Retired Folks hanging out at the Shopping Mall and the Library seem sad!

[Choices]

I was an actor in community theatre for lotsa years and I love to people watch at shopping malls! I would probably spend more time lurking at the grocery store but my ice cream would melt!
I like the idea of the meet- up groups and will try that when we move next year.
OP, why don't you volunteer somewhere? It could help keep your skills sharp and develop new ones and you might meet some fun people.

 

[Chuckanut]

Obviously, all the the people who have replied are in denial of their misery.

 

[purplesky]

Since I was forced to retire due to an employment termination and lack of job opportunities for folks like me, I have been out and about visiting places I never spent any time in when I was working 12 hours a day.

Two of those places is the library and the large regional shopping center near my home.

At the mall there is always the same tired old group of senior citizens sitting in the middle area waiting for the day to end. (Killing time). They look so miserable and for some reason are not open to socializing with me or each other.

At the library, there is also a sad looking group of folks hanging out next to the newspapers and magazines. Libraries can be great if they are a once in a while activity, not someplace to go every day just to kill time.

As I sit in the mall, and look at these sad people I wonder what they may have been in their working life before society and the corporate employers sent them packing. Maybe a bank Vice President, A Lawyer, a Public Relations Executive, a HR Manager. Who knows. But this week they are just killing time.

These people are just hiding from their adult children who still live at home.

 

[Nemo2]

Another song that this thread reminded me of, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, in the 1970s

"You get up every morning
From your alarm clock's warning
Take the 8:15 into the city
There's a whistle up above
And people pushin', people shovin'
And the girls who try to look pretty
And if your train's on time
You can get to work by nine
And start your slaving job to get your pay
If you ever get annoyed
Look at me I'm self-employed
I love to work at nothing all day"

 

[kcowan]

Find out what they were thinking about you.

What other people think of me is none of my business!

 

[kcowan]

If you ever get annoyed
Look at me I'm self-employed
I love to work at nothing all day"

In my career, I held 17 different positions under 29 bosses. Of those 29 bosses, there were only 2 that were a-holes. But #30 was the toughest. That would be me!

 

[Amethyst]

No, they just don't see anything about you (a stranger) that interests them. People don't welcome approaches from strangers in malls and similar places.
As a rule, strangers who come up to you and start talking are after something.

Possibly, if you were young and attractive, they'd talk to you because that would constitute a form of entertainment.

I have tried and they looked at me like I had two heads.

I suspect many of them are bored and have lost their social skills !

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

OK, now I feel like we're being trolled LOL

You're not kidding. Some of the best conversations I have had over the years were with co-w*rkers and sometimes, they were even fun. Do I miss it though? Uh...yeah, no. Actually...hell no.

I love Office Space. A cult classic to be sure. Here's a clip about having a lot of bosses.

 

[Major Tom]

+1
Personally, spending time at the library everyday sounds AWESOME to me. But I definitely suffer from RBF

RBF = Resting Book Face?

+1

I think Ha nailed it.

Me too. Instead of looking for ways that things could go wrong, or accepting at face value information that doesn't help you (your management office telling you there is no way you can break your lease, for example, which is a load of old hooey), it is always better to take your situation in life, whatever that may be, and look for ways to make the best of what you have.

Time to begin doing that

 

[jim584672]

The OP can join a Pickelball league.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Note to self: Get dressed up for this afternoon's walk to the library, smile the whole time, and talk to all the men. Prepare DH to come and get me when the library police put me in the Dewey Decimal Timeout Room for annoying all the men.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Do some volunteer work for a cause you enjoy. You will meet like minded people and make some friends.

 

[enginerd]

I suggest that you stop going to the mall and library. There, you don't have to worry about those sad looking people anymore. Out of sight, out of mind.

Furthermore, if you aren't at the mall or library, you won't have to worry about turning into one of those sad persons at the mall or library.

