Disturbing occurrence at my gym

[candrew]

As long as I can wish for anything, casting a spell of silence would have been my choice.

As long as we're wishing..... I'd wish that verbally abusive, obnoxious woman would have been surreptitiously recorded on video. I'd also wish that the video would end up going viral on the "Karens In The Wild" YouTube channel. Maybe her employer might have gotten wind of it, as well.

 

[Calico]

I am just wondering what the offending parties size had to do with your post.

There are many unpleasant people in this world. You can only control you.

I think the size of the person was intimidating in this circumstance.

 

[ElizabethT]

Yes, to approaching the scene as it unfolded, but that is because I despise bullies, and will find myself in motion to intercede before I even realize I'm in motion. It comes from my old brain reflexes, apparently, because it's not a conscious decision. Meaning, I don't give myself any pats on the back for it.

But what you and others did afterward was also perfect, as I'm sure the ones being verbally assaulted were left feeling more than a little traumatized. So on behalf of humanity, thank you for that!

 

[Car-Guy]

the manager wasn't there yesterday, and I watched/overheard with growing upset as a customer berated two young assistant managers for nearly 10 minutes by the clock.

The customer was a very large woman; about my height; twice my weight.

Maybe she was just upset becasue she recently lost her dog.

 

[youbet]

I am just wondering what the offending parties size had to do with your post.

Adds drama and excitement to the story! Reminded me of how the “bad guys” in the Charles Bronson “Death Wish” series of movies were portrayed.

I especially liked “her small eyes darting around the gym.” The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I read those words and I couldn’t help but suspect that the woman had an unlicensed 32 special in her bag or perhaps an AK-47 stashed in her car for quick retrieval. Picture this fat, small-eyed woman charging back into the gym, guns blazing, ending the lives of attractive, fit, quiet folks as they worked out their toned bodies!

I think it’s a safe guess that this small-eyed, fat woman doesn’t even LBYM, lives paycheck to paycheck and will start her SS at 62.

It’s clear that the woman’s stature and appearance vs that of the quiet and petite trainee-clerks is the key to the story. Amethyst’s wording and style leads the reader to experience the feelings Amethyst experienced. Well done Amethyst!

 

[Amethyst]

thanks, everybody. Seems clear that my instincts served me well in this case.

I do wish I'd just gone up and said, politely, "Hey, can you keep it down? We can hear you all the way in the back of the gym." Then walked away.

 

[Amethyst]

Yes. I was afraid of her, and felt instinctively protective toward the woman behind the desk, who was much smaller than I am.

I was taught that it is churlish for people to use attributes such as their size, strength, loud voices, and harsh words to domineer over others.

I think the size of the person was intimidating in this circumstance.

 

[Calico]

^^^^Exactly.

 

[audreyh1]

Absolutely, I would speak directly with the manager and strongly (but politely) advocate that this horrible woman be barred from the gym. Telling the manager that this woman's belligerent tirade made you feel extremely uncomfortable and unsafe should get his/her attention.

Yep, make sure the manager knows how badly the customer behaved. That’s the only thing I would do. It will at least counteract any vicious reporting from that customer.

 

[FindingForward]

Yep, make sure the manager knows how badly the customer behaved. That’s the only thing I would do. It will at least counteract any vicious reporting from that customer.

I agree with everyone - keep yourself safe by not challenging the jerk directly. But I am also BEYOND fed up with these increasingly common public tantrums and abuse of customer service workers. So few of these morons suffer any repercussions for acting like this.

So I would definitely have taken the path of posters that say to contact the manager afterwards by email or phone and request her membership be taken away due to safety reasons. There should be consequences for screaming at and intimidating people.

Same for those folks I see harassing other customers or employees in supermarkets, at Disney theme parks, in restaurants. If there were consequences for doing this, people may think twice - or at least not be rewarded for their behavior.

