Feeling guilty about early Retirement?

[John Galt III]

One of my aunts said something to me about early retirement that lessened my Protestant Work Ethic guilt, which was "when you retire you will be allowing someone else to take your job, who may actually want it".

 

[FlaGator]

No guilt here. I was fortunate to have the career that I did and a supportive wife.

But......

Being involved with the activities of my school age kids, most of my social circle consists of working parents younger than me. Have found being humble and discreet about my circumstances is a useful "social lubricant"

 

[Cap_Scarlet]

Yes, partially.

1. I wonder whether I am setting the right role model for the children why may have to work longer that me before they can retire.

2. I wonder whether I am disappointing people at work who want me to stay.

3. I wonder whether I will just "waste" my life watching TV or staring out of the window.

But.....then I think...

1. The kids have enough money (big chunk from an inheritance).

2. Once I have been gone for a month people at work will struggle to remember my name.

3. Who cares?

So in retirement I will "work" at managing to hold onto the couple of million that we have worked so hard to accumulate.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

Feel guilty? Heck no. I got away from people I didn't like and my time became my own.

 

[Nemo2]

Once I have been gone for a month people at work will struggle to remember my name.

+1

How often have you seen people whose self perception leads them to believe that they are invaluable, and that the company will fall apart if they're not there........then they leave, someone else picks up the slack, and life goes on.

 

[Red Badger]

Would you feel so guilty if you knew you were going to die at 52?

Nothing is guaranteed us.

Enjoy life now.

+1.

Our days on this rock are finite and unknown. Retiring next month at 60. By many measures on this forum, I'm late. Also, our modest portfolio would look to some here like some sort of "rounding error." What does matter for me is to spend some remaining quality years with my DW, doing what we want, and on our terms.

Only slightly guilty of not having learned/sought FI earlier.

Good luck!

 

[Racer X]

No guilt here. I was fortunate to have the career that I did and a supportive wife.

But......

Being involved with the activities of my school age kids, most of my social circle consists of working parents younger than me. Have found being humble and discreet about my circumstances is a useful "social lubricant"

I agree with this. I don't feel any guilt. After all, I worked hard, saved, was smart about my investments... as others have stated - I've done nothing wrong. But I do see friends and colleagues who are in tough situations - some of their own doing, some not - and laying low about my ER is a go to strategy for dealing with them.

 

[HadEnuff]

No. If you are satisfying your obligations to paying your own bills, not walking away from unpaid debts, not relying on others to foot your expenses, why should you feel guilty?

I didn't retire until I was 63, but the last 20 years or so I only worked 3 days/week, and took 8-10 weeks of vacation per year. I never felt guilty about not condemning myself to a 40hour (or more) workweek. Other people gave me some good-natured ribbing (at least I chose to take it that way), but I never for a moment felt guilty about it.

If you feel like someone is trying to make you feel guilty about your decision, my advice is to suck it up, and remember why God gave you two middle fingers.

 

[RetireAge50]

Nope, happy.

 

[rayinpenn]

So no, I don't feel guilty. I mostly feel blessed.

Bravo!

 

[Which Roger]

The guilt question has the implication that when one is being paid to work, he/she is doing more good for society than when retired. I don't think that's the case for myself, or for many other retirees.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Did I feel guilty about retiring early? No friggin way! I retired in late 2008 at age 45 and I'm damn proud of it. It is by far my life's biggest achievement.

I'm in this camp. I am quite proud of my accomplishment but like other worthy accomplishments, I don't really discuss them outside my circle of very close friends and family. As far as my acquaintances are concerned, I w*rk from home doing something aviation related. If asked specifically what I do, I just tell them that it's not interesting enough to explain. The blue hairs at the HOA meetings are really the only ones who are particularly nosey about my line of w*rk.

And guilt? I am feeling a little guilty in that I should be mowing the grass but instead I'm enjoying some delicious coffee and farting around on the interwebs. But certainly not about being FIREd.

 

[euro]

No.

To elaborate slightly:

Never.

+1. 'Nuff said

 

[travelover]

I don't feel guilty. I paid good money for that lottery ticket, same as anyone.

 

[Danmar]

Guilty? Why? Because you planned ahead, reduced current consumption, invested wisely? There are better things to feel guilty about such as being born in such a great country, having parents that nurtured you, having good health. These are things largely beyond your control and could cause some feeling of guilt, or at least simpathy for those less fortunate.

Now, I'm such an insensitive guy that I wouldn't feel guilty for hardly anything.

 

[6miths]

There were people who could do what I did day to day. Perhaps not as well of course

In many ways I think I am having more of an impact in doing the things I am in retirement to keep me sharp.

 

[Maenad]

One of my aunts said something to me about early retirement that lessened my Protestant Work Ethic guilt, which was "when you retire you will be allowing someone else to take your job, who may actually want it".

My parents said this same thing. I think a lot of the guilt people feel over ER is either 1) Protestant Work Ethic, or 2) seeing people you care about being stuck on the treadmill.

The Protestant Work Ethic is something that our society has forced into the "paying job" mode, but it doesn't need to be satisfied only with a career/job. If you're feeling guilt because of this, sit down and have a little chat with your guilt. You may be able to fulfill the Work Ethic with other good works. This doesn't mean that you should fill your retirement with slaving away for others, just that there may be something you can do that genuinely meets a need to feel useful. Your job doesn't/didn't necessarily do this!

Seeing people you care about stuck on the treadmill is a more complicated thing. If they're genuinely hard-working, but haven't had the opportunities you've had, are there ways you can help them? If they've chosen to spend at or above their means, you may need to remind yourself that they're adults who made those choices due to their own cost/benefit analyses, and resolve to be there for them to give advice if they ask for it in the future.

