Couple feels they are entitled to a certain lifestyle

[dknighd]

I've decided there are two kinds of people. One kind spends less than they earn (or they might earn one day). And thinks about the future. The other kind spends whatever they want. Future be damned.
I hope my kids have learned to think about the future. I think they have.
If not, there is still hope. There is a third kind of person. One who spends too much early, then discovers their mistake. My brother is in that camp. He has lived a good life, but now needs to adjust to spending less.

 

[Time2]

I've decided there are two kinds of people. One kind spends less than they earn (or they might earn one day). And thinks about the future. The other kind spends whatever they want. Future be damned.
I hope my kids have learned to think about the future. I think they have.
If not, there is still hope. There is a third kind of person. One who spends too much early, then discovers their mistake. My brother is in that camp. He has lived a good life, but now needs to adjust to spending less.

I have one kid, the lower earner that is saving very well, The other very higher earners ($300k) are maxing their retirements, but I'm not sure they are saving money outside of that. They went from a fairly new) and a new boat and trailer within a year of her getting a high paying career. Very recent income jump, and rather than save for these things, I'm sure they took on debt. Not Dad's way!

 

[MarieIG]

I have one kid, the lower earner that is saving very well, The other very higher earners ($300k) are maxing their retirements, but I'm not sure they are saving money outside of that. They went from a fairly new) and a new boat and trailer within a year of her getting a high paying career. Very recent income jump, and rather than save for these things, I'm sure they took on debt. Not Dad's way!

You can talk to her. Very carefully, gently, and non-judgmentally about managing finances in general. Will it make a difference? Maybe not, but it may, just may, plant some seeds for the future.

 

[dknighd]

I have one kid, the lower earner that is saving very well, The other very higher earners ($300k) are maxing their retirements, but I'm not sure they are saving money outside of that.

They will be fine.

 

[Music Lover]

Was just having this conversation with DW the other day. Believe I said [in my most pontificatingly mansplainish voice] something like "Yah know dear, in retirement, I don't think we'll ever need to spend another dime on clothes. I mean right now we've got a couple homes chock full of closets of clothes - our problem next couple years will be consolidating and getting rid of most of it."

Well, she corrected me on that. Apparently, she is not yet of the age where fashion trends no longer matter - apparently doesn't want to look like an old fuddy duddy geezer just yet. Anyhow, it is now clear to me that our budget will need a line item for clothes, at least next couple years. Also clear that $500/month could easily be a pair of shoes or a dress at today's inflation-bloated prices.

With sales and outlet malls I'm able to buy quality clothes at a fraction of normal retail. Name brand golf shirts $12 - 15, regular T's $8 - 10, etc.

$100 a year would be excessive spending on clothing for me.

 

[Music Lover]

You can get a permanent sitewide ban (from reddit ) for that but I hear you. There is a lot of extremism and absolutism in some of those forums. They do not tolerate facts that counter their narrative.

I was banned from Money Moustache for countering misinformed rants with easily verified facts. I didn't bother to go back under a different name...let them wallow in their ignorance if they so choose.

 

[Aerides]

With sales and outlet malls I'm able to buy quality clothes at a fraction of normal retail. Name brand golf shirts $12 - 15, regular T's $8 - 10, etc.

$100 a year would be excessive spending on clothing for me.

Tell me you are a guy without telling me you are a guy...

Much harder for women to shop. You know those nice 3-packs of quality t-shirts you can all get in black or white? Nothing like that exists for women. One shirt is the price of your 3-pack.

I mean sure I'll check out the clearance and outlet racks, but what's there is usually odd sizes, 3-seasons ago trends that no one wanted. Not quality timeless basics at all.

Of course without the need for regular office updates I spend far less on clothing now, but I still like to look nice and have something new to wear from time to time. Keep the budget line!

 

[Music Lover]

Tell me you are a guy without telling me you are a guy...

Much harder for women to shop. You know those nice 3-packs of quality t-shirts you can all get in black or white? Nothing like that exists for women. One shirt is the price of your 3-pack.

I mean sure I'll check out the clearance and outlet racks, but what's there is usually odd sizes, 3-seasons ago trends that no one wanted. Not quality timeless basics at all.

Of course without the need for regular office updates I spend far less on clothing now, but I still like to look nice and have something new to wear from time to time. Keep the budget line!

My wife does the same, a little less choice and slightly higher prices but she still manages to get nice things at good prices.

I don't buy the 3-packs of T-shirts either, they're usually lower quality. I gravitate towards Dri-fit and/or name brand clearances that normally sell for $25 and up.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Since retiring I rarely buy clothes as classic styles endure. I did donate 90% of my work clothes when I retired because I didn’t need them. I gave them to an organization that gives clothes to women that are low income and returning to work that need a professional look.

 

[Sunset]

With sales and outlet malls I'm able to buy quality clothes at a fraction of normal retail. Name brand golf shirts $12 - 15, regular T's $8 - 10, etc.

$100 a year would be excessive spending on clothing for me.

I get my golf shirts for $9-$10 , and I buy a bunch every 5 years whether I need them or not

Tell me you are a guy without telling me you are a guy...

Much harder for women to shop. You know those nice 3-packs of quality t-shirts you can all get in black or white? Nothing like that exists for women. One shirt is the price of your 3-pack.

....

I agree, it's totally crazy the prices women are charged, I don't get why women put up with it. Same with women haircuts.

I refuse to buy jeans if they cost more than $20 and that would be an extreme price. Normally I pay $10 -> $12 for my jeans and then they last decades...

 

[LateToFIRE]

Tell me you are a guy without telling me you are a guy...

