Just joined Facebook, OMG The good, the bad, and the ugly

[CaliforniaMan]

Joined FB last week despite promising myself it is something I would never do. After all last week I heard that 1 billion people had logged on in a single day. How could 1 billion people be wrong. Anyway, I wanted to connect to some long lost relatives around the U.S. and elsewhere and found how successful my wife was connecting with her relatives and lost friends, and making new ones we would later meet in real life, so decided to give it a try.

And lo and behold in just the first day I connected with many relatives, some I had not talked to in over twenty years, and some who were just small kids when I last met them. It has been great, and really looking forward to getting to know them again and some for the first time. Also added a lot of high school friends and enjoy seeing what they all are doing now and getting to know them again before the next reunion.

But what surprised me was what I would see on my home page. Post after post after post of likes and reposts of extreme politics, posters, photos, etc., both from the left and from the right, and religion. All very negative and usually really demonizing anyone who disagree with them, many of these ugly reposts from people I know and enjoy talking to in real life. So what gives? I mean I don’t mind people talking about their politics or religion, but hey for some people there is just no moderation.

My wife told me just to lighten up and skip over what I don’t want to see. What to do? I didn’t want to “unfriend” them. But then I discovered I could “Unfollow” them and keep them as “Friends” and also could “Hide” posts. Wow, gotta love all the new jargon! Now I am at peace with the world again, at least for today.

Really makes me want to give the moderators of this forum a really big LIKE! for what they do to keep everything civil AND interesting! Very few forums like this one. I have joined a few others but have left them because of all the name calling. Glad now I don’t have to leave FB.

So my question for those long time FB users, what are your experiences, good, bad, and ugly. I want to know what to look forward to and what to look out for. And why are some people so different online from how they are in real life? Or am I just too too sensitive?

 

[nun]

You can adjust your FB settings to limit the amount of stuff you see. I'd make it so that only you and your Friends can see your FB page. Don't Like or Friend anything that you don't know in the real world. I've had the same 23 FB Friends ever since I joined

 

[Dawg52]

I joined a few months ago at the urging of family. Like you, got caught up with family and some old friends I haven't seen or heard from in years. But some do get into a lot of political stuff I'd just as soon not see. Some friends share links to some of the sillest crap. I decided to unfollow some(not defriend) so I wouldn't have to flip through all the garbage. When I'm in the mood, then I might check their time line to see what's going on with them.

 

[Walt34]

DW has a FB account and that's enough for me.

 

[EastWest Gal]

I have reconnected with very dear high school friends because of Facebook. It turns out our politics are the same ( no one has changed their mind in 20 years.) I have hidden BIL posts since they're all a rant. My current circle of Facebook friends like to repost cute dog and cat videos, but I don't usually watch.

What I hate are all the ad posts that show up in my news feed.

I like the messenger service on Facebook. It's like a mini email with no spam.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[CaliforniaMan]

I have reconnected with very dear high school friends because of Facebook. It turns out our politics are the same ( no one has changed their mind in 20 years.) I have hidden BIL posts since they're all a rant. My current circle of Facebook friends like to repost cute dog and cat videos, but I don't usually watch.

What I hate are all the ad posts that show up in my news feed.

I like the messenger service on Facebook. It's like a mini email with no spam.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

I like the messenger service too and have used it to send family tree plots to some of my relatives. Funny thing just a few minutes ago got and exchanged some FB messages with my wife, and she is in the other room!

 

[marko]

what is your name, where do you live, what is your age, what church to you go to, what religion do you follow, what political organizations do you belong, when are you going on vacation and where, who will you vote for, who are your friends, where do they live, what organizations do they belong to.....

Not so long ago, governments would kill (and did) for "such informations", now we are happily giving it away.
Orwell anyone?

 

[travelover]

I've turned off any notifications from most of my "friends" on Facebook. I don't want to hear their crazy or needy sides.

 

[CaliforniaMan]

what is your name, where do you live, what is your age, what church to you go to, what religion do you follow, what political organizations do you belong, when are you going on vacation and where, who will you vote for, who are your friends, where do they live, what organizations do they belong to.....

Not so long ago, governments would kill (and did) for "such informations", now we are happily giving it away.
Orwell anyone?

FB of course knows all about you from your likes and friends and reposts even if you don't say explicitly they know from data mining. It is one of the reasons I stayed off so long.

 

[stepford]

DW has a FB account and that's enough for me.

Same here. I've been on the Internet since ARPAnet days, well before there was a WWW, and I have no interest in joining Facebook.

Being a curmudgeon helps.

 

[marko]

FB of course knows all about you from your likes and friends and reposts even if you don't say explicitly they know from data mining. It is one of the reasons I stayed off so long.

Exactly. The main reason I don't think I'll ever join.

Yes, yes, "there is no such thing as privacy", I know. But why make it easy by consolidating your entire life in one place?

I know people who post 20-30 times a day: "met with Jim", "walking to the donut shop now", "got to bed at 11PM", "leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks" (come and rob me!)
Really?

Again, wasn't that long that having such knowledge was gold to some governments....way too creepy for me.

 

[utrecht]

Most of us only have 20-30 years left on this earth. I dont know about you but Im not going to waste those years worrying about whether or not the government , FB or anyone else knows where I'm going on vacation or what organizations I belong to. Who cares?

 

[audreyh1]

I'm constantly hiding posts that I don't want to see - and that's mostly political and religious posts. Most of the feed isn't too obnoxious now.

But we don't use facebook to connect to family.

