Unacknowledged Stress

[Timeout]

Hi, I'm still self-employed and still looking at RE soon hopefully. I posted my re-introduction on another thread and it was suggested I start another thread to ask a specific question for you brave souls who've taken the leap.


The question I have is, have any of you been surprised at how much stress you were under while working without realizing until you finally retired? Was there a weight lifted that you had underestimated or even been unaware of?

 

[MRG]

Hi, I'm still self-employed and still looking at RE soon hopefully. I posted my re-introduction on another thread and it was suggested I start another thread to ask a specific question for you brave souls who've taken the leap.


The question I have is, have any of you been surprised at how much stress you were under while working without realizing until you finally retired? Was there a weight lifted that you had underestimated or even been unaware of?

+1000

I was killing myself and had no idea. It took a couple of years to recover. I lost 55 pounds and my DW did the same. We both now lift weights and jog. Wish we'd done that for my entire career.

 

[Dd852]

Absolutely yes. I had no idea how stressed I had been until I stopped and it stopped - and then, wow. I’ve lost 24 pounds, I sleep better, I have a better time with my wife, I laugh more...

And all the time I was working I thought I was just fine.

 

[travelover]

Absolutely. When I got my signed copy of my buyout papers, I felt like I'd fallen from an airplane and landed in a haystack.

 

[texcurtis]

I had no idea how chronically sleep deprived I was. I think most working people are. Took me several weeks to recover.

 

[W2R]

Hi, I'm still self-employed and still looking at RE soon hopefully. I posted my re-introduction on another thread and it was suggested I start another thread to ask a specific question for you brave souls who've taken the leap.

The question I have is, have any of you been surprised at how much stress you were under while working without realizing until you finally retired? Was there a weight lifted that you had underestimated or even been unaware of?

Very much so.

I was so surprised at how much stress was there. After I retired, it was like peeling an onion.... I'd get rid of what I thought was all my stress, and then under that there was more, and then more, and so on. I got rid of quite a bit of it in a couple of months, but it took 2-3 years before it was all gone.

If I had known how much stress was there while I was still working, I would have tried to retire earlier. It has to be awful for one's health to have that much stress inside.

 

[Timeout]

Thanks for the replies everyone. The reason I asked this question is that I've personally talked with someone who sold their business and retired early and experienced more relief than anticipated. Not wanting to put too much stock into a single case, I thought I'd post here with all of you and see if this is a common occurrence.



Living with stress and not letting it get in the way of day to day business is a fact of business life. But at some point, depending on the individual, I believe we wear down - become beaten down if you will, little by little, blow by blow.



Of course, there are those too I believe, who thrive on things that are wearing me down. Probably the same people who are unknowingly showing me the door.

 

[DrRoy]

I would say no to your question. I was pretty much aware of the stress that I was under. Still enjoyed having it go away, and I do sleep better.

 

[PoorOldCountryBoy]

After a few months of decompress time, go to the store at 4 PM (with all the people getting out of work). Yeah, there's a reason they call it the rat race.

 

[Philliefan33]

I had no idea how chronically sleep deprived I was. I think most working people are. Took me several weeks to recover.

+1

While I was w*rking I averaged 6-7 hours of sleep a night. Right after I retired, I started taking afternoon naps. After about three months I no longer needed to nap every day, but now I go to bed when I’m tired and wake up when I’m not. That usually gets me to 8-9 hours of sleep.

 

[street]

I would say no to your question. I was pretty much aware of the stress that I was under. Still enjoyed having it go away, and I do sleep better.

This was my perception of it also.

 

[Amethyst]

Daily stress hasn't decreased as much as I expected.

1) I'm home more, so I notice more things going wrong with the house and find them harder to live with.
2) Had been expecting that errands during the week would mean less traffic and crowds. Wrong! Everyone flex-times now, so the stores and roads are always crowded. More townhouses and condo's being thrown up every day.
3) We have more health problems than we did 5 years ago.

 

[brett]

It took me six months. Friends said I looked much better. Then another six months to really wind down.

Made a decision to change our lifestyle. Lost 50 pounds. Eat better, exercise daily, no processed foods or fast food, etc. Got rid of some real estate, consolidated our investments for simplicity,downsized, and moved forward.

