Dentists

SecondAttempt

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This might be more of a rant than a question. But I am wondering what others would do.

First some background. I had regular dental care growing up then did not see a dentist at all for about 20 years after leaving home for college in spite of having dental insurance for much of that period. Never had an pain or noticeable (to me) issues.

Then I went to a dentist in the very early 2000s, not because I thought I had an issue but because my wife did. It was one of those chains. I turned out to have a couple of issues they thought needing addressing. Who was I to second guess? After 20 years I was not surprised. I got a couple of fillings and 2 crowns, one was horribly botched and I ended up losing the tooth a few years later, not from decay but because xrays from a later dentist showed the crown was botched.

That experience turned me off on dentists and I did not see another until about 7 years later. I had such a bad toothache one morning I could not function. I had insurance but had not bothered to select a dentist. I called my insurance and they said I had to wait a few days after selecting a dentist. I was in bad shape and begged to see someone as an emergency. They sent me to a dentist with a tiny practice, seemingly old equipment, a degree from Cuba.

I was in no shape to be picky. He took me in immediately, said he was quite busy that morning but would take care of me. He put me in a chair, shot me up with Novocaine and my world changed. I was in that chair for over 6 hours before he got to me. He checked in occasionally and numbed me again but did not work on me until the afternoon. He ended up doing an emergency root canal and a crown. I saw him for several more years but did not have a lot of major work done. Then he moved his practice about 100 miles away and I like him enough to consider sticking with him but ultimately found a new dentist and had regular care until I moved to Hawaii. I liked this guy as well.

When I got here I went without care for about 4-5 years until I had visible decay in a visible tooth and went to my partner's dentist. That led to an implant but no other major work. A couple of fillings and one crown replacement because it was cracked after 20 years. I like this dentist as well.

But, here is the dilemma. He sold the practice to a cosmetic dentist. I have had a couple of cleanings but only one annual exam with the dentist. She is a perky young blonde. Now, I don't have any problem with perky, young, or blonde. But I just did not like her.

After having dentists I liked and trusted for 15 years am I wrong in considering finding someone new based on first impressions? The thing is I like my hygenist in the office. I will probably give the new girl a couple of years but I'm just wondering what others would do.
 
Well, it sounds like the majority of your past dental problems are not the dentist's, but your lack of regular check ups and cleanings.

All that aside, regardless of how perky someone is.... pick medical providers you feel you can respect and trust, regardless of specific profession. Whether that's a dentist, a PCP, or a cardiologist. Youth/gender/appearance don't really need to come into play.
 
After having dentists I liked and trusted for 15 years am I wrong in considering finding someone new based on first impressions? The thing is I like my hygenist in the office. I will probably give the new girl a couple of years but I'm just wondering what others would do.
If I don't like and/or trust a particular dentist or doctor, I won't go back no matter "how good" they are "suppose" to be. I don't like going to dentists or doctors anyway and there are tons of good ones to pick from, might as well go to one I like.

And for some reason, when picking a new/unknown doctor or dentist, I tend to select females when I can. Go figure that one.
 
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If I do not like the provider I am unlikely to trust their advice. We drive another 30 miles to see an ENT that I really like.
Our dentist is young, perky and cute but we like her.
 
After the dental we used transformed from one that focused on customer service to one that focused on the bottom line (which generated unnecessary issues for us), we simply asked a number of friends and acquaintances for whom they used. We received many recommendations for a particular dentist, went to that practice, and are very happy again. Sometimes word-of-mouth (pun intended) referrals can be a great way to find a good dentist.

I would also agree that regular visits is important. Even if everything is okay is it good to have an ongoing "track record" of things, and increases the possibility of catching something early before it becomes a major problem.
 
[...]
After having dentists I liked and trusted for 15 years am I wrong in considering finding someone new based on first impressions? The thing is I like my hygenist in the office. I will probably give the new girl a couple of years but I'm just wondering what others would do.

I would go with my gut instincts, and apparently yours are telling you to look for a new dentist.

The dentist I have right now is the best one I have ever had. You'll laugh when you hear about how I found him. I had just moved here for a brand new job, and the very first day on the job a very visible tooth broke off at the gumline. Great way to impress the new boss, right? :LOL: I barely knew my way around town, much less what dentist would be good.

However, I had noticed a dentist's office in a fairly upscale part of town compared to where I was renting, and I figured that hey, if he was good enough for a rich clientele, then maybe he could fix my tooth. Turned out that dentist was too busy to see me but he was sharing his office with a new dental school grad, Dr. M, who would be glad to see me after I got off work that day. Dr. M and I hit it off immediately - - he was utterly thrilled with dentistry, and seemed to have sharp eyes and good manual dexterity, along with an excellent dental degree. He restored my tooth, and I have been going to him for the past 23 years.