 

[tulak]

I'm constantly hiding posts that I don't want to see - and that's mostly political and religious posts. Most of the feed isn't too obnoxious now.

But we don't use facebook to connect to family.

I've tried to do this, but not sure how well it works. What I would like is the ability to see only some posts from people. For example, posts that they post on FB instead of posts that they like/share.

Do you know if hiding posts is smart enough to to distinguish between the two?

 

[Moemg]

I use facebook to keep in touch with my nieces . What I dislike is all the political & religious rants .Plus all the people who post links to amazing things that are just usually plain stupid .

 

[RunningBum]

Google has much of the same information, maybe even more since you may think you are searching in the privacy of your own home rather than sharing publicly or at least among friends.

I unfollow a few friends who rant about one thing or another too much, and hide posts, and so on. Others, I've just learned to gloss over. I've unfriended a few people who were posting stupid stuff to my own page/posts, and even blocked a few so I wouldn't have to see them on other friends' posts.

A frustrating part for me is that FB only kinda sorta bubbles new posts to the top. I'm used to writing software that you make ever conceivable effort to be bug free, while they seem to update their software whenever anyone gets a wild hare, and sometimes it works well, sometimes not. What you have to remember is that you are not FB's customer: their advertisers are. You are a resource for their advertiser customers, and while they'd like to make your experience good enough for you to stay around as a resource, it doesn't seem to be their top priority.

Check your privacy settings. You may want only your friends to see your posts rather than anyone on facebook, especially if you post things like that you are at the airport about to leave your home vacant for a week. True that nothing is really private, but don't make it easy for anyone at all to see. Kind of like your home isn't really burglar proof with locked doors and windows, but at least it'll keep out many.

I enjoy catching up with friends and family, seeing pictures, and so on. It's a way of being social even while living alone on a mountain.

Sometimes this is the best way for me to get news. The local monthly good news magazine also keeps up with real news, traffic issues, and stuff. Once I heard a helicopter at night within a mile of my house; got on FB to learn from them that there had been a shooting on the parkway and they were still looking for the killer. Good to know! I've also seen lost dogs returned, and plenty of other good news shared.

One of the most useful things for me was after the Boston marathon bombing. A lot of people knew I was there, and as soon as I heard there were explosions at the finish line I posted that I didn't know what was going on, but that I was safe and in a hotel basement bar. It headed off a lot of worry for family and friends. The group I was with also used it to track everyone else down until all were accounted for, either via FB or direct texts/calls.

To me, it's a lot like TV. If it's not entertaining, informing, and/or educating you, stop looking at it. Turn it on when you are up to it. I keep mine up in a tab when I'm online, but you sure don't have to.

 

[RunningBum]

I know people who post 20-30 times a day: "met with Jim", "walking to the donut shop now", "got to bed at 11PM", "leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks" (come and rob me!)
Really?

Ha, I had a friend like that. You know how it says in the box where you would type in your status, "What's on your mind?"? He actually posted once "There's nothing on my mind." Good-bye.

 

[RunningBum]

I've tried to do this, but not sure how well it works. What I would like is the ability to see only some posts from people. For example, posts that they post on FB instead of posts that they like/share.

Do you know if hiding posts is smart enough to to distinguish between the two?

When you hide a post, it says something like "See fewer posts like this" or maybe "See less from this person", but only sometimes, and it doesn't say how they decide, probably because they change it all the time. I'd also like more hard and fast settings like what you suggest, but they don't seem to want to do this for us.

 

[audreyh1]

I've tried to do this, but not sure how well it works. What I would like is the ability to see only some posts from people. For example, posts that they post on FB instead of posts that they like/share.

Do you know if hiding posts is smart enough to to distinguish between the two?

You can choose to not follow some people then their posts won't get in your feed. I don't think FB distinguishes between shared posts and original posts - unfortunately!

We don't let anyone put posts on our home page. Friend can comment on our posts. I noticed how some people's pages are cluttered with all manner of posts from other people, most of them shares!

 

[rodi]

I'll admit - I joined facebook solely to stalk my kids. Once my older son joined, I joined, friended him, and keep an eye on his posts. Younger son has an account, but doesn't post - just has it to get some kind of video game credit by "liking" certain things. IRL friends want me to friend them - I refuse. I have a whoppin' 6 friends total. I have yet to make a single post and have only liked one thing.

Even with things cranked down as "secure" as possible with facebook, friends of friends can see you have an account. I wish that wasn't the case... The very few friends I accepted have mutual friends who want to friend me.

One of the friends I connected with asked why I wasn't posting pics from my summer long trip on facebook. Um... no thanks, I'd prefer to keep my post count at zero on facebook.

 

[audreyh1]

I'm constantly having to make sure "news feed" is set to most recent instead of top stories. Seems like FB sneaks in there and resets it to top stories after a few days.

 

[RunningBum]

I'm constantly having to make sure "news feed" is set to most recent instead of top stories. Seems like FB sneaks in there and resets it to top stories after a few days.

How do you do that? I'm not seeing that option, and wonder which why mine is.

 

[MRG]

I joined at someone's suggestions, well meaning but.. I did connect with some great former co-w*rkers and some family, that's been fine. Except the political bs, I did unfollow the political and religious zealots. Not sure why seemingly normal people get wrapped up in garbage but I refuse. Yes my initial reaction was were are the moderators.

 

[HFWR]

Facebook is like a trip into your worst middle-school nightmare...

 

[Fishingmn]

If you are using FireFox I recommend an add on called Facebook Purity. It allows you to filter out all the ads and crap you don't want to see as well as set the default to "see everything" instead of top posts.