flyfishnevada
Full time employment: Posting here.
Well, it finally happened. We have reached that stage of our lives when we start caring for our parents. I thought my dad would need some care after hurting his leg hunting, but he fought through it and is healthier than he has been in years.
My father in law, however, has dementia and he was checked into the hospital a couple of weeks back because he didn't know who he was. He figured that out after a few hours and we suspect he had not taken his medication. But the doctor took his driver's license and we had to drive up to Oregon 11 hours and help him out. At first it seemed he would be able to live on his own with a little in home care, especially after we discovered he was taking his twice a day medication once a day.
Anyway, we were there a week and on the next to last day his neurologist saw him and declared him legally incompetent. Wow! I don't blame him as I was DW and I were worried about him alone. Suddenly we needed to move him into assisted living. We thought he would freak out, but he took it in stride and told us he knew it was coming due to head injuries sustained as a firefighter. In some ways he is still very much there, but in others not so much. Luckily there is a facility a quarter mile down the road from his house and he knows the owners. It was an easy move.
Now we have to clean up his house and property. He was a serious pack-rat. Most of it is junk, but there is enough good stuff that we need to go through it all. He was lucid enough to grant my DW the power of attorney he had been promising to do for years, otherwise he would have become a ward of the state. If his lawyer hadn't been a friend and knew him so well, it might not have happened, though he answered all the questions well. We are going to liquidate his house, cars, etc. and invest it for him (and us eventually I guess since my DW is his only heir). It's not going to be much, but if he needs it it will be there. Luckily he has a great pension, a little social security and purchased long term care insurance that will pay for nearly all of the assisted living.
We have a daunting task ahead of us cleaning up his place and selling stuff made worse by the 11 hour drive. We are lucky that he lives on the Oregon coast, so at least we have some nice scenery to look at. We also have a family friend that offered to let us stay with her. Just needed to express all of this to someone besides my DW. She is taking it OK, but is questioning the decision, even though it was basically made by a doctor. My FIL has really gone down hill in the last few months his friends have said and at times is really confused. It is a sad thing to see.
We head back up tomorrow for a few days to begin wading through his things and to kind of strategize. Not looking forward to it, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Last year our washing machine flooded the house and we barely got it back together before Christmas. This year we are dealing with this. Thankfully the kids are old enough to understand and I am retired and have the freedom to do this. If I was working...
Anyway, feels good to vent.
My father in law, however, has dementia and he was checked into the hospital a couple of weeks back because he didn't know who he was. He figured that out after a few hours and we suspect he had not taken his medication. But the doctor took his driver's license and we had to drive up to Oregon 11 hours and help him out. At first it seemed he would be able to live on his own with a little in home care, especially after we discovered he was taking his twice a day medication once a day.
Anyway, we were there a week and on the next to last day his neurologist saw him and declared him legally incompetent. Wow! I don't blame him as I was DW and I were worried about him alone. Suddenly we needed to move him into assisted living. We thought he would freak out, but he took it in stride and told us he knew it was coming due to head injuries sustained as a firefighter. In some ways he is still very much there, but in others not so much. Luckily there is a facility a quarter mile down the road from his house and he knows the owners. It was an easy move.
Now we have to clean up his house and property. He was a serious pack-rat. Most of it is junk, but there is enough good stuff that we need to go through it all. He was lucid enough to grant my DW the power of attorney he had been promising to do for years, otherwise he would have become a ward of the state. If his lawyer hadn't been a friend and knew him so well, it might not have happened, though he answered all the questions well. We are going to liquidate his house, cars, etc. and invest it for him (and us eventually I guess since my DW is his only heir). It's not going to be much, but if he needs it it will be there. Luckily he has a great pension, a little social security and purchased long term care insurance that will pay for nearly all of the assisted living.
We have a daunting task ahead of us cleaning up his place and selling stuff made worse by the 11 hour drive. We are lucky that he lives on the Oregon coast, so at least we have some nice scenery to look at. We also have a family friend that offered to let us stay with her. Just needed to express all of this to someone besides my DW. She is taking it OK, but is questioning the decision, even though it was basically made by a doctor. My FIL has really gone down hill in the last few months his friends have said and at times is really confused. It is a sad thing to see.
We head back up tomorrow for a few days to begin wading through his things and to kind of strategize. Not looking forward to it, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Last year our washing machine flooded the house and we barely got it back together before Christmas. This year we are dealing with this. Thankfully the kids are old enough to understand and I am retired and have the freedom to do this. If I was working...
Anyway, feels good to vent.