 

[pacergal]

I agree with everyone - keep yourself safe by not challenging the jerk directly. But I am also BEYOND fed up with these increasingly common public tantrums and abuse of customer service workers. So few of these morons suffer any repercussions for acting like this.

So I would definitely have taken the path of posters that say to contact the manager afterwards by email or phone and request her membership be taken away due to safety reasons. There should be consequences for screaming at and intimidating people.

Same for those folks I see harassing other customers or employees in supermarkets, at Disney theme parks, in restaurants. If there were consequences for doing this, people may think twice - or at least not be rewarded for their behavior.

Agree.
One thing I have done in the past, is to stand nearby and maintain eye contact if the person creating the disturbance looks over. It has worked in the grocery store and places like Target, especially if its a Mom yelling at her kids.
I have only ever had one Mom say something to me, but she did stop berating her kids, at least in public.
Nowadays, with all the increased crazies out there, not sure I would still do that. Have been mostly shopping on line for the past two years, so less people exposure.

 

[Amethyst]

I expect I'll see the manager this week. He is on the premises during weekdays.

It was lunchtime, so I'm sure he heard all about it the minute he got back. It would have been interesting to see how he handled her. He's pretty tough.

I agree with everyone - keep yourself safe by not challenging the jerk directly. But I am also BEYOND fed up with these increasingly common public tantrums and abuse of customer service workers. So few of these morons suffer any repercussions for acting like this.

So I would definitely have taken the path of posters that say to contact the manager afterwards by email or phone and request her membership be taken away due to safety reasons. There should be consequences for screaming at and intimidating people.

Same for those folks I see harassing other customers or employees in supermarkets, at Disney theme parks, in restaurants. If there were consequences for doing this, people may think twice - or at least not be rewarded for their behavior.

 

[youbet]

Somewhat off subject, but I can’t help but wonder why the petite, quiet-spoken, trainee counter attendant didn’t simply allow the fat, small-eyed woman and her child admittance despite her card not scanning correctly? Then refer the matter to the manager for resolution later? It was a completely avoidable situation.

I’m betting the manager modifies the training curriculum so the counter attendants are taken out of the path of irritated customers in situations like this. Why should a trainee counter attendant have to deal with a tacky situation involving irked customers being turned away because of a card scanning error?

 

[aja8888]

You're in FL, so intervening has a heightened risk. If the employees looked like they were handling it, good.

Curious as to why heightened risk for being in Florida?

 

[gattara]

I think you handled the situation well. Anything you said could have escalated the situation and people like her ... well, who knows what else she would have done. Seems she enjoyed an audience.

Maybe I'm just super sensitive, but I've witnessed a couple of episodes like this and it truly ruined my day, so I can only imagine how it affected those who were the direct targets of her ire. I really hate to see customer service folks (or anyone) treated in this manner.

 

[Amethyst]

I don't even know for sure that this was the issue. She wanted to use the gym; they couldn't admit her, for whatever reason.

If I had said the woman was a man, would you still object to the physical descriptions?

After all, my post is really about me, and how I felt at the time. I was honest about what I observed, and how it affected me.

I considered leaving out sexes and descriptions, but that would not have felt honest. Perhaps you never do find people who are larger and louder than you are, intimidating. In that case, I salute you.

Somewhat off subject, but I can’t help but wonder why the petite, quiet-spoken, trainee counter attendant didn’t simply allow the fat, small-eyed woman and her child admittance despite her card not scanning correctly? Then refer the matter to the manager for resolution later? I’m betting the manager modifies the training curriculum so the counter attendants are taken out of the path of irritated customers in situations like this. Why should a trainee counter attendant have to deal with a tacky situation involving irked customers being turned away because of a card scanning error?

 

[Markola]

On the upside, I learned a new word today. Thanks!


churlish - adjective

churl·​ish | \ ˈchər-lish \
Definition of churlish
1 : of, resembling, or characteristic of a churl : VULGAR
2 : marked by a lack of civility or graciousness : SURLY
he didn't like the churlish tone in his voice
— Margaret Truman
outrage is among your more churlish emotions
— Robert Goldsborough
It would be churlish not to congratulate her.
3 : difficult to work with or deal with : INTRACTABLE
churlish soil


Perhaps if you’d have let the woman know that she was being churlish, you’d at least have confused her!

