I think I got my leg pulled

[GalaxyBoy]

Yesterday afternoon I hung out at my local, large craft brewery (Ballast Point) for a couple of beers. As I was paying my tab I felt a tap on my shoulder and was greeted by a nice young ex-coworker whom I always enjoyed seeing.

One or two other familiar faces drifted in, as well as some unfamiliar ones, and I realized they were having a professional society (ASHRAE) meeting that evening. I chatted a bit and was introduced to an unfamiliar person who asked me where I worked. I said I used to be an engineer too, but now I'm retired. He gave me the usual "but you're too young to retire" and kept pressing it. Eventually he told me that he's retired, too. I didn't think too much of it.

Today, it dawned on me that he didn't look too much older than me and had a twinkle in his eye as he kept saying I was "too young." I think he was pulling my leg and maybe I have another ER person in my town? Hmmm, I wonder...

 

[candrew]

I don't think it inconceivable that the Fermi Paradox would apply in your case.

 

[marko]

My guess: He's not a reader of this forum and was indirectly asking how YOU respond to that question, as he may have heard the comment a few times.

 

[marko]

I don't think it inconceivable that the Fermi Paradox would apply in your case.

Inconceivable? I don't think that word means what you think it does.

 

[kgtest]

My nextdoor neighbor is ER...but at the xmas party her DH got drunk and complained about how many hours she works during the summer with her kayaking business. hmmm. Everyone's definition is a little different but never too young!

 

[marko]

My nextdoor neighbor is ER...but at the xmas party her DH got drunk and complained about how many hours she works during the summer with her kayaking business. hmmm. Everyone's definition is a little different but never too young!

I noted on another thread that it seems being ER is the new fashionable thing to be.

Everyone is out working to pay for their status symbols so now FI is the new enviable position.

 

[SecondCor521]

My guess: He's not a reader of this forum and was indirectly asking how YOU respond to that question, as he may have heard the comment a few times.

I've gotten that a lot the last two years. I used to try to explain or give an answer. The last time the conversation was something like:

"So, what do you do for a living?"
"Oh, I'm retired"
"Really? You're too young to retire!"
"Yeah, I get that a lot."

It's actually a much more pleasant way for that conversation to go for me.

 

[audreyh1]

That’s a good answer.

 

[Aerides]

"Really? You're too young to retire!"
"Yeah, I get that a lot."

I'm so stealing that. Way to shut it down but so politely, anyone who presses after that is really not getting a hint.

 

[redduck]

I've gotten that a lot the last two years. I used to try to explain or give an answer. The last time the conversation was something like:

"So, what do you do for a living?"
"Oh, I'm retired"
"Really? You're too young to retire!"
"Yeah, I get that a lot."

It's actually a much more pleasant way for that conversation to go for me.

Let's take it a step further:

"So, how'd you do it?"

 

[redduck]

I'm so stealing that. Way to shut it down but so politely, anyone who presses after that is really not getting a hint.

Why would you want to shut it down? It could be an interesting topic and it could be helpful to the person asking.

 

[Aerides]

Why would you want to shut it down? It could be an interesting topic and it could be helpful to the person asking.

First you must be more social than me lol. But if I'm being asked that from someone I barely know, no, I don't really want to get into a discussion of finances as that is kind of tricky, right behind politics and religion.

But maybe that's just me. When I was employed, if I met someone at a party I didn't exactly want to talk about work for more than 30 seconds. Same thing really for me.

 

[redduck]

...
... no, I don't really want to get into a discussion of finances as that is kind of tricky, right behind politics and religion.

... I didn't exactly want to talk about work for more than 30 seconds.

I don't think it's necessary to discuss finances or work when talking about early retirement--I wouldn't want to--and certainly wouldn't in any detail. But, I might say, "Believe it or not, a whole bunch of people retire early. If you're interested I can email you some websites that might give you ideas of how to go about achieving early retirement or maybe simply a successful retirement--which is a pretty good deal itself. On one of the websites, I go by the name of "Aerides"."

 

[SecondCor521]

Let's take it a step further:

"So, how'd you do it?"

I can't convey the tone in which I say that last line. I don't mean to shut down the conversation and am happy to continue it if someone wants to, but mostly I find that the "You're too young to retire!" part is more of a knee jerk exclamation rather than a challenge that requires explanation.

I usually say it with a sort of a nice smile on my face and a tone that acknowledges that I am in a fortunate situation due to being born on third base and having enough brains to jog home on the next base hit. Explaining why without a sincere followup can be viewed by some as bragging or arrogance, and I don't want to be that way or come across that way.

@redduck, the above followup is, IME, very very rare. Of the hundreds of people who know that I have FIREd, only one or two asked how I did it, and I'm pretty sure that one of them was a closet ER type checking to see if I knew any tricks they could add to their arsenal.

For the one or two who did ask, I answer succinctly: "My parents taught me well and gave me a great start in life, and then I worked hard, saved a lot, and invested for a number of years." If they want to discuss more I'm happy to share the way I did it, but just as sharing, not as advice.

The other 99.44% have a mixture of reactions, but curiosity is not in the picture with them.

