Amethyst
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2008
- Messages
- 12,708
What were the odds of mentioning nannies and goats in the same thread?
Well your problem could be worse--like say, a guy walking a goat in Montana
Did you mean to say "it's just natural for people to be nosy busy-bodies?"
It seems that the only legal prejudice is against older men.
What a delightful world! In this thread, a prejudice even expressed by some older men.
Ha
It seems that the only legal prejudice is against older men.
What a delightful world! In this thread, a prejudice even expressed by some older men.
Ha
I have been reading this thread with great interest.
I would never ask if two people are married or they are parent/child (unless I can come up with something more indirect to say that makes them want to disclose the nature of their relationship on their own.) I would be very curious to find out and I may ask my friends after they leave though. It's like when you think some casual friend looks pregnant.
I've noticed people (cashiers at a grocery store and alike) often referred me and my then boyfriend as husband and wife. (I imagine an old guy and an old woman grocery shopping or hanging together are usually married couples.) I guess it is human nature to categorize people into their "normal".
To answer the OP's question, I would just say "No" and turn away. I hope that would teach the person not to pry next time she/he is tempted to ask someone else a similar question.
It seems that the only legal prejudice is against older men.
Ha
What were the odds of mentioning nannies and goats in the same thread?
The terms are commonly used in the "car world" and can be found together on performance car forum threads on occasions... Examples, "I removed the nannies from my goat". Or the one I like is, "The old goats never had any "nannies"... Have fun with those...
In car terms:
nanny or nannies = limiters, governors, restrictions, etc.... example; a "speed or RPM limiter" is often called a nanny or nannies
goat or goats = GTO's (as in Pontiac GTO) I see that one all the time.
It seems that the only legal prejudice is against older men.
What a delightful world! In this thread, a prejudice even expressed by some older men.
Ha
If things look a bit strange then I don't mind the comments so much. Example: I am 6'6" and DW is 5'3". .
Oh, Bigdawg, that reminds me of being a teenaged girl. I'm only medium-tall, so this didn't affect me as much; but the very tall girls (5-10 or so) always lamented that the tallest fellows went for the petite girls!
In my defense, she had bought a new wardrobe and was rocking a tightly-cinched belt, as was the current style. She didn't look ill. But it taught me a big lesson. Be careful, even with compliments!
One time, I congratulated a formerly very obese co-worker on her amazing weight loss. She replied that it was none of her doing, as she had terminal cancer. The poor woman did, indeed, die a few months later.
In my defense, she had bought a new wardrobe and was rocking a tightly-cinched belt, as was the current style. She didn't look ill. But it taught me a big lesson. Be careful, even with compliments!
One time, I congratulated a formerly very obese co-worker on her amazing weight loss. She replied that it was none of her doing, as she had terminal cancer. The poor woman did, indeed, die a few months later.
In my defense, she had bought a new wardrobe and was rocking a tightly-cinched belt, as was the current style. She didn't look ill. But it taught me a big lesson. Be careful, even with compliments!
There is a very big difference between my wife's age and mine, I bet quite a bit larger than you and your husband. Not only is she much younger, but also from a different part of the world. Before she came I prepared her for possible prejudice and remarks that she might encounter. Didn't need to prepare myself since I am to old to give a rat's afterside as to what people think. Surprisingly, there have been very few negative comments, at least to our face. One negative Facebook comment, we gave no reply, just immediate unfriending and ban. A very close immediate family member expressing normal concern, gets a one time short answer. Casual friends sometimes ask how we met, sometimes get a short one sentence reply, other's just get "I was lucky." I agree with the idea "don't answer after the first comment."
As far as something like that Botox comment you got, I would just say nothing in reply other than, "Excuse me" and walk away. That type of question is inappropriate in any context.
Now for the hard part, and please don't take this the wrong way. But it is not their problem, it is yours. I have found over the years that difficult people (like me) don't get much guff from others, they pretty much get the idea that we do what we want and don't care about what they think, and are not goaded by their remarks. While kind people, I think probably like you, get the brunt of peoples remarks, because they know it affects you.
My advice (it's free, so take it for what it is worth), don't try to be kind to people that make offensive remarks. You don't owe them anything, not even a reply. If they get the idea, good you can still be friends (or acquaintances), if not, you have lost nothing by loosing them.
at a wedding i saw an old friend, i asked her when is the baby due? She said she had it a few months ago, i tried to play it off that is what i ment when did you have the baby. I was a little too polluted to really feel bad at the time, i'm horrified about it now.
you should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby
emerging from her at that moment.
-- dave berry, "25 things i have learned in 50 years"
This has happened many times to me over the years even though DW is only 9 months younger than me. I usually reply, "No, we're husband and wife. I've just weathered badly". It's none of their business so I make no comment on the age difference (or lack of), it just happens that DW has always looked much younger than she is and I have always looked much older.
"Thanks. Chemo did that for me."One time, I congratulated a formerly very obese co-worker on her amazing weight loss. She replied that it was none of her doing, as she had terminal cancer. The poor woman did, indeed, die a few months later...