This thread has brought back all kinds of fond memories. NOT.
My spouse observed the other day that I say "G**-d****t" in exactly the same intonation & emphasis as my father, especially when I've just hit my head on something. So I guess I really was paying attention all those years.
Near Christmastime my mother used to regularly threaten to phone in a SITREP to Santa at the North Pole. The one time she actually had to pick up the phone and make the call, I thought my brother and I were going to die of fright & juvenile remorse. Years later we were told that the effect lasted until February.
Other favorites:
Mom: "Stop that or I'll give you something to REALLY cry about!"
Dad: "Stop hopping around like that or I'll nail the other foot to the floor!"
I think he was bluffing but we weren't going to be the first to find out.
Another Dad favorite: "But you just went 20 minutes ago!!?"
On long trips we'd eternally be pestering him to make the car's A/C hotter or colder. He'd wave his fingers over the thermostat and the fan controls (changing nothing) and say "Wait a minute to let it catch up". A bit later he'd say "How is it now?" We almost always answered "Fine, thanks!" and I was in my 30s before he told us that story.
Our kid is 14 years old and has never been on a car trip of greater than 60 miles. She thinks the following are hilarious:
"Are we there yet?"
"She's looking at me!"
"He's touching my side of the car!"
"She's making faces at me!"
"Dad, I hear a siren! What's that flashing red light for on the car behind us?"
"I have to go!"
"Are we there yet?"
"I'm hungry again!"
"Oh, I have to go to the bathroom again..."
"Are we there yet?"