Mark Twain quotes

[steelyman]

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt".

 

[Svensk Anga]

[FONT=&quot]"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." [/FONT]

 

[samclem]

Oh, so many great ones to choose from! IMO, the greatest observer of humanity we've heard from to date.

"The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

"Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it."


Clemens's observations on God and religion in his later years are a treasure, but probably inappropriate here.

 

[coldnose]

One of my favorites:

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."

 

[steelyman]

"I believe the Heavenly Father invented man because He was dissatisfied with the monkey".

 

[steelyman]

Amazon has Kindle editions of several of his books for free.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

Mark Twain had some great quotes.Unfortunately some of the best ones would not be appropriate for this forum.Just subjects that are highly sensitive and may offend some.Such is life.For the curious I suggest to google-Mark Twain quotes.

 

[Amethyst]

"Always do what is right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest."

His travelogues are a wonderful lens into mid-and-late 19th-century America and (to some extent) Europe. Along those lines, the Sandwich Islands (Hawaii) reports and "Roughing It" are my favorites.

Like anyone who makes his sole living by the written word, he at times descended into cheap sentiment. And the amazing "Huckleberry Finn" is ruined, for me, by the "Jim kept prisoner for a joke by Tom Sawyer" episodes. On the whole, however, Mark Twain having lived and published has made my life better.

Amethyst

 

[BTravlin]

“Today the same thing over. I've got it up the tree again.”
― Mark Twain, The Diaries of Adam and Eve and Other Stories

Best laugh I had had in a long time when I first read his story of Adam and Eve.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

 

[steelyman]

"I have gained 9 pounds in 28 days and expect to weigh 600 pounds by January"

 

[gauss]

My Favorite:

'I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.'

Very relevant in today's world.

-gauss

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness...."
But not instantly, in my case.

 

[Amethyst]

Pretty much all of it is available at gutenberg.org.

Amazon has Kindle editions of several of his books for free.

 

[steelyman]

Pretty much all of it is available at gutenberg.org.

I imagine that is true. But I like to snuggle up with an e-reader!

 

[Amethyst]

I believe you can download to your e-reader from the site!

I imagine that is true. But I like to snuggle up with an e-reader!

 

[Redbugdave]

"I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth doing, but mostly because I'll never have to do it again."....Mark Twain

 

[springnr]

I imagine that is true. But I like to snuggle up with an e-reader!

Complete Mark Twain Collection $2.99

300+ includes newspaper articles, noticed "Letters from Earth" not included

 

[steelyman]

Complete Mark Twain Collection $2.99

300+ includes newspaper articles, noticed "Letters from Earth" not included

Wow! That seems well worth it!

 

[Sarah in SC]

These are great--some I've never seen before!
I always liked "Be good, and you will be lonesome", the dedication for Following the Equator.

 

[jimbee]

I imagine that is true. But I like to snuggle up with an e-reader!

I use gutenberg.org with my ereader.

 

[Rosie]

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."


I'm not positive that these are actual Twain quotes, but good advice imho.

 

[Nodak]

I downloaded for free what is supposed to be "The Complete Works of Mark Twain" for Kindle from Amazon about 3 years ago; I assume it is still available. It includes "Letters From The Earth".

 

[NW-Bound]

As I am agnostic in most matters outside of mathematics and science, my favorite quote of Mark Twain has to be this.

"Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense." -- Mark Twain

 

[panacea]

"October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February."