Sorry to hear. My situation:
Divorced one year ago. Cost me 7 figures + 8 years alimony and 13 years child support.
Immediately felt relief to be out of hopeless marriage.
Met my current girlfriend 5 months later. We just hit 7 month anniversary. Wasn't looking for love, but I guess that's when we tend to find it unexpectedly. Had the talk with new girl that I don't want to ever be legally married, but at some point I'd be willing to provide the security of marriage, i.e. some sort of financial arrangement. Reason for this is I had prenup AND postnup with ex, and ex's lawyers immediately started looking for loopholes in those docs.
Currently friendly with ex and we are co-parenting much better than when we were married. I do a lot of " goodwill-building" by helping her fix her internet, change lightbulbs, hang pictures, etc.
Advice: the lawyers are in it for a "win" but you'll be tied to the ex via the kids for decades. Therefore, know when to end a fight and give in so you can move toward a functional and amicable relationship with her once the immediate angers dissipates. Friends are now seeking me out to mediate their divorces based on this model of not trying to destroy each other.
Best of luck. You're not alone.
Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
Divorced one year ago. Cost me 7 figures + 8 years alimony and 13 years child support.
Immediately felt relief to be out of hopeless marriage.
Met my current girlfriend 5 months later. We just hit 7 month anniversary. Wasn't looking for love, but I guess that's when we tend to find it unexpectedly. Had the talk with new girl that I don't want to ever be legally married, but at some point I'd be willing to provide the security of marriage, i.e. some sort of financial arrangement. Reason for this is I had prenup AND postnup with ex, and ex's lawyers immediately started looking for loopholes in those docs.
Currently friendly with ex and we are co-parenting much better than when we were married. I do a lot of " goodwill-building" by helping her fix her internet, change lightbulbs, hang pictures, etc.
Advice: the lawyers are in it for a "win" but you'll be tied to the ex via the kids for decades. Therefore, know when to end a fight and give in so you can move toward a functional and amicable relationship with her once the immediate angers dissipates. Friends are now seeking me out to mediate their divorces based on this model of not trying to destroy each other.
Best of luck. You're not alone.
Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum