given that I am reading the book Mistakes were Made (But not by Me), I am thinking that a number of these comments about retiring or what you do for a living are partly due to the need to reinforce people's own life decisions. All about cognitive dissonance: "I am a smart and capable person, I could not possibly have made bad decisions."

Otherwise, we would have a hard time sleeping at night.
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Old 11-27-2007, 09:14 PM   #69
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I think we are perhaps patting ourselves a little too hard on the backs here. Plenty of working people would not want to trade their cash flow and spending ability with any but the richest of us.

J.C. Flowers, or Bill Gates might be tall poppies, but not a bunch of penny pinchers with one to four million dollars. My son once said to me, "Why do you want to give up so much control over your destiny?"

Who knows, obviously some of us do. But a good job or business beats the hell out of obsessing about withdrawal rates.

Ha
Probably quite true, but obsessing about withdrawal rates and exchanging cracks about poor working stiffs, beats most BAD jobs.
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Old 11-27-2007, 09:46 PM   #70
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nice post, armor99. Bang on!
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Old 11-28-2007, 12:37 AM   #71
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I think we are perhaps patting ourselves a little too hard on the backs here.
Ha
On this board? Noooo way! Come on Ha, you know that all the folks on this board are confident, self-assured folks who would never need to talk up their own life decisions and put down others to feel good about themselves! We're perfect and anyone leading their lives differently from us is just a dummy.
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Old 11-28-2007, 01:04 AM   #72
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My wife is an engineer and works on the company's national support line. There are still people who get her and assume she is a secretary and ask to speak to an engineer. And when we go into place like Home Depot or Fry's Electronics, the salesdrones will try to talk to me even though she is asking the questions. After all, women aren't supposed to know these things.
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Old 11-28-2007, 01:09 AM   #73
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Martha,
I just had to add that I also heard these comments a lot! Must be universal!
Curious.....this has never happened to me.
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Old 11-28-2007, 07:06 AM   #74
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Given that I am reading the book Mistakes were Made (But not by Me), I am thinking that a number of these comments about retiring or what you do for a living are partly due to the need to reinforce people's own life decisions. All about cognitive dissonance: "I am a smart and capable person, I could not possibly have made bad decisions."
Thank you for the reference. I have ordered the book (from the library, natch!); it sounds interesting.
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Old 11-28-2007, 07:07 PM   #75
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I think we are perhaps patting ourselves a little too hard on the backs here. Plenty of working people would not want to trade their cash flow and spending ability with any but the richest of us.
No doubt, but I'd think those folks would react with pity or incomprehension to the ER, not hostility and a rant. The hostility/rant tends to indicate envy to me.

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J.C. Flowers, or Bill Gates might be tall poppies, but not a bunch of penny pinchers with one to four million dollars.
I don't know about that. Median wealth for the world is $2,200 per adult. Top 10% is $61,000. link

Anyone want to redistribute their wealth back to the world median? Or the top 10%? Not me.

However, consider the US.

Household wealth of >$1m qualifies for top 10% link Tall poppies, perhaps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
My son once said to me, "Why do you want to give up so much control over your destiny?"

Who knows, obviously some of us do. But a good job or business beats the hell out of obsessing about withdrawal rates.
For some folks. Not for others. I intend to find out which category I fall into someday.
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crab mentality
Old 12-08-2007, 06:46 AM   #76
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crab mentality

Sounds like she wants to drag you back down into the pot. They called the the "Crab Mentality".
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Old 12-15-2007, 01:29 AM   #77
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That does it.

I'm buying stock in the company that makes bonbons.
You know ... I've just realized that I don't know what a bonbon actually is.
I've heard the phrase all my life (56). What is it? ... and where can I get some?
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Old 12-15-2007, 01:38 AM   #78
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You know ... I've just realized that I don't know what a bonbon actually is.
I've heard the phrase all my life (56). What is it? ... and where can I get some?
Bonbon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 12-15-2007, 02:52 AM   #79
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Then she turned to me and said “so what are you going to do when you retire from the AF in two years?” Her husband looked at me and kind of grinned because he knows the deal as we have discussed it many times. I said well I am going to retire, spend time with the family and then maybe do something or not I haven’t decided on that one yet. She looked at me like I was from Mars. And said “YOU CAN”T DO THAT you have two small kids and will be in your early 40s, you have to work another 20 yrs.
In this situation I tell people I plan to "work" on my MBA. No one really knows what it entails or what one does with an MBA, but it places you in a sociologic role that doesn't threaten them. And if you can ER you really have already earned an MBA in my book.
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Old 12-15-2007, 04:16 AM   #80
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You know ... I've just realized that I don't know what a bonbon actually is.
I've heard the phrase all my life (56). What is it? ... and where can I get some?

I think bon bons are best eaten during movies on a hot day, when you don't want popcorn. Of course you shouldn't be eating either popcorn, or bonbons, and netflix is cheaper than going to a movies, but you only live once.

Actually I intend to be reincarnated as my sister or Purron's cat.
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