 

[Sunset]

No, they just don't see anything about you (a stranger) that interests them. People don't welcome approaches from strangers in malls and similar places.
As a rule, strangers who come up to you and start talking are after something.

Possibly, if you were young and attractive, they'd talk to you because that would constitute a form of entertainment.

That is what I was thinking, and that possibly they thought he was looking for a handout, since I'm pretty sure he didn't dress up at all.

 

[Amethyst]

Plus, you need DH to step in if some of the men get interested instead of annoyed!

Note to self: Get dressed up for this afternoon's walk to the library, smile the whole time, and talk to all the men. Prepare DH to come and get me when the library police put me in the Dewey Decimal Timeout Room for annoying all the men.

 

[tmm99]

Several years ago I saw a article ( with pics) about " old sad grumpy mean"....old facial expressions. It showed a bunch of pics and medical diagrams and such to help make a point that the sad or grumpy or mean looks that so many old people ahem is actually nothing more than a natural physiological change in our appearance. To boil down a bunch of med-o-babble its simply that our facial muscles start to fail just like ALL human muscles age. The natural relaxed facial expression for most of us is a rather downturned mouth. .

Yeah, my mom told me about this long time ago, that she makes a conscious effort to put a smile on her face, or else she looks grumpy.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Plus, you need DH to step in if some of the men get interested instead of annoyed!

He would be so amazed if I chatted with them in the first place he would probably enjoy my discomfort should one be interested!

 

[kcowan]

The OP can join a Pickelball league.

Wow Brian Williams! And pickleball in Florida. What ever happened to lawn bowling?

 

[cyber888]

Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL


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[Amethyst]

Sorry, but the two species do not mingle well. Back when I was one of those "young chicks" you describe, the approach of a 61-year-old man with an eccentric, outspoken personality caused us to do a rapid fade. And wouldn't you know, those men really do approach, with their clip-on sunglasses, bellies, hairy shoulders, and SE grins [the last was my late Dad's phrase].

Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL


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[HadEnuff]

Maybe this story is not pertinent, but it caused me to think of this thread. I retired in March and have been spending a lot more time at my local municipal golf course. When I worked, I would go there at lunch time and chip and putt on the practice green and would occasionally see another guy "about my age", dressed for business, doing the same thing. Yesterday afternoon I was practicing my chipping and putting and I see this same guy in golf clothes getting ready to go out the first tee alone, so I asked him if he wanted any company. He said "sure". So we played (walking) 9 holes. He had just retired also, and I guessed his age at 60, 2 years younger than I. Eventually we got to the subject of age, and it turned out he was 72, TEN years older than I.
We had a very nice 2 hours, talked about many things other than golf. I now have a new golfing friend. Which is why golf courses are much better places than malls. I guess that's my point.
Carry on.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Do some volunteer work for a cause you enjoy. You will meet like minded people and make some friends.

I agree with this. I've started volunteering with the Red Cross and am very impressed with the retirees I've met in just the short time I've been there. Very active--a few from our chapter have been on multiple deployments already this year, and have energy to spare!
I'm focused on disaster relief, but there really is something for everyone in organizations like the Red Cross. And it is humbling to help those who are far less fortunate than many of us.

 

[HFWR]

Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

Sorry, but the two species do not mingle well. Back when I was one of those "young chicks" you describe, the approach of a 61-year-old man with an eccentric, outspoken personality caused us to do a rapid fade. And wouldn't you know, those men really do approach, with their clip-on sunglasses, bellies, hairy shoulders, and SE grins [the last was my late Dad's phrase].

Yeah, the next conversation usually involves the police...

 

[Nemo2]

Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL

I tried that...and discovered the answer to the question "To whom are you not talking?"......it was ME!

 

[Tadpole]

I used to go to NYC to be alone. You could walk around forever in a crowd being entertained and totally alone without any demand other than not bumping into other walkers enjoying being alone in a crowd. I have never known more enjoyable solitude than in NYC. Perhaps a mall is a small taste of the big Apple to some people.