 

[audreyh1]

I can't convey the tone in which I say that last line. I don't mean to shut down the conversation and am happy to continue it if someone wants to, but mostly I find that the "You're too young to retire!" part is more of a knee jerk exclamation rather than a challenge that requires explanation.

I usually say it with a sort of a nice smile on my face and a tone that acknowledges that I am in a fortunate situation due to being born on third base and having enough brains to jog home on the next base hit. Explaining why without a sincere followup can be viewed by some as bragging or arrogance, and I don't want to be that way or come across that way.

@redduck, the above followup is, IME, very very rare. Of the hundreds of people who know that I have FIREd, only one or two asked how I did it, and I'm pretty sure that one of them was a closet ER type checking to see if I knew any tricks they could add to their arsenal.

For the one or two who did ask, I answer succinctly: "My parents taught me well and gave me a great start in life, and then I worked hard, saved a lot, and invested for a number of years." If they want to discuss more I'm happy to share the way I did it, but just as sharing, not as advice.

The other 99.44% have a mixture of reactions, but curiosity is not in the picture with them.

Yeah, I think you have it down. The “too young” thing is indeed a knee jerk reaction, and I’m not surprised that follow on questions about how you did it are quite rare.

It’s also easy to answer with “just saved a lot while working” although I would not share even that with someone I didn’t know.

 

[GravitySucks]

After 5 years of ER I don't hear the you look tooyoung as often these days.

 

[audreyh1]

After 5 years of ER I don't hear the you look tooyoung as often these days.

Yeah, we don’t get it anymore either! Not after eighteen years.

 

[Winemaker]

Yeah, we don’t get it anymore either! Not after eighteen years.

I heard the good life is hard on some people.

Bring it on! I w*rked hard, I play hard!

 

[Cayman]

I've gotten that a lot the last two years. I used to try to explain or give an answer. The last time the conversation was something like:
"So, what do you do for a living?"
"Oh, I'm retired"
"Really? You're too young to retire!"
"Yeah, I get that a lot."
It's actually a much more pleasant way for that conversation to go for me.

Last week at a gathering of about 30 neighbors, all 65+a new neighbor said:

"You are kids. You must be very wealthy or have a big pension"

It became quiet quick. Fortunately DH chuckled and said "well, we're neither" and changed the topic. A couple of friends caught my attention and smiled. That was a nice way to address an inappropriate remark.

 

[CaptTom]

Let's take it a step further:

"So, how'd you do it?"

..."I just took an oath of poverty."

Also works when someone says they wish they could RE like you did.

Last week at a gathering of about 30 neighbors, all 65+a new neighbor said:

"You are kids. You must be very wealthy or have a big pension"

It became quiet quick. Fortunately DH chuckled and said "well, we're neither" and changed the topic. A couple of friends caught my attention and smiled. That was a nice way to address an inappropriate remark.

Good one. A quick, firm answer, and it tossed the ball back into the court of the person who made the comment.

 

[JoeWras]

At a recent family event, I met some distant family I see only every few years. Turns out one of them retired last year. We are the same age. He beat me!

In our discussion, he was not apologetic at all because he explained he had a municipal pension and full medical. Everyone nodded their heads and congratulated him. They looked at me for an answer, and I changed the subject after saying I am paying for my medical, but that's OK, it will work out.

No harm, we moved on to better things to discuss.

It is still kind of strange to feel this undercurrent of curiosity, or envy, or just plain "something" if you don't have a pension.

 

[Jeff76Canada]

Let's take it a step further:

"So, how'd you do it?"

I take a lot of vitamins, bicycle, wine... maybe it's genetics [emoji23]

 

[Dtail]

At a recent family event, I met some distant family I see only every few years. Turns out one of them retired last year. We are the same age. He beat me!

In our discussion, he was not apologetic at all because he explained he had a municipal pension and full medical. Everyone nodded their heads and congratulated him. They looked at me for an answer, and I changed the subject after saying I am paying for my medical, but that's OK, it will work out.

No harm, we moved on to better things to discuss.

It is still kind of strange to feel this undercurrent of curiosity, or envy, or just plain "something" if you don't have a pension.

+1
I only have a small pension, so the general public believes a large pension is needed for early or even age 65 retirement in some cases.

I believe there is a lot of envy out there.
I told an ice cream cashier who was probably in his low 30's that I was retired. His facial expression changed and then I said I didn't mean to rub it in. He said (twice) well maybe you did a little bit.
This statement coming from a person in their 30's

Anyway, I am much more reserved about announcing about being retired, unless pressed.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

I think to me the subject of early retirement with someone who is still working is just awkward. I know I couldn't pull it off without offending someone even though that would not be my intention at all. So I just avoid the topic. I dress in jeans and a nice shirt, but no one would know I don't work anymore.

I do not think there is anything about me that screams " hey look at me, I want to talk to you about retiring." No, quite the opposite, I just want to live a nice, quiet life and enjoy my time. But that's me, others may feel the need to be more open and might be able to pull off a conversation in a caring way. That's good if they can do that, I do not believe I can.

 

[pb4uski]

Let's take it a step further:

"So, how'd you do it?"

I have yet to have someone ask. But my answer would be that I studied and worked hard in a career where I could make good money, we lived below our means, so we saved and invested regularly in low-cost index funds and we luckily didn't have any huge financial emergencies or make any big financial mistakes.