LoL, Yes indeed, it is clearly a whole different ball game in terms of fashion prices for all you ladies out there.

 

[Time2]

They will be fine.

Oh, I'm sure they will, I just wish the did it different. I'm not privy to their finances, so maybe I see spending side but not the saving side.

 

[Music Lover]

LoL, Yes indeed, it is clearly a whole different ball game in terms of fashion prices for all you ladies out there.

Well, to be fair (and hopefully non-sexist), enough women have proven that they'll pay inflated prices that they can justify charging them.

 

[HarveyS]

At about 17:40 he says, "we do the things we want to do before the things we have to do. Then, when it comes tome to do the things we have to do we don't have any money."
Huh, wonder what their problem is?

 

[Phroig]

You know those nice 3-packs of quality t-shirts you can all get in black or white? Nothing like that exists for women. One shirt is the price of your 3-pack.

Fruit of the Loom makes these in colors. My wife wears them.

 

[Montecfo]

Ok but as a guy, why exactly am I buying 3 packs of cotton tee shirts in white or black?

Serious question.

I have some white ones that I used to wear under dress shirts at times. But usually not. And these days I dress for weddings and funerals, that's it.

 

[Aerides]

Ok but as a guy, why exactly am I buying 3 packs of cotton tee shirts in white or black?

Because laundry... lol...

 

[ychuck46]

My wife had a coworker who always told her that she "deserved" to have a Cadillac. My DW finally told her she "deserved" what she could afford. Ended the coworker pissing and whining to her about how unfair life was.

 

[braumeister]

My wife had a coworker who always told her that she "deserved" to have a Cadillac. My DW finally told her she "deserved" what she could afford. Ended the coworker pissing and whining to her about how unfair life was.

Everyone has their own mode of economic thought. I read something recently about a young person who said that all her tattoos were actually no cost at all. Since she would have them for the rest of her life, they could only cost at most a few cents a day, or essentially free.

 

[MichaelB]

We humans have a remarkable ability to rationalize that which we desire.

 

[ychuck46]

Everyone has their own mode of economic thought. I read something recently about a young person who said that all her tattoos were actually no cost at all. Since she would have them for the rest of her life, they could only cost at most a few cents a day, or essentially free.

I guess almost any purchase, no matter how ridiculous or frivolous, can be justified using that rationale. Now I wonder how her math will work when down the road she may have to pay to remove them, when she realizes the tattoos become a detriment to things like potential mates, employment, etc.

 

[ncbill]

Tell me you are a guy without telling me you are a guy...

Much harder for women to shop. You know those nice 3-packs of quality t-shirts you can all get in black or white? Nothing like that exists for women. One shirt is the price of your 3-pack.

I mean sure I'll check out the clearance and outlet racks, but what's there is usually odd sizes, 3-seasons ago trends that no one wanted. Not quality timeless basics at all.

Of course without the need for regular office updates I spend far less on clothing now, but I still like to look nice and have something new to wear from time to time. Keep the budget line!

This is my wife's favorite store currently:

Talbots

Plenty of marked-down items plus regular coupon offers in the mail.

 

[Cerys]

Speaking of $1500 iPhones, do most people finance those? I pay cash and the sales clerks (Apple Store and Verizon Wireless) look at me like I'm a triple-headed zombie with five legs. They look panicked and ask a couple times, are you sure... is that your final answer. At first I thought it was some kinda sales technique, but after a few years of this, I'm thinking, no, its just genuine shock. And they look even more troubled when I decline the device insurance.

I’ve never financed my IPhone, but I do take advantage of the monthly payments for it. I’ve done the math. It’s the same price via pay now or divvy it up into 24 payments.

Probably somewhere finances phones, but I’ve never seen it.

 

[athena53]

Speaking of $1500 iPhones, do most people finance those? I pay cash and the sales clerks (Apple Store and Verizon Wireless) look at me like I'm a triple-headed zombie with five legs. They look panicked and ask a couple times, are you sure... is that your final answer. At first I thought it was some kinda sales technique, but after a few years of this, I'm thinking, no, its just genuine shock. And they look even more troubled when I decline the device insurance.

I paid in full for my last one but it was "only" $700 or so. When I have to bite the bullet and upgrade I'll do the same. I don't believe in tying myself into contracts in return for a "free" phone. An unlocked iPhone with Ting works just fine for me.

LoL, Yes indeed, it is clearly a whole different ball game in terms of fashion prices for all you ladies out there.

Not necessarily. I've made some thrift shop purchases of sweaters that get me compliments from perfect strangers. Just last month I was in Romania and realized I needed a warm jacket. There were two thrift shops near our hotel. I found a really great jacket for $8. I'd never heard of the name before (Wellensteyn) but I looked it up. I got a bargain.

 

[JLoft]

I had a very similar experience growing up and that contributed a lot to my aversion to credit card debt, and debt in general. My parents (mostly my father) accumulated a good deal of debt with a Montgomery Ward credit card, and they got the "wake up call" when they lost one of the cards and Wards refused to give them another until most of it was paid down. I don't think it was five figures (this would have been 1963) and I was about 13 at the time. But I still remember there was a big celebration when they finally paid it all off, three years later. Well, as we all know, to a teenager three years is "like FOREEEVER!" and it made a lasting impression on me: "Credit cards = bad!"

Now, this being the 21st century we do use credit cards extensively since it greatly simplifies a lot of things, but like most here we pay them all off in full every month.

When I was about twelve my dad got home one day and my mom said “this came in the mail today.” It was a brand new Master Charge card from their hometown bank. Almost simultaneously they both said “What would we ever use this for?”

What was again reinforced to me at that moment is that you don’t buy things you don’t have the money for. Thanks mom and dad.