Good luck and I hope you find a new dentist that you like!
 
Could it be that your new dentist is just different than your previous dentist so that’s why you weren’t thrilled with her? Maybe just an adjustment period.
As long as she didn’t do anything outrageous and since you like the hygienist so much I would give it one more visit.

I wouldn’t give up going to this dentist unless I found another dentist. Not going to the dentist gets you into big trouble. I try to avoid that as much as possible.

I got my dentist by word of mouth. I’ve gone to him for at least 25 years as has most everyone in my family. I dread the day he retires and I have to find a new dentist. Hopefully someone good buys his practice.
If not I’ll ask around and try until I find a good one.
 
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After having dentists I liked and trusted for 15 years am I wrong in considering finding someone new based on first impressions? The thing is I like my hygienist in the office. I will probably give the new girl a couple of years but I'm just wondering what others would do.

Ack! Please do not refer to someone who went through the rigors of dental school as a "girl"!

I agree on getting regular care, especially as we age. I go 4 times a year for cleanings because I have multiple dental implants and tend to accumulate plaque. I probably have a major issue once every couple of years and it's so much easier to get an appointment on an emergency basis if you have an existing relationship. I once needed a root canal a week before leaving on a trip to India. My dentist got me in with his preferred endodontist with a 7 AM appointment. Priceless.
 
If I don't like and/or trust a particular dentist or doctor, I won't go back no matter "how good" they are "suppose" to be. I don't like going to dentists or doctors anyway and there are tons of good ones to pick from, might as well go to one I like.

And for some reason, when picking a new/unknown doctor or dentist, I tend to select females when I can. Go figure that one.

While I know I shouldn't stereotype by gender, all I can speak from is personal experience. Every female practitioner seemed to be a better listener and talked with me, vs at me. Male doctors have often been condescending, abrupt or just seemed in a huge rush to bolt literally a few minutes after arriving. I try to find female practitioners, whenever possible.
 
^^^^^^
Well said, and they have smaller hands too (typically) :LOL:
 
A few years back, I made the mistake of picking a young perky vet and quickly discovered that young also means less experienced. After paying $250 for her to suture up my dog's paw and having the sutures rip out the same day, I started asking for the older, experienced vet who knew where just a bandage is the appropriate treatment.

I, too, tend to choose female professionals as they have to be smarter and more persistent to make it and they are better listeners.
 
True. I've always thought it odd that the largest guy in my HS class, 6'6" with huge hands, became a dentist.
I bet he could really pull a tooth.
 
Perky is the word of the day on this thread, eh? :LOL:

Had an old guy. He was good. Sold it to young female. She was good. She got burned out and ER'd at age 48 (good for her!). Young man bought the practice, he's my current dentist. Good guy, good dentist.

We've been lucky. Gender and age didn't matter a flip. Glad my middle dentist ER'd instead grinding it out in resentment.
 
Yeah I put up with one I didn't like for several years after my old dentist retired. It was sort of a waste when something big came up I didn't trust him and found a new much better place anyway. (I had a root canal at a specialist and asked them for recommendations on new dentist). I wished I had switched sooner.
 
As I have posted before, a few years ago DW and I got off this train. We now go to the local university dental clinic where no one is motivated to sell us things we don’t' need, the quality control by the monitoring professors is top notch, and fees are well under the retail market. Even if the fees were not a bargain, the first two reasons are all we need to support our decisions.
 
While I know I shouldn't stereotype by gender, all I can speak from is personal experience. Every female practitioner seemed to be a better listener and talked with me, vs at me. Male doctors have often been condescending, abrupt or just seemed in a huge rush to bolt literally a few minutes after arriving. I try to find female practitioners, whenever possible.
^^^^^^
Well said, and they have smaller hands too (typically) :LOL:

Well, sometimes! You oughtta see my hands. :ROFLMAO: Good thing I'm not a dentist.
 
While I know I shouldn't stereotype by gender, all I can speak from is personal experience. Every female practitioner seemed to be a better listener and talked with me, vs at me. Male doctors have often been condescending, abrupt or just seemed in a huge rush to bolt literally a few minutes after arriving. I try to find female practitioners, whenever possible.

