DW is a horrible driver

[Tailgate]

... telling her so won't be constructive , so I'll just rant a little here if you don't mind.

the good: she hasn't totaled a car in 12 years.. (ran a red light and was t-boned, luckily with no injuries to either driver).
the bad: she rides the brakes, is tentative and indecisive, not assertive, hugs the right side of the lane...

Her driving skills were fine for the smaller town we lived in. Traffic was not a big problem. In the big city people drive so much more aggressively and if you don't drive a little more determined and engaged, you'll get in trouble. I don't mean that she should drive too aggressive, just with a little more enthusiasm.

I only ride with her when I must.

All this being said, she likewise thinks I'm a lousy driver I've encouraged her to wear a blindfold, but haven't been successful.

 

[Bamaman]

Mine scares the heck out of me and I am afraid form the grandkids to ride with her.

Sha refuses to use her mirrors and will not pass anyone running slower than her.

 

[aja8888]

Until DW had admitted she "couldn't see well" because of her cataracts, she banged up our NEW Santa Few four (yes, 4) times.

 

[FIREd]

Driverless cars will soon come to the rescue...

 

[braumeister]

You could look into something like this:
Driver Improvement Courses For Seniors

If you both signed up for it, then there wouldn't be any stigma attached to recommending it for her.

 

[ncbill]

Plus buying/leasing a new car with Level 2 automation
(forward collision warning w/ autonomous emergency braking, lane keep assist, etc.)

 

[tfudtuckerpucker]

 

[GalaxyBoy]

First of all, let's hope DW never sees this post!

I know what you mean; I could have written the OP. My DW is tentative as well. Now, I'm not saying we should pull out in front of people, speed, pass on the double line, etc. DW is so tentative she waits too long at stop signs to the point that the other drivers assume she's letting them go, then she pulls out and complains about the other driver cutting her off. I also threaten to blindfold her when I drive, too. But riding with her for over a quarter-century has taught me to keep my mouth shut.

Bless her heart!

 

[MichaelB]

You could look into something like this:
Driver Improvement Courses For Seniors

If you both signed up for it, then there wouldn't be any stigma attached to recommending it for her.

That's a smart idea.

 

[IMATERP]

... telling her so won't be constructive , so I'll just rant a little here if you don't mind.

the good: she hasn't totaled a car in 12 years.. (ran a red light and was t-boned, luckily with no injuries to either driver).
the bad: she rides the brakes, is tentative and indecisive, not assertive, hugs the right side of the lane...

Her driving skills were fine for the smaller town we lived in. Traffic was not a big problem. In the big city people drive so much more aggressively and if you don't drive a little more determined and engaged, you'll get in trouble. I don't mean that she should drive too aggressive, just with a little more enthusiasm.

I only ride with her when I must.

All this being said, she likewise thinks I'm a lousy driver I've encouraged her to wear a blindfold, but haven't been successful.

Lucky You! My wife totaled her 2009 turbo Jetta a little over two years ago. She ran into the back of a stopped school bus - while waiting at a light.

The only good thing that came out of this was she received a pretty high insurance reimbursement in conjunction with a $2,500 VW settlement due to their legal issues.

Our insurance premiums with the lizard doubled and fortunately another carrier picked us up without penalty. Outside of her having to go to w*rk, I try to do all of the driving.

I

 

[Bestwifeever]

You have my sympathy. DH has ADDD—attention deficit driving disorder—and loses focus if he sees a red winged blackbird or a pretty sunset, or heaven help us if a song comes on that he likes, which causes him to slow down down down until it’s over. He also doesn’t see a problem on a two-lane road to drive straddling the center if no one is coming—one memorable night he went a couple of miles in the oncoming lane waiting I guess for an oncoming car to show up and need it (I finally spoke up). He has never had an accident, though. Fortunately he doesn’t really like to drive so I do most of it.

I highly recommend a new car with assisted everything. And big rubber bumpers would be a nice invention just in case.

 

[Walt34]

You could look into something like this:
Driver Improvement Courses For Seniors

If you both signed up for it, then there wouldn't be any stigma attached to recommending it for her.

+1

I have offered the below linked class to DW as she also tends to be too slow and tentative. It is more aggressive than a solely classroom experience (you can use your car or theirs). There is of course some class time but there is time on the track as well. There is also skid training on a skid pad. From personal experience (at work we received annual driving classes) I know that is VERY useful. It goes far beyond spinning donuts on a snowy parking lot. The 5-minute video at the second link is worth watching.

Where I worked the most common cause of injury or death was traffic accidents simply because we spent so much time on the road. So the employer naturally made driver training a priority.

Accident Avoidance | Summit Point Motorsports Park

https://www.accidentavoidance.com/

Perhaps there is something like that near Tailgate?

 

[Midpack]

All this being said, she likewise thinks I'm a lousy driver I've encouraged her to wear a blindfold, but haven't been successful.

Same here.

I basically drive the speed limit or up to 5 mph more, but I’m always driving WAY too fast or WAY too slow - not sure how it can be both. She was fine with our driving until she had a serious accident about 10 years ago, she’s been very skittish in cars ever since. She always thinks I’m too close to other cars, guard rails, lane markers and she goes ape when we have to drive next to concrete barriers - I think her depth perception isn’t what it used to be. And she’s admitted she can’t see as well at night, so that compounds it all. But I love her all the same...

