Little by little sliding into mild depression.

Vicente, a lot of kind and helpful suggestions here. Taking just one of them and giving it a try would likely help.

What is less likely to help is continuing on the exact same path as before.

Is your village close enough to your house that you can walk or bike down there easily? How about buses or trains? Where I live there are many coffee houses, bars and other places where people gather. Usually one coffee house will be most popular for the older men. It is pretty easy to just sit down and join in. Now I would not try to suggest that these will be entertaining, enlightening or stimulating conversations. More just typically cranky old men. But these guys are breathing, and you might find that to be enough.

I lived out on an island in a very pretty spot. Once my kids were up and out, and my wife took off it became a tomb for me. I quickly realized that I am not one of the guys who could happily tinker away alone, going to town occasionally for nails or groceries. Didn't take me long to realize that my salvation lay in Seattle. I commuted back and forth for awhile, going to dances, parties, etc. but then I got whacked on the road and I decided my life as a pleasure commuter was over and moved.

Ultimately you too may need a more urban situation.

Ha
 
A part time job might get you out of your funk. Maybe working in a library, news stand/book store, or any kind of fun shop. Join a fitness center for a place to go a few hours a week. There are lot's of things you can do that will add up and take care of most of your day. But if all these things are out of your reach because of you not driving, I'm not sure how to overcome that. Going to have to bum a ride if you can't cycle there.

I do wish you the best of luck.
 
When I am feeling blue I try to remember or create something to look forward to, or to have hope about. If you are becoming clinically depressed, however, that sort of remedy likely will not be enough and a doctor can be very helpful in identifying symptoms and treating you.

I imagine it is harder in a small town or isolated area to identify others who share your interests--you already know everyone, probably.

I think you have had cats in the past? Do you still have pets? They make us smile without even trying to.

But like I said, a doctor can help (and will be happy to do so) if your spirits don't lift on their own.
 
This is all great advice folks, I'm feeling much better already :flowers:

oops, wait a minute, this is Vicente's thread is it not :blush:

Vicente,

You say that you like posting on this site, and we enjoy reading your posts. You once told me the area you lived in and I had look on Google Maps to see the region. It looks really beautiful.

May be you would consider starting some threads giving a little description of some of the lovely towns and villages where you live on the Travel Information forum (we don't need to know which one you actually live in). It would be good practice for your english writing skills and be very useful information for us travelers looking for places to visit or even just imagine being there. You may even have to visit some of them to check out good places to eat etc.

Hopefully there are means to get about on public transportation for such a project. We just got back from 10 weeks in England where we traveled to quite a number of places, using bus and rail and staying in student dorms, Bed and Breakfast spots etc.

just a thought .....
 
Sounds to me like isolation is a lot of the issue. Is it possible to move into town where you can more easily be around people to join a hobby group or book club or bridge games or go to coffee shops or whatever? It may be a major change to you and your wife's plans and lifestyle, but then again it sounds like you really need a change. It might help to explain to your wife why you want to move, but you can also probably come up with excuses for it that may be good enough.

Alternatively, there are more online activities like book clubs, game sites, forums (like this) etc, that could take the place of doing those things locally in person.

I somewhat understand your position not to share your feelings with your wife or a therapist, but I bet it would go better to get it out in the open. Creating this thread was a good start and it's a good sign that you recognize what you're going through. I hope you'll consider taking it further. I really don't think your wife will feel burdened, but of course I really don't know you or her.

Good luck!
 
Here's one for the ladies. >:D. Vicente, you say your wife is a darling. How about taking one workday/week and making her your hobby/obsession. Figure out something to have ready when she arrives home that would make her very happy. Could be something different every week.
 
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CuppaJoe said:
Here's one for the ladies. >:D. Vicente, you say your wife is a darling. How about taking one workday/week and making her your hobby/obsession. Figure out something to have ready when she arrives home that would make her very happy. Could be something different every week.
Click to expand...
ooooooooo...I like that! :D

I could make a long list of things I'd like! :greetings10:....(to help out Vicente of course)..
 
