My Story, Part 1........

[FinanceDude]

(Removed by moderators, as requested by FinanceDude.)

 

[Silver]

Wow....that's really hard stuff to grow up with. I regret that happened to you, and to all kids who live with parents who shouldn't be parents.

I look forward to reading the next chapters.

 

[Moemg]

Wow....that's really hard stuff to grow up with. I regret that happened to you, and to all kids who live with parents who shouldn't be parents.

I look forward to reading the next chapters.

Me too !

 

[pb4uski]

There is a line between discipline and abuse. It sounds like your grandparents recognized where that line was an stayed on the discipline side of it and your parents, particularly your stepmother, crossed it on a regular basis. Somewhat surprising that she was a school teacher unless she was an angel at school and a devil at home.

Sounds like a very difficult childhood but that in some ways it made you stronger as well. Looking forward to the subsequent chapters.

 

[haha]

Ok, I am taking a deep breath and deciding to embark on this.

A real sharing, with no gloss applied. Thank you.

You are real survivor. Anyone would suffer under this, and many would be broken by it, but you triumphed over it and made a good life for yourself and your own family.

Congratulations on a job very well done.

Ha

 

[powerplay]

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm looking forward to part 2.

You had a difficult life growing up yet you were able to focus your anger towards positive things.

 

[devans0]

Thanks for sharing the tough stuff. You aren't alone. For me, the catharsis is the step to put things in perspective and use experiences for strength. It doesn't happen just once, but is a continual process.

Part two...three?

 

[FinanceDude]

Thanks for sharing the tough stuff. You aren't alone. For me, the catharsis is the step to put things in perspective and use experiences for strength. It doesn't happen just once, but is a continual process.

Part two...three?

Fortunately or not, might be 5 parts. I feel better after sharing part one. I guess in some ways, this forum is kind of an extended family for me......Lord knows I talk to folks on here more than most of my family............

 

[donheff]

Five parts? I'm hooked.

 

[Telly]

FinanceDude, congratulations on your survival. Not all of us do. I found out many years ago when I was out on my own and gone, that I could not talk about it to others. It was way beyond their life experiences, and they were unable to grasp it. I heard "oh, it couldn't have been that bad" and " you have to be making up stories!" and "so what did you wrong?" And they had heard only a tiny tiny sliver from me. When your only crime was existing, what can one say?

Like a moth to a flame, I'll read your next installment.
I think we've learned that our past doesn't have to direct our future. But there is no doubt that it has a big effect. Dr. Phil said it changes kids for life. I certainly agree with that.

Now I'm getting off the computer and going to work on something to keep my mind busy for a while. Then it passes. The good old days are now.

 

[Dreamer]

My heart goes out to you. There are definitely cruel people in the world and it is horrible when they have children and treat them so badly. Sometimes, this leads children down the wrong path and they deal with their past through various addictions. Sometimes, it make the child much stronger and determined. I am looking forward to reading more of your story.

 

[Texas Proud]

FinanceDude,

There are many people who put up with abuse when young... it was my father who hit us when we were young.. and if my mother intervened he hit her... so having it be your stepmom is not the issue IMO... almost everything you say might have been the same if your mother was the same as your stepmom...

My sisters rebelled like you, and paid for it with more abuse... one moved out when she was 16, in with her boyfriend (on the good side, they are still together 40 years later)....

I am also a person who does not make friends... still to this day.... and even though I have changed and can talk it up with a lot of people, I just do not like big groups of people...

So, I will ask.... what do you want to come from this Do you hope to get closure? Do you hope to get a better relationship with either your father or stepmom?

I also look forward to the next chapter... please add what has happened to your sister and half brother.... are you close etc....

 

[Texas Proud]

FinanceDude, congratulations on your survival. Not all of us do. I found out many years ago when I was out on my own and gone, that I could not talk about it to others. It was way beyond their life experiences, and they were unable to grasp it. I heard "oh, it couldn't have been that bad" and " you have to be making up stories!" and "so what did you wrong?" And they had heard only a tiny tiny sliver from me. When your only crime was existing, what can one say?

