ER Eddie
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,788
I already posted on surprises in the first and second months of retirement. There were no real surprises in the third or fourth month, but here are some from the fifth month:
1. I'm spending more than I thought I would, and that's fine. My quarterly spending is about $1000/month more than I projected, based on tracking my expenses a few years back. The difference is likely due to three factors: I'm intentionally spending more; I was fairly restrained in that earlier tracking period; and I'm very early in retirement so I'm sort of letting loose.
Despite the increased spending, I have no worries. I'm at about a 2% withdrawal rate. I actually think I should be spending more, because I'd rather not end up dead with a big bank account, but I've never cared that much for expensive stuff (cars, houses, vacations, etc.), so an extra $1000/quarter is about all I'm actually interested in doing.
2. Adopted a new dog. My old friend crossed over about 6 months ago, and I waited until it felt right to get a new dog. He's a two-year old Papillion mix, and he's a great little guy -- very calm, friendly, and peaceful. We're spending a lot of time getting to know each other.
3. Struggles over "meaningful work" and volunteering. I expected that retirement would involve a long period of decompressing from work and just taking it easy, not being much concerned with issues of meaning and purpose, but it reared its head quicker than I thought. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, because that's always been a big concern of mine.
It wasn't that I had a lack of things to do, but I did feel a sense that I needed a meaningful project of some type, beyond just learning and growth, which is what occupies a fair chunk of my time.
At first I thought it would be volunteering at the animal shelter. I've always loved animals, and I figured that would be a way I could give back. However, when I got involved, I didn't find it that satisfying. I didn't like having to be there there every week at a certain time. I didn't like having to follow all the rules and policies. I didn't like the tasks (e.g., cleaning kennels) and the very programmatic system. I felt like I was basically just unpaid labor. I also felt weird about being an older male mixed amongst young female college students, most of them there because of school or scholarship requirements.
Anyhow, despite knowing all the benefits of volunteering and feeling a desire to help animals, I just couldn't find the motivation to do it. I think part of the problem was a mismatch between me and that specific volunteer gig. I'm not ruling out volunteering in the future. But I also think that, right now, I don't want anything that resembles a job or work.
I understand better now why some people here refer to it as "w*rk" or a "j*b." When I was working, I would naturally try to see the upside of doing so -- the meaning derived, the collegiality, the intellectual stimulation, etc. But now that I'm free of the obligations and commitments of work, I want nothing to do with it. It feels like my first priority is to retain this sense of freedom and ease that I have.
I am still interested in meaning, but I've reframed it for myself from "meaningful work" to "meaningful activity."
4. Decided I'm not interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with a woman, at this stage of my life. This is not really that surprising, since I haven't dated much at all in the past decade. My pattern would be to occasionally sign up for a dating site, then watch my interest completely drop off within a couple weeks. That happened repeatedly. I thought maybe it was just lack of time, and so I'd think, "When I have more time, I'll get around to it." But when I had more time (when I went part-time, then when I went full retirement), same thing happened. So inside, I already really felt/knew that it wasn't something I was really interested in.
There are a lot of factors involved, which I won't go into, but I'll mention two things. One was a pro/con list, which was weighted heavily against (about 10 to 1). The second was calculating the probability of finding a woman in my area who would be a good fit for a genuinely satisfying LTR. That turned out to be about a 1 in 20,000 chance of finding 1 woman like that -- absurdly low odds. So that helped to put the idea to rest.
5. I am surprised at how long ago work feels. It's only been about 5 months since I retired, but it feels like another lifetime ago. It feels so distant.
6. I haven't gotten over how nice the freedom feels. I figured maybe I would habituate to it, and maybe I have to some degree, but there are many times when I'll just stop and appreciate how nice it is to have nothing that I have to do -- and not just for today or the weekend, but for the rest of my life. That's a pretty relaxed feeling.
I reflected to myself not long ago that this is one of the first times in my life where I have absolutely nothing to worry about -- nothing coming up that I have to "deal with," no problems on the horizon, no work stresses, no health issues, no Monday responsibilities, no relationship stresses, no worries at all, just a lot of freedom to do what I feel drawn to do. Feels pretty nice. *knock wood* I have to say, my life's been pretty difficult at times (not saying I'm a victim; my difficulties have often been self-chosen, in a sense), and so I'm enjoying this period of freedom, ease, and relaxation. I kinda feel like I deserve it.