 

[Pilot2013]

Plus buying/leasing a new car with Level 2 automation
(forward collision warning w/ autonomous emergency braking, lane keep assist, etc.)

True story: I was driving wife's 2016 E350 on a trip (I hardly ever drive her car), and a car in front slammed on brakes. Our car beeped a couple of times, and assisted with braking until the other car was moving again and no danger. I said, "what was that beeping?", she said, " I don't know, it does that all the time!"

I looked it up in the owners manual later and determined it was Forward Collision Warning system. I didn't even know about it. Once I told her what it was, and she remembered/realized what she had said "...it does that all the time", we had a good 5 minute laugh.

 

[Car-Guy]

Her driving skills were fine for the smaller town we lived in. Traffic was not a big problem. In the big city people drive so much more aggressively and if you don't drive a little more determined and engaged, you'll get in trouble.

Sounds like you could live and/or drive in the Houston area. Possibly the worse (or at least the most aggressive drivers) I've ever seen.

 

[street]

I have to say my wife is a great driver. The thing is with me I trust my own driving over anyone else but that doesn't mean I'm a better driver then anyone else. I like to have control of the wheel. LOL

 

[zedd]

Well said.

The only thing I have to add is that the vehicle tends to go where the driver is looking. Perhaps OP's DW is focusing on the right shoulder to almost the exclusion of everything else.

Observed that my DW, an excellent driver, makes millions of course corrections in the span of a mile. She's obsessive about keeping the vehicle in the absolute center of the driving lane - jab of the wheel to the right, over correction to the left, etc., etc.

My driving style is more of picking a target in the center of the driving lane a quarter of a mile up the road. Steering is more of an imperceivable lean to port or starboard.

DW is near-sighted. I'm far-sighted. Just saying.

 

[Scrapr]

Bless her heart!

I see what you did there!

and I am shutting up. And i have the bruises on my right bicep to prove it

 

[gerntz]

Sha refuses to use her mirrors and will not pass anyone running slower than her.

How do you not pass someone running slower than you? Rear-end them?

 

[DanP]

Plus buying/leasing a new car with Level 2 automation
(forward collision warning w/ autonomous emergency braking, lane keep assist, etc.)

Unless a new car is out of the picture, this is the absolute best answer - it is not a luxury brand thing anymore at all, and the auto braking and lane assists are fantastic these days. Gentle steering widely available as well.

And if its the car beeping at the wife instead of me then I just stay quiet

 

[Morricol61]

I always prefer the seat with the steering wheel. His driving makes me nervous but I relax totally when I am driving. He taught me to drive nearly 40 years ago but I think he's too easily distracted, drives too aggressively and close to the vehicle in front. He even takes it personally when another driver passes him on the motorway and speeds up until he can pass them and get in front again. I tend to sit in the passenger seat applying the imaginary brakes and hoping he gets tired and wants me to drive. I even ask how he is feeling, is he getting drowsy. Desperate housewife.

 

[painterbill]

I always prefer the seat with the steering wheel. Her driving makes me nervous but I relax totally when I am driving.

In the mid 90's-mid 2000's I belong to an off road race team that primarily raced the Baja 1000 with most of my driving/co-driving duties during the nighttime hours. We raced at that time a two seat buggy with driver/co-driver and one of the quirky rules of "physics" that we always talked about (sometimes mid-race running parallel to a steep drop off/cliff) was how the passenger seat always travels 10-15 mph faster than the drivers seat. I have never been a good passenger so I tend to do most of the driving duties with the DW but when she drives I try my hardest to be a good passenger and not a co-driver. I imagine the new safety technology(lane assist, collision avoidance, etc) is in our not too distant future.

 

[folivier]

I'm not an aggressive driver....the only problem I have is all the darn slow people that won't get out of my way!!

 

[grasshopper]

He also doesn’t see a problem on a two-lane road to drive straddling the center if no one is coming—one memorable night he went a couple of miles in the oncoming lane waiting I guess for an oncoming car to show up and need it (I finally spoke up). He has never had an accident, though. Fortunately he doesn’t really like to drive so I do most of it.

My name is grasshopper I am a center line straddler. I drive miles and miles like this. it gives me a half a second of warning when some critter bolts from the side of the road. Or so I tell Ms g.

 

[ERD50]

I find that many drivers are not aggressive enough. Sometimes, avoiding an accident isn't a matter of hitting the brakes, you might want to take aggressive action to get out of the way. Including hitting the horn, which I find many people seem afraid to do.

I've avoided being rear-ended by hitting the horn, looking both ways, and flooring it right through the red light. I'd rather explain it to the cop/judge than deal with the accident.

And another time, in a parking garage, someone stopped ahead of me, and just started backing up to be able to turn left instead of right, and almost backed into me. Again, I was quick enough on the horn, and (knowing no one was behind me) throwing it in reverse and quickly backing up 10 feet.

I know for sure that in each case, DW (and many other drivers I know), would just freeze and gasp.

You should always keep that "mental diary" going, and look for ways out of potential accidents as you drive. It keeps you aware/alert, and might save your life, or at least a trip to the body shop.

-ERD50