Like a moth to a flame, I'll read your next installment.
I think we've learned that our past doesn't have to direct our future. But there is no doubt that it has a big effect. Dr. Phil said it changes kids for life. I certainly agree with that.

Now I'm getting off the computer and going to work on something to keep my mind busy for a while. Then it passes. The good old days are now.

OH YES... I know of three sisters who's dad had sex with them for many years.... and also physically abused his son... I only got the physically abuse....

But, to tell the truth, the MENTAL abuse was even worse IMO... as FinanceDude points out, you never knew when the explosion was about to happen... and being put down all the time does not make you feel good later in life....

 

[My Dream]

Thanks so much for sharing your story.

 

[KB]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sure it was very hard to write; just as it was difficult to read. I'm looking forward to reading more. I'm so sorry that you had to live through it.

 

[Nuiloa]

Your rebellious streak seems to have grown from a young age - and your life could have gone so very wrong. I'm so glad you chose the path to survival.

And I admire you for being able to write about it. Your courage will help others open up, or at least face their demons.

Thanks.

Nui

 

[HFWR]

Thankfully, my parents were pretty good at parenting, but I turned out like this anyway...

Like they say, anyone can be a father/mother, but not everyone can be a dad/mom. It is sad when the people who should care the most do not, but it is NOT a reflection on the poor kid getting the abuse. Sometimes "family" is just a description.

 

[Sue J]

Fortunately or not, might be 5 parts. I feel better after sharing part one. I guess in some ways, this forum is kind of an extended family for me......Lord knows I talk to folks on here more than most of my family............

Oh, yeah. I'm finding that sitting down and composing a post really helps me to put my thoughts together and express myself. Of course, being an introvert I reread it and revise it and then submit it and instantly need to revise it again. But you know what I mean.

 

[Mulligan]

As a child, I think dealing with and living with parents who have blatant bias for one child over the others would be crushing to deal with. Losing my favorite grandpa was the worst experience of my teen years. Sometimes I wonder if we wind up where we are at in life because of our experiences, or in spite of our experiences.

 

[Meadbh]

It took a lot of courage to write so candidly about your childhood, FD. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope it's therapeutic. I am looking forward to Chapter 2.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

FinanceDude, that's an amazing story. Thanks for sharing it and I look forward to the next chapter(s). I have to say that my parents were the most loving, kind and caring people on earth. I guess that's why I still miss them and think about them all the time. Mom died in 1995 and Dad in 1999. I guess you can say that they did a good job if you continue to think of them and thank them after they have been gone so long.

I am so sorry for you and all children who suffer at the hands of their parents in what ever manner. DW had a tough childhood and she blames it on the fact that her father was kicked out when he was 13 and had to make it on his own. He never new how to be a good father so he just imitated had own abusive father. Sad situations.

You and TromboneAl should get together sometime.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

I had it easy. I am sad for you.

 

[Dawg52]

Wow. There's no telling how many people who have grown up in environments similar to yours and headed down the wrong path as a result. I applaud you for not letting your situation get the best of you.

I too look forward to reading the rest of your story.

 

[sheehs1]

Financedude, Looking forward to hearing "the rest of the story". I am sorry that circumstances led to you growing up in a less than cared for and loving environment....

I'm a step mom and can not imagine treating either of my sons the way you were treated. When my husband and I married 18 years ago, blending his 2 sons and my daughter, we made a deliberate decision to not have any more children. Neither of us wanted the other 3 to feel they were "less special" than one we might have together. It is not a decision for everyone but it was for us.

 

[Lagniappe]

Financedude,

Thanks for sharing your story. More people than we care to know about are living every day having suffered abuse as children. You never know what goes on behind the curtains of the perfect-looking houses on your street. Talking (writing) about it helps some people to keep it from defining them - the secrecy is just as bad as the abuse for many, and sharing their story helps. It may also help someone who reads it. So thank you for your courage.