 

[youbet]

If I had said the woman was a man, would you still object to the physical descriptions?

I didn’t say I objected to the physical descriptions. And I’m not sure I understand your question Amethyst. Are you saying the “woman” might have been a man in drag or a transvestite? In today’s world, I figure folks are whatever they say they are in terms of gender, ethnicity, etc.

After all, my post is really about me,

Yes, I read it that way.

Perhaps you never do find people who are larger and louder than you are, intimidating.

Or perhaps I do. I’m 74 years old and have developed some physical limitations. “Stand your ground” is no longer part of my life!

You’re a gifted writer.

I hope you aren’t exposed to scenarios such as this in the future.

 

[Chuckanut]

IMHO, if I worked in a job that required constant contact with the general public in a very open environment, I would take a self-defense course using some type of martial arts. At the very least I would want to know how to block a punch or kick, and then take the person down to the ground.

 

[Texas Proud]

Well at our gym if a card does not scan they can look it up in the computer... I have seen them do it a number of times... this tells me there was something else going on... like maybe she was not at the gym she pays for... my gym has a price for a single gym and another for any location...



Yesterday my card did not scan per the attendant... I scanned and started to go work out... the young lady asked me to scan again... I did not understand and asked what she wanted and she said it again... I was about to turn around and scan again when the computer processed my original scan and she said 'OH, your ok'....

 

[garyt]

Well at our gym if a card does not scan they can look it up in the computer... I have seen them do it a number of times... this tells me there was something else going on... like maybe she was not at the gym she pays for... my gym has a price for a single gym and another for any location...

Yea you dont even need your card at PF they'll just look up your name and check your DL. Sounds like this was what they were doing when the woman yelled "I want to workout NOW" maybe she just didn't want to wait the few minutes.

 

[Markola]

I’m sticking with “I’d call the cops” in the case of a belligerent customer who has crossed a certain line. See this story of yesterday’s double stabbing at MoMA when a patron was told his membership had expired.

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/new...f-modern-art-suspect-gary-cabana-wanted-nypd/

 

[youbet]

I’m sticking with “I’d call the cops” in the case of a belligerent customer who has crossed a certain line. See this story of yesterday’s double stabbing at MoMA when a patron was told his membership had expired.

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/new...f-modern-art-suspect-gary-cabana-wanted-nypd/

A sad case regardless Markola, but your retelling of the story contains misinformation. The perpetrator’s membership did not expire as you stated. Rather he arrived at the museum having received a letter revoking his membership due to “previous disturbances.” Big difference.

 

[friar1610]

Well at our gym if a card does not scan they can look it up in the computer... I have seen them do it a number of times... this tells me there was something else going on... like maybe she was not at the gym she pays for... my gym has a price for a single gym and another for any location...



Yesterday my card did not scan per the attendant... I scanned and started to go work out... the young lady asked me to scan again... I did not understand and asked what she wanted and she said it again... I was about to turn around and scan again when the computer processed my original scan and she said 'OH, your ok'....

At my (one location) gym, whenever my card didn’t scan it was because my membership had expired and I needed to “re-up” for another 6 months. Since I was a regular and known, the attendant just let me in and I took care of the renewal as I was leaving the gym post-workout.

 

[Markola]

A sad case regardless Markola, but your retelling of the story contains misinformation. The perpetrator’s membership did not expire as you stated. Rather he arrived at the museum having received a letter revoking his membership due to “previous disturbances.” Big difference.

Since you feel the need to correct me, I have to correct you.

“The reception desk is where police say Cabana, known to the employees because he's a regular visitor, became irate after he was denied entrance because his membership had expired.”

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/nypd-2-people-stabbing-inside-museum-of-modern-art/