 

[kcowan]

When working, I thought being a CEO would be less stressful. Two CEO gigs cured me of that misconception! Success in dealing with stress on the job is crucial to taking on more responsibility and gaining the financial benefits. That is one reason why sales is a high paying endeavour.

But yes, it took several years to "delayer" all the stress. Sadly, after being retired for 15 years, the long term stress is showing up in a heart condition. "Live big, die early"!

 

[MRG]

..snip...

Of course, there are those too I believe, who thrive on things that are wearing me down. Probably the same people who are unknowingly showing me the door.

You reminded me of a conversation I had with a good friend, he had listened to me talk about wanting to ER for a long time.

Before I left I'd transferred to another department under a different VP. He was a former Marine and I had a lot of respect for the man. That was short lived. He was afraid of our CIO, who he reported to. He was good at driving people nuts! I eventually left the company a year prior to my plan because of his idiocy.

I lamented to my buddy how I'd let the VP influence my decision. He laughed, said I should send him a thank you note, for helping me make up my mind!

 

[Timeout]

When working, I thought being a CEO would be less stressful. Two CEO gigs cured me of that misconception! Success in dealing with stress on the job is crucial to taking on more responsibility and gaining the financial benefits. That is one reason why sales is a high paying endeavour.

But yes, it took several years to "delayer" all the stress. Sadly, after being retired for 15 years, the long term stress is showing up in a heart condition. "Live big, die early"!

Thanks Keith. While I have been able to delegate more and go into the office less, the reality of being CEO doesn't change much.



Sorry to hear about your heart condition. I wish you the best on that.

 

[Timeout]

You reminded me of a conversation I had with a good friend, he had listened to me talk about wanting to ER for a long time.

Before I left I'd transferred to another department under a different VP. He was a former Marine and I had a lot of respect for the man. That was short lived. He was afraid of our CIO, who he reported to. He was good at driving people nuts! I eventually left the company a year prior to my plan because of his idiocy.

I lamented to my buddy how I'd let the VP influence my decision. He laughed, said I should send him a thank you note, for helping me make up my mind!

I like your story. I've been negotiating with a certain individual my entire career (16 years). He's the VP for the company I lease from. The man is pushing 80 if not already there and he loves butting heads. They've always had the upper hand I suppose and in negotiating, if walking away from the table isn't an option, you'll get eaten alive. I can see walking away from the table as the clear choice more and more each day.

 

[aja8888]

Daily stress hasn't decreased as much as I expected.

1) I'm home more, so I notice more things going wrong with the house and find them harder to live with.
2) Had been expecting that errands during the week would mean less traffic and crowds. Wrong! Everyone flex-times now, so the stores and roads are always crowded. More townhouses and condo's being thrown up every day.
3) We have more health problems than we did 5 years ago.

Except for 1) above, I have experienced the same.

Something going wrong with the house ( 1))? No stress for me as it's generally an expected thing with houses and usually easily dealt with.

 

[MarieIG]

Still working. There is physical stress, mental stress, sleep deprivation, and don't forget traffic/ commuting stress. I shrieked out loud (in my car) last week after getting stuck under a railroad trestle in the Bronx for what seemed like an hour, while late. So, at this point, I'm aware.

 

[imoldernu]

Variation on Parkinson's Law:

Stress expands so as to fill the time available for its completion

 

[Timeout]

Variation on Parkinson's Law:

Stress expands so as to fill the time available for its completion

That's certainly something to ponder.

 

[Dash man]

After five years of ER, stress is a fading memory.

 

[Timeout]

After five years of ER, stress is a fading memory.

That's what I like to hear. Good for you.

 

[Koolau]

Related here previously, the last several years I was empl*yed, I had essentially created a position for myself. I liked it, was good at it, was a known resource and had very little stress. When new mgmt. came in, they decided I would have to do something else - something I would not like and something stressful. I left a week later (2 weeks notice include my left-over vacation.) YMMV

 

[Carpediem]

Has retirement had the opposite effect on anyone - that it created an equal amount or maybe a bit more stress because you knew the paycheck had been cut off? I'm guessing for some that might be true until you get used to living off other types of income.