CuppaJoe said:
Here's one for the ladies. >:D. Vicente, you say your wife is a darling. How about taking one workday/week and making her your hobby/obsession. Figure out something to have ready when she arrives home that would make her very happy. Could be something different every week.
Click to expand...
Now Joe, let's not get too extreme. It may be that less taxing measures would suffice.. :)

Ha
 
Vicente, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling blue. I have long thought that if I were in your area, I would like to walk the Camino de Santiago. I understand that one can meet a variety of interesting people from all over the world. But perhaps you have already done this.
 
As an aside, IMHO new depression that is not entirely situational deserves a very basic medical evaluation to be sure your thyroid, B12, and a few other simple conditions are not contributing.
Click to expand...

I'd add to that magnesium and vitamin D.

Vincente, if volunteer work with kids didn't work out, maybe something helping animals would work better for you. I know when I quit work the first time and was home with the kids I checked out a lot of different clubs and groups and then just cut back to the few I really liked. Maybe some other type of volunteer work than the one you described in your post would suit you better.
 
How about an Au pair, who comes in only during the day on weekdays? And with your poor eyesight, interviewing candidates should be quick :whistle:

Just trying to be helpful :greetings10:
 
CuppaJoe said:
Maybe someone here knows of a good online bookclub as I know you love reading, Vicente. The couple of forums I've seen are not very active. You might also enjoy taking an online film class, I loved doing that while stuck at work all day.
Click to expand...

No more book forums for me, thank you, Cuppa:). As forums go, this one is very comprehensive, down to earth, entertaining..... At the risk of overdoing it, I´ll say again that it meet my online demands:).
 
Ha ha: Almost no public transportation. 8 miles of hilly road to town. Weather similar to Seattle´s, less rainy:LOL:.
What i really need is a complete transformation of my personality:LOL:. But, yes, isolation is a negative factor. As for moving to my flat in town....Been there, done that... and had the same bouts of apathy and lassitude.
 
Dawg52 said:
Going to have to bum a ride if you can't cycle there.

I do wish you the best of luck.
Click to expand...

I´ve been waiting for the only bus in the morning countless times and no one has given me a lift:D!
 
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Bestwifeever said:
But like I said, a doctor can help (and will be happy to do so) if your spirits don't lift on their own.
Click to expand...

A doctor is bound to say that he is too busy to mind my nonsense and to grrin and bear it:). And I would agree with him. I´d rather talk to all of you.:D.

PS. Got a cat and a dog. And yes they make me happy.
 
Alan said:
This is all great advice folks, I'm feeling much better already :flowers:

oops, wait a minute, this is Vicente's thread is it not :blush:

Vicente,
....
Click to expand...

Glad the thread has been useful at least to you:LOL:. You can even take it over:D. And risk boring the s**t out of all the members:LOL::LOL:!
I like your idea of taking photos of my surrounding. Knowing how to post them successfully is another matter:LOL:!
 
This thread reminds me a bit of an old computer program designed to analyze the syntax of a user's input, then provide appropriate but generic psychological advice.

Example (blue type would be from the computerized psychologist):
I'm feeling kind of blue.
...Blue? Tell me more.
Just kind of a lack of energy.
...Energy sounds important to you.
It is. I'm generally a bubbly guy.
...Tell me what you mean by "bubbly."
Full of pep, playful.
...OK, that makes sense.
What do you recommend?
...I am not sure that is for me to answer...
Well, I suppose I could join some groups.
..That sounds reasonable to me. What are the obstacles here?
 
Vincent ,
I 've had mild depression and you can either go with the woe is me or you can get help for it . Sorry to be tough love but it is what it is . People have given you lot's of suggestions but I think you are not ready to get out of it .
 
There are anti-depression medicines, and Americans may use these more than people elsewhere.
 
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