My wife has had the exact opposite experience. The last female dentist she had could not correctly put a crown on - it kept coming off. After the 3rd time, she essentially threw her hands up and said there was nothing more she could do, my wife must be doing "something wrong" in her bite.

The male dentist we found took x-rays, showed my wife what the issue was, explained what he could do to address it. He put the crown on and zero problems since then.

So, it goes either way :). Different strokes for different folks...
 
Myold dentist and friend retired and sold the practice. Went back last year after about 4 years when did not go. Saw a new one, had heavy accent could not understand easily what he was saying. If I cant understand a doc completly won't go near them. Anyhow went fr ceaning with hygenist who I have know for 20 years,she said use this another doc.
About 35 year old female. She is wonderful,great super good, I have full trust. Talking about female doc's,had emergency gut surgery back in November,low and behold another wonderful super doc,about 35 year old female. Oldmike
 
As I have posted before, a few years ago DW and I got off this train. We now go to the local university dental clinic where no one is motivated to sell us things we don’t' need, the quality control by the monitoring professors is top notch, and fees are well under the retail market. Even if the fees were not a bargain, the first two reasons are all we need to support our decisions.

Wish I could go this route. But when I last checked, it was an 8-12 month waiting list, just to get an initial exam at the only university dental clinic in my area, unless you were under 18 - kids are prioritized above everyone else. Heaven knows how long it would be if more work was needed after the initial exam. Gave up on that real fast.
 
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Well, it sounds like the majority of your past dental problems are not the dentist's, but your lack of regular check ups and cleanings.

Yes that is true, and I own that.

It is not her gender I have an issue with either. It is her demeanor. Would I have used the word perky and mentioned blond hair if it was a young guy who I found obnoxious, probably not, so I apologize for that.

But most of the professionals I have worked with in my entire life have been women, lawyers, doctors, accountants, tax preparers, stock brokers back in the day, etc. So I am pretty confident that her gender is not what put me off. My partner (female) has also seen her once and also did not have a good first impression.
 
I have a cleaning in November. I just had my annual exam in July. So I think I will stick it out until next July. I have some work I want to get done in the mean time, replacing a crown that is cracked, so I will probably get that done and judge her based on that.

Regarding the "new girl" comment athena called me out on, it was not meant to be disparaging. Were the new dentist a male I would have said "new guy." I understand that word choices like that can be sensitive but I had no ill intent.

And as I said, I am not questioning her competence. I just did not have the kind of chemistry with her that I have had with the previous (male) dentists I have liked. They were all practical, down-to-earth, and pragmatic. And frankly they were all around my age or older and when I think back it could be that I felt like she was treating me like a child/nursing home patient rather than an intelligent equal.

Anyway, I appreciate all the responses, even the ones calling me out for my attitude or neglecting care. I will give the new dental professional some time and see how the crown replacement and next annual go before looking for someone new.
 
I had very poor to nonexistent dental care as a child. As a young adult, I found a good dentist, by chance. He was the first person to figure out that I don’t numb up quickly. I was in the chair and he was working and noticed me wincing. He asked me “do you feel that?”, to which I said yes. I thought that was as good (numb) as it got. Well a couple shots more and a little time and I was actually numb for the first time. That certainly made dental work a lot better for me.

He left to another state and I was fortunate that a sister of a friend was just getting out of dental school and I started going to see her. At this point, she’s more of a friend than just my dentist. I’ve been seeing her for over 30 years. I’m not looking forward to the day she retires. Thankfully, she’s been more inclined to just reduce her hours over the past few years than actually retire. I used to do her bookkeeping so I know she has more than enough to retire but I hope she keeps going for awhile longer as I am not looking forward to looking for a new dentist. One of the things I’ve always respected of her is that she’s a minimalist and only does what is needed and works very hard to save teeth.
 
I'll regale everyone with my dental story. I went to the same dentist for several years because he was my father's cousin. He smoked like a chimney and frequently came into the exam room blowing smoke out of his face. Thankfully, he retired and I began seeing his nephew-in law who was a fantastic dentist. For over 30 years I had fantastic dental care and never once questioned anything he did.
Of course time passes and my dentist retires and he sold his practice to a couple of young guys. The office gets new leather chairs, the employees are all wearing blue tooth headsets and all the people over 30 are gone and my dental condition was terrible. I questioned why it was ok during the previous dentist and they blew it off that he was old and out of touch.
I finally found another dentist that I like and trust and although he is young, he takes the time to explain things and shows my what needs to be done to my teeth and most of all I trust him.
Oh, and the dentists that took over my prior dentists' office folded the office after running it into the ground and running off all of the patients.
 
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