If anyone is trying to guilt-trip you, however, tell them to take a long walk off a short pier.

Lastly, all of us who've been able to save a lot of money have inherited lucky genes, in any number of ways (and have had other random good luck in life events). There's nothing wrong with acknowledging this and it's nothing to be ashamed of, it just is. It also exists alongside the hard work you've put in, and doesn't lessen the pride you should take in your hard work.

 

[T-Minus]

No guilt here. I've worked and saved steadily since before my 16th birthday and have only enjoyed a handful of 2-week breaks (off to college, college graduation, honeymoon, time between job#2 and #3). Combine 40+ years work with a lifetime of frugality and saving (car camping vacations, purchase and renovation of a foreclosed home as our primary residence, older or free vehicles, etc), and we're now in position to FIRE at age 57. To anybody who asks, I have earned this.

 

[WithAPurpose]

I know the guilt... I am 44 and FI. I have cut back my work schedule to 4 days /week. DH is 58 and just retired this year. I golfed with a girl that said she was too young at 48 to retire, she'd do it in another 10 years. It is certainly expected that no 44-year old could 'retire'. But that's not what stops me. At 44 I have the same thoughts posted by many others. I'm not worried about what others think of me or my choices. I feel guilty about not contributing after I leave my day-job. NO matter that my day-job is replaceable by any H1-B visa holder and is not high on the societal value scale. I just feel like I can work more, and that's society's 'right' answer: work as long as you can, not only-as-long-as-you-have-to. That's what I have to get over. It's not guilt, it's failing to meet the expectations that society sets (or is the norm). And having heard it a lot, it's hard to overcome. But thanks to this conversation, I've learn one more thing: No one that responded feels guilty about it after they retire. Once you take the action, you get past those feelings, or maybe you realize how good it is, that any guilt is washed away by your own satisfaction. One more reason to make this my last year at work.

 

[googily]

I know that when I do pull the trigger, most people will think that it's only because I inherited DH's money. But if he hadn't gotten sick, we would have been RE'ed this year. So there was already enough for both of us to stop working. But it's not like I'm going to explain that to anyone, because it's none of their business.

But I may not exactly shout to the world that I've "retired." When I leave this job, it'll be seen as not much of a surprise after DH's death. I'll probably then spend a few years saying that I'm "taking some time for myself." Few people will argue with that.

 

[Nature Lover]

No guilt here. Blessed to not have faced any financial catastrophes outside of my control, so far. Beyond that, I chose a lifestyle that included living well ...just not expensively compared to my income, and stuck with it long enough that I can live well without working anymore.

Others with similar (or lesser) incomes chose greater obligations, more vacations or international travel, or nicer "things". There's no right or wrong choice here...just different choices. Many people choose to spend more and have more or nicer things, to enjoy them when younger...in exchange for the possibility (in many cases, probability) of needing to work longer.

I chose to pursue financial self-sufficiency and succeeded; and this gave me options. I'm grateful and feel fortunate, definitely. But I don't feel guilt.

 

[candrew]

Tomorrow is my 6 month E.R. anniversary. I stopped in to visit some of my long time w*rk colleagues at the old salt mine last week.

After listening to their war stories about what has transpired over the last 6 months I admit to occasionally experiencing a bit of survivor's guilt when reflecting upon what they must continue to endure. At the same time, I am extremely thankful for every single day of E.R. Just being able to spend time with our new, 3 month old infant granddaughter makes whatever sacrifices were necessary well worth the effort! It is only because of E.R. that DW & I have been able to experience extended travel and adventures together and we will continue to do so. At the end of the day, I feel more a sense of gratitude than guilt.

 

[97guns]

Tomorrow is my 6 month E.R. anniversary. I stopped in to visit some of my long time w*rk colleagues at the old salt mine last week.

After listening to their war stories about what has transpired over the last 6 months I admit to occasionally experiencing a bit of survivor's guilt when reflecting upon what they must continue to endure. At the same time, I am extremely thankful for every single day of E.R. Just being able to spend time with our new, 3 month old infant granddaughter makes whatever sacrifices were necessary well worth the effort! It is only because of E.R. that DW & I have been able to experience extended travel and adventures together and we will continue to do so. At the end of the day, I feel more a sense of gratitude than guilt.

The sorry saps I used to work with are still there too but I've never gone back to see anyone, they would probably just view me as a big blow hard. Most of the guys couldn't even afford to take a day off work, missing 1 day would throw a serious wrench into their monthly budget

 

[candrew]

The sorry saps I used to work with are still there too but I've never gone back to see anyone, they would probably just view me as a big blow hard. Most of the guys couldn't even afford to take a day off work, missing 1 day would throw a serious wrench into their monthly budget

It sounds as though you and I may have had a different sort of w*rk life. My former colleagues are individuals that I have known for decades and for whom I have the utmost respect. We had a great esprit de corps. All of them were genuinely happy for my being able to retire early though a couple admitted a bit of envy on their parts ).

 

[Rdub]

I am retiring on Friday at 47. I don't feel guilty, but I do try to downplay it a little. More like I am trying to be humble and not come across that I am bragging or rubbing it in. I've worked since I was 13, maxed my 401ks since I graduated college and have lived way below my means while moving up the corporate ladder.

By far the biggest question nearly everyone has is, what will I do with all my free time. I just tell them that if they haven't thought about it, they should start making a list of everything they used to enjoy doing when they were younger, what they enjoy doing now and things they have thought about doing, but never had the time. If they press further, I just ask them if they won the lottery, what would they do.