Being a Caretaker for your Spouse

[harllee]

If you type phrases like "best selling Amazon xxxxx" into Google, where xxxx is something like acupressure tools, trigger point books or massage tools you can get a list back of their best sellers. I had some pain issues this year and bought a variety of the tools this way and most of them really were helpful. One doctor appointment might be $100 - $200 on my high deductible health plan, which means I can buy quite a few books and tools that I can use forever for the price of one doctor appointment.

I don't have a trigger point machine but if you find one that helps, let me know and I'll buy one, too.

I am going to try to get a better look at the handheld machine the massage person used next week when I go and i would let you know if I find anything. The only problem I would have is that I cannot reach the areas where I am having the pain on my back so I don't know if I can use the hand held myself

 

[harllee]

Regarding the trash/recycling- When my mom was no longer able to bring the large bins to the end of the driveway and back, I contacted her provider. They had a free service for such folks. Once registered, the truck driver(s) made the treck up the drive to get the bins, emptied them, and returned the bins to the spot up at the house. The bins just had to be accessible (no gates, etc). Worked great for 5+ years.

I have contacted my town about help for the trash/recycling and they don't provide any help. I have also contacted the local senior agency and they don't have any suggestions either. I see a potential business idea for a young person--go around and wheel the bins in and out for people who cannot do it and charge a reasonable fee. I think I will suggest that on Next-door

 

[Scuba]

One specific thing I am having trouble with is wheeling the trash and recycling to the curb from the side of the house. They are these very large heavy cans that a truck picks up. They have to be out the night before and then have to be wheeled back beside the house by 7 pm the next day. I got a young friend to wheel them out last week. I guess I could hire a college kid but they would have to come twice--once to wheel out and once to wheel back. Any suggestions?

Good idea to post on Nextdoor. Hopefully someone will volunteer to help. Glad you have resources to get help. Definitely a great idea to take all the help you can get in this difficult situation.

 

[Jerry1]

I think I will suggest that on Next-door

Does your Nextdoor have an area called Help Map? If so, that’s where people who are willing to help post their willingness to do so. There’s a few around my house that if they were near you would seem to be willing to help you out.

 

[Pellice]

Also, it may be an option to check with your health care insurance, depending on the provider. Mine has a telephone number to connect me with "Resources for Living," which is some kind of vetted directory of all sorts of services. I haven't needed it yet, but I am definitely NOT going to lose that number!

 

[harllee]

Does your Nextdoor have an area called Help Map? If so, that’s where people who are willing to help post their willingness to do so. There’s a few around my house that if they were near you would seem to be willing to help you out.

I have never seen that on my Next-door but I will look

 

[NancyH]

Our trash service offers an option to pay an extra fee and they will get your cans and return them beside the house.

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

My next door has ppl asking for and also recommending a caretaker. This may be what youre looking after. Light house cleaning, laundry, changing sheets, etc. Have you asked about this on next door? (Apologies, I haven't read the entire thread)

 

[harllee]

Update--things are going better for me. DH is slowly recovering from knee replacement and can now do his own personal care like dressing, showering and can eat at the table. I have found a vaccinated person to occasionally clean and I am using a laundry service. I am also getting therapeutic massages for my back and they are helping. All this is fairly expensive but necessary. The only thing I have not found is grocery delivery--none of the ones I have tried have been satisfactory. So I continue to do grocery curbside pick up, a couple of times a friend has helped me get the groceries in the house. The only issue I have now is that I cannot find any gas due to the Colonial pipeline shut down but hopefully that is short lived. Thanks for all the help and suggestions, I was getting depressed and being able to post here helped me. It is good to have a third party perspective.

 

[Koolau]

Update--things are going better for me. DH is slowly recovering from knee replacement and can now do his own personal care like dressing, showering and can eat at the table. I have found a vaccinated person to occasionally clean and I am using a laundry service. I am also getting therapeutic massages for my back and they are helping. All this is fairly expensive but necessary. The only thing I have not found is grocery delivery--none of the ones I have tried have been satisfactory. So I continue to do grocery curbside pick up, a couple of times a friend has helped me get the groceries in the house. The only issue I have now is that I cannot find any gas due to the Colonial pipeline shut down but hopefully that is short lived. Thanks for all the help and suggestions, I was getting depressed and being able to post here helped me. It is good to have a third party perspective.

So happy things are beginning to work out for you. I'm sure you'll get through this time of stress. It's so important to look after yourself, so never deny yourself the massages or spending money by laying off "chores" on paid help. You have to stay strong.

Just your perspective on the Colonial pipeline shut down makes me think I should keep our gas tank more full. We just lost a car (won't likely replace). It was my back-up fuel source and now its gone. YMMV

 

[Brat]

I was reading recently that a couple of health care organizations are exploring "hospital at home" using remote monitoring. Oh sure, just what an elderly couple needs. Just who will assist with toileting and intimate care?

 

[Koolau]

I was reading recently that a couple of health care organizations are exploring "hospital at home" using remote monitoring. Oh sure, just what an elderly couple needs. Just who will assist with toileting and intimate care?

I suppose I'd think of that option as just one more arrow in the quiver of options. Certainly not useful for every situation but might be useful in some situations. Clearly, YMMV.