A difficult discussion to have, without getting in to misunderstandings and getting off-track to the concept. This will require some open minded thinking.
Basically, how to look for a symbiotic relationship of a person who needs some type of ongoing care.. with a person who would benefit from supplementing their limited income in turn for giving companionship and help.
Some problems along the way:
1. Legal
Probably the most difficult. Certainly, any system of giving personal care without the strict legal requirements of law, eliminates any possibility of making this work.
2. Opening minds to the positive possibilities that this could offer to society and the mental well being of families.
3. Establishing a means of bringing together those of like minds.
The positive:
This has worked and can work.
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A recap of a real life situation that worked with an aging lady of 83yrs, who lived across the street from me for 5 years. She needed help with dressing, bathing, medication, going out for social interaction, and buying and making meals. She was reasonably well off, and had children in their late 50's and60's who lived in the area, but who were very involved in public service... selectman and school board chairlady.
The companion was a 60 year old lady who had lost her husband, had no nearby relatives, and had very few assets, and had lived in a poor walk-up flat in Chicago. No car... in effect a sad life.
By moving in, she had access to a car, a perfect modern home in a nice neighborhood, a small allowance, free room and board, and a chance to fit in with the local community.
When my aging neighbor passed away four years ago, Donna (the companion) had many offers to continue with the companion position. Meeting her by chance, a few weeks ago, she thanked me for my recommendation, and said she was very happy with her life.
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You and I can name a hundred reasons why this would not work. A still small voice tells me that it is possible.
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My next door neighbor lives in a house like mine. New, designed for seniors, 1600 s.f. She is 85, and can still get around... with help...
That means her son 62 and his wife 65, come from 25 miles away three times a week, to put out the trash, take her to the market for food etc., and just to make sure she is okay. If they weren't here to do this, it would likely mean a nursing home, as assisted living might be a marginal choice. A companion would bring the added benefit of social interaction, since she is very lonely.
.............................................................................................
There's the rub... As far as they or I can see, there is no way to connect my neighbor with someone who could benefit by being a companion. Myriads of online dating services. Yes... possible connection places like Craig's List, but nothing that is "safe". Community services , whether government, religious, or non-governmental social services cannot risk their status by providing vetted services, and... our local (National) home aid services come in at $22/hour for a three hour visit. (24/7 service comes in @ $193,000/yr.
..............................................................................................
Pollyanna... yes. With an aging population, someone, somewhere has to come in with at least a partial solution. Many reasons why not... We need a start on some steps to easing the pain.
Basically, how to look for a symbiotic relationship of a person who needs some type of ongoing care.. with a person who would benefit from supplementing their limited income in turn for giving companionship and help.
Some problems along the way:
1. Legal
Probably the most difficult. Certainly, any system of giving personal care without the strict legal requirements of law, eliminates any possibility of making this work.
2. Opening minds to the positive possibilities that this could offer to society and the mental well being of families.
3. Establishing a means of bringing together those of like minds.
The positive:
This has worked and can work.
..........................................................................................................
A recap of a real life situation that worked with an aging lady of 83yrs, who lived across the street from me for 5 years. She needed help with dressing, bathing, medication, going out for social interaction, and buying and making meals. She was reasonably well off, and had children in their late 50's and60's who lived in the area, but who were very involved in public service... selectman and school board chairlady.
The companion was a 60 year old lady who had lost her husband, had no nearby relatives, and had very few assets, and had lived in a poor walk-up flat in Chicago. No car... in effect a sad life.
By moving in, she had access to a car, a perfect modern home in a nice neighborhood, a small allowance, free room and board, and a chance to fit in with the local community.
When my aging neighbor passed away four years ago, Donna (the companion) had many offers to continue with the companion position. Meeting her by chance, a few weeks ago, she thanked me for my recommendation, and said she was very happy with her life.
..............................................................................................
You and I can name a hundred reasons why this would not work. A still small voice tells me that it is possible.
..............................................................................................
My next door neighbor lives in a house like mine. New, designed for seniors, 1600 s.f. She is 85, and can still get around... with help...
That means her son 62 and his wife 65, come from 25 miles away three times a week, to put out the trash, take her to the market for food etc., and just to make sure she is okay. If they weren't here to do this, it would likely mean a nursing home, as assisted living might be a marginal choice. A companion would bring the added benefit of social interaction, since she is very lonely.
.............................................................................................
There's the rub... As far as they or I can see, there is no way to connect my neighbor with someone who could benefit by being a companion. Myriads of online dating services. Yes... possible connection places like Craig's List, but nothing that is "safe". Community services , whether government, religious, or non-governmental social services cannot risk their status by providing vetted services, and... our local (National) home aid services come in at $22/hour for a three hour visit. (24/7 service comes in @ $193,000/yr.
..............................................................................................
Pollyanna... yes. With an aging population, someone, somewhere has to come in with at least a partial solution. Many reasons why not... We need a start on some steps to easing the pain.