Some People Talk Too Much

[TromboneAl]

Lena and I went on a nice bike trip yesterday (photos here), and one of the women who came (the one on the left in the first photo), talked non-stop. In the car, on the bikes, in the car on the way home.

She would talk in a slow way, but kind of filling up all the spaces so that no one else could interrupt. Instead of saying "...her husband was a dentist at a prison..." she would say "...her husband was a dentist at the, what was it called, Abluta prison I think it was, but they called it the Abluta men's colony or something like that..."

It was very tiring. Do you think she talks that much with her husband?

 

[travelover]

My sympathies. I think it is a personality disorder. I have known people like this and avoid them whenever possible. I guess that is why they are so intense once they get a captive audience.

 

[dex]

It was very tiring. Do you think she talks that much with her husband?

She probably talked so much to you because her husband ignores her talking.

Instead at looking at her as too talkative, look at her as being impolite, insensitive or abusive to you. How long would you put up with her being abusive to you or your wife?

If, while she was taking, you started a conversation with your wife, I doubt if the other woman would notice.

How did you handle the situation?

 

[Bestwifeever]

I bet your friend is like that alone with her husband, too.

I have a good friend who never shuts up. She cannot stand a quiet moment; she is one of those people with a phone glued to her ear when she is driving alone. She will start talking to complete strangers if something catches her eye. Sometimes it's entertaining because she will start sharing things she really shouldn't, just to make conversation, but mostly I am smacking myself internally for getting caught in it. And the funny thing is that her husband is as bad as she is, and they both sort of pride themselves on their ability to carry on a conversation with anyone!

 

[ProspectiveBum]

My wife has a friend like that. Not only can you not get a word in edge-wise, but she doesn't pick up on non-verbal cues, either. You're forced to be rude to break into her never-ending stream of noise.

If your riding companion is anything like DW's friend, her husband reached his saturation point many moons ago, and she spends lots of time on the phone to fill her daily blab quota.

I agree, it's exhausting.

 

[73ss454]

Lena and I went on a nice bike trip yesterday (photos here), and one of the women who came (the one on the left in the first photo), talked non-stop. In the car, on the bikes, in the car on the way home.

She would talk in a slow way, but kind of filling up all the spaces so that no one else could interrupt. Instead of saying "...her husband was a dentist at a prison..." she would say "...her husband was a dentist at the, what was it called, Abluta prison I think it was, but they called it the Abluta men's colony or something like that..."

It was very tiring. Do you think she talks that much with her husband?

Hey Al, did you notice that he wasn't with you. Or that he's still working?

 

[rescueme]

Was it her first time with the group (since you didn't talk about her previously)?

Maybe it was just nerves ...

 

[MichaelB]

Picture 4, of the solitary house, is amazing.

Sorry for your bikeride. If not for the talking it looks like it could have been enjoyable. Your friend is a compulsive talker. Pity the husband. Surely he has learned to filter – like parents with a crying infant.

When I worked I traveled a lot, had my share of excessive talkers, and learned to deal with them. I sat next to a compulsive talker once on a tarmac - delayed flight, the only one I couldn’t deal with. He even took my headphones off my head! Of the many enlightening things he told me that night were the real reason for “new coke” (I forget – had to do with commodity pricing) and the recipe for “the perfect martini”. One of those memories I want to but cannot forget.

and they both sort of pride themselves on their ability to carry on a conversation with anyone!

Funny thing is – it’s never a conversation because they usually don’t let the other folks talk...

 

[Dawg52]

Was that her in the last photo on the right? She certainly was in overdrive in that photo. I'm the opposite, more of an Ed McMahon type. The type that listens and laughs during a conversation. Might have one other thing in common.

 

[NW Landlady]

Hmmmm! I always thought it was a Wemen's God Given Right to talk too much..

JK AL!

Thanks for sharing the lovely pics of your bike day -- it makes me homesick for Northern California....

 

[bbbamI]

Do you think she talks that much with her husband?

Possibly...or perhaps she feels tuned out by her DH; maybe she rattles on because she wants someone....anyone....to listen to her.

 

[CuppaJoe]

Reminds me of a friend who couldn't edit her resume down to one page from 15 because everything in it is important. Edit deficit disorder? She also talks a bit, took 25 minutes to say, "please hurry, I'm double parked."

 

[Purron]

Make sure not to let her know about the house available for rent next door.....

 

[HFWR]

YouTube - George Thorogood & The Destroyers - You Talk Too Much (30th Anniversary Tour - 2005)

 

[frayne]

We were all given two ears and one tongue so we could listen twice as much as we speak, some people didn't get the memo though.

 

[Sue J]

What a lovely bike ride! Thanks for the pictures.

