....I called my sister who lives in the same city as the cousin to see if she could cover the week and I would reimburse her. Well she told me that this cousin has been living off family members for quite some time, but she had been unable to get employment after losing her job months ago. She had been living in a woman friend's basement, but the woman's boyfriend told her that either cousin must get out, or he would. Hostess decided that she needed boyfriend more than my cousin, so cousin's stuff wound up out in the yard. So this is where I came in.
Sister and I talked a while, and sister said that all the solvent family members had been trying to get now homeless cousin to apply for disability, housing assistance, etc but that she had been dragging her feet.
Sister bawled her out for trying to involve me, 2500 miles away, and I figured that would be that. Next day I got an im- "I'll be at the new hotel in an hour, and I'll call you then". I had decided not to mess up the tough love that my other cousins had been trying to establish, and also to save myself some money and grief, so I texted her that I could not help.
Meanwhile, I am pretty upset. This woman had always worked, but spent too much on travel, expensive apartment and so on. I felt mixed....
In recapping with my sister, I learned that my Dad and his brother had been helping her now dead mother for years, after aunt got divorced and had poor representation...
This newly homeless cousin has always been generous, not only with herself but with her derelict brother's children and others. She is in no way a bad person, just really lacking in sense and unable to say no.
Family members and friends can make suggestions and have done so, but we really have no control over self-destructive financial behavior.
Still, it makes me feel awful.
Ha