1. I'm spending more than I thought I would, and that's fine. My quarterly spending is about $1000/month more than I projected, based on tracking my expenses a few years back. The difference is likely due to three factors: I'm intentionally spending more; I was fairly restrained in that earlier tracking period; and I'm very early in retirement so I'm sort of letting loose.
Despite the increased spending, I have no worries. I'm at about a 2% withdrawal rate. I actually think I should be spending more, because I'd rather not end up dead with a big bank account, but I've never cared that much for expensive stuff (cars, houses, vacations, etc.), so an extra $1000/quarter is about all I'm actually interested in doing.
2. Adopted a new dog. My old friend crossed over about 6 months ago, and I waited until it felt right to get a new dog. He's a two-year old Papillion mix, and he's a great little guy -- very calm, friendly, and peaceful. We're spending a lot of time getting to know each other.
3. Struggles over "meaningful work" and volunteering. I expected that retirement would involve a long period of decompressing from work and just taking it easy, not being much concerned with issues of meaning and purpose, but it reared its head quicker than I thought. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, because that's always been a big concern of mine.
It wasn't that I had a lack of things to do, but I did feel a sense that I needed a meaningful project of some type, beyond just learning and growth, which is what occupies a fair chunk of my time.
At first I thought it would be volunteering at the animal shelter. I've always loved animals, and I figured that would be a way I could give back. However, when I got involved, I didn't find it that satisfying. I didn't like having to be there there every week at a certain time. I didn't like having to follow all the rules and policies. I didn't like the tasks (e.g., cleaning kennels) and the very programmatic system. I felt like I was basically just unpaid labor. I also felt weird about being an older male mixed amongst young female college students, most of them there because of school or scholarship requirements.
Anyhow, despite knowing all the benefits of volunteering and feeling a desire to help animals, I just couldn't find the motivation to do it. I think part of the problem was a mismatch between me and that specific volunteer gig. I'm not ruling out volunteering in the future. But I also think that, right now, I don't want anything that resembles a job or work.
I understand better now why some people here refer to it as "w*rk" or a "j*b." When I was working, I would naturally try to see the upside of doing so -- the meaning derived, the collegiality, the intellectual stimulation, etc. But now that I'm free of the obligations and commitments of work, I want nothing to do with it. It feels like my first priority is to retain this sense of freedom and ease that I have.
I am still interested in meaning, but I've reframed it for myself from "meaningful work" to "meaningful activity."
4. Decided I'm not interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with a woman, at this stage of my life. This is not really that surprising, since I haven't dated much at all in the past decade. My pattern would be to occasionally sign up for a dating site, then watch my interest completely drop off within a couple weeks. That happened repeatedly. I thought maybe it was just lack of time, and so I'd think, "When I have more time, I'll get around to it." But when I had more time (when I went part-time, then when I went full retirement), same thing happened. So inside, I already really felt/knew that it wasn't something I was really interested in.
There are a lot of factors involved, which I won't go into, but I'll mention two things. One was a pro/con list, which was weighted heavily against (about 10 to 1). The second was calculating the probability of finding a woman in my area who would be a good fit for a genuinely satisfying LTR. That turned out to be about a 1 in 20,000 chance of finding 1 woman like that -- absurdly low odds. So that helped to put the idea to rest.
5. I am surprised at how long ago work feels. It's only been about 5 months since I retired, but it feels like another lifetime ago. It feels so distant.
6. I haven't gotten over how nice the freedom feels. I figured maybe I would habituate to it, and maybe I have to some degree, but there are many times when I'll just stop and appreciate how nice it is to have nothing that I have to do -- and not just for today or the weekend, but for the rest of my life. That's a pretty relaxed feeling.
I reflected to myself not long ago that this is one of the first times in my life where I have absolutely nothing to worry about -- nothing coming up that I have to "deal with," no problems on the horizon, no work stresses, no health issues, no Monday responsibilities, no relationship stresses, no worries at all, just a lot of freedom to do what I feel drawn to do. Feels pretty nice. *knock wood* I have to say, my life's been pretty difficult at times (not saying I'm a victim; my difficulties have often been self-chosen, in a sense), and so I'm enjoying this period of freedom, ease, and relaxation. I kinda feel like I deserve it.