My sister is like this. She will talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything. She's very needy for people contact and seeks out ways to have interaction. She LOVES to talk about herself, her house, her friends, her travels, her cat, her shoes,movies she's seen, TV shows she watches.

We are very different but we get along great as sisters. We even travel together, just the 2 of us (no husbands) and I was surprised by how well we work together. In a way it's a relief for me to let her take over and talk, talk, talk her way through any situation so that I can be my normal, quiet self.

Sometimes it's a little embarrassing when she just starts talking to people while waiting in line, on a plane or at a museum. The worst time was when we were on a plane and I had the middle seat and she had the aisle and she talked to the person in the window seat for the entire flight. I pretended to follow the conversation at first but I had heard it all before so I closed my eyes and pretended to doze off. There are people who have looked at her like she's intruding but she senses that and moves on.

Here's an example of how different we are. I go walk at an indoor track for exercise. I listen to podcasts or music while I walk and one nice thing is that everyone is wearing earbuds so no one talks to you if you don't want them to. My sister goes to a pool for water aerobics. She likes the exercise but her main purpose in going is that there are always plenty of people to talk to in the pool.

Al, my MIL talks like your friend. She starts a thought and then interrupts herself to clarify and then ends up off on a tangent and you are left waiting for her to circle back and get to the point. It's great when it's a family history story because you hear all about everything else around the event even if you never get the whole story. But she's 81, so you appreciate any tidbits she brings up.

 

[Moemg]

. My sister goes to a pool for water aerobics. She likes the exercise but her main purpose in going is that there are always plenty of people to talk to in the pool.

We have a woman exactly like that in my water aerobics class . She never shuts up and rarely does the exercises no matter how many people she has glaring at her . She just doesn't get it .

 

[Amethyst]

Probably. Spouses get used to each other.

Maybe she was pretty when she was young, and never had to learn how to be interesting to other people (by being interested in them). Maybe her brain doesn't work as well as it used to, either.

Amethyst

It was very tiring. Do you think she talks that much with her husband?

 

[antmary]

Thanks for the photos, Al. Yea, I miss the California coast, especially when it hits 100 degrees over here.

I have relatives and old family acquaintances who like to "drop in." The conversation is a one-sided monologue, and very tiring to listen to. I need to get psyched up to be ready for talkers - like making sure my inner boundary system is in place.

We just finished our new house, and have decided to put up a sign at the entry: "Please respect our privacy" That way, people will hopefully call before coming over.

Yes, come to think of it, I do think that behavior is abusive of my space. It seems that some people are energy vampires.

 

[LOL!]

OK, what do you do when your spouse talks to much and never gets around to the point? An example, "I got hit by a car today" gets conveyed as "I got up to go to work and was feeling great until ....
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...
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... and I had to go back in the house because I had left my keys ...
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then I was talking to Sally before what I'm about to tell you happened ...
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..."

Oh, never mind.

 

[Amethyst]

Never gets to the point, or takes longer than you prefer to get to the point?

The first is related to information processing styles. Although I've learned to tell my stories "bottom line up front," my preferred style is to work through the story as it happened to me.

The second...errr, maybe it's a way of putting off saying something that must be said, yet may not be well received?

OK, what do you do when your spouse talks to much and never gets around to the point? An example, "I got hit by a car today" gets conveyed as "I got up to go to work and was feeling great until ....
...
...
...
...
...
...

 

[haha]

OK, what do you do when your spouse talks to much and never gets around to the point?

Try giving thanks that she considers you a person worthy of communicating with.

I see old people talking to pigeons. They would be thrilled to have someone take too long to get around to the point.

Anyway, it is hard for a man to be sure that he really knows that here is just one point, and that he know just what it is, as she sees and feels it. Maybe the real point is "I need more interaction and feeling of being understood."

One thing I can say with confidence, making her feel accepted and understood is about the most helpful thing that a man can ever learn about pleasing women.

Ha

 

[TromboneAl]

How did you handle the situation?

In the car I just drove and didn't say anything. On the ride I dropped back so I didn't hear the constant droning (e.g. picture 5).

Was it her first time with the group (since you didn't talk about her previously)?

Yes. My wife had asked whether she was fast, and the friend had said "Yes, and she's also a very chatty rider."

 

[Purron]

One thing I can say with confidence, making her feel accepted and understood is about the most helpful thing that a man can ever learn about pleasing women.

Ha

You have such a way of making people feel beautiful, interesting, important, wanted, and desirable. I hope you have someone in your life who makes you feel the same way.

 

[bbbamI]

One thing I can say with confidence, making her feel accepted and understood is about the most helpful thing that a man can ever learn about pleasing women.

Ha

Another praise for your post. You are one in a million.....