Hi all! I (M31) have been FIREd for 2 years now. As soon as I reached my financial goal, I quit my corporate job and have moved back to my home country. Before making this major life shift, I had a whole list of things that I wanted to do with my free time, such as enrolling into a graduate school, be more physically active, travel more - simply enjoying the life.
However, for quite some time now I have found myself in some kind of a "mental vacuum" where I don't have a motivation to go out and enjoy things. I actually started with a graduate school, but I have soon after quit it due to the lack of motivation and under the excuse that I will not go to the corporate world again, hence there is no need for me to study more. Also, I am not as physically active as I wanted to be. Simply put, I have a lot of free time, but I have a feeling I am not using in a quality way. Another thing is that I am not getting as excited about the things as I used to be - activities that I was thrilled about before, like travelling, going to sports games, etc. - everything became kind of "plain vanilla". The dream of getting FIREd was something I had been going to bed and waking up with, I was so much in the zone to reach that state that it was obssessing me, but once I reached it I feel my life got so empty and I can't say that I am the happier than before when I was a corporate worm.
I feel like I need some kind of responsibility in my life that will occupy my time. It doesn't need to be anything of a financial nature, just simply something that will get me out of my comfort zone and get me excited agaon.
I would be pleased to know if any of you have gone through such phases and how did you cope with the lack of motivation, and also how did you find ways to get excited again. Thank you all!
I can identify at your age dreaming of retiring. When I was around your age I was already creating retirement models and the prospect seemed like it would be wonderful. I had only the corporate world of work and much of the dissatisfying aspects of it.
I got laid off mid 30s, took about 5 months to find a new job, and it changed my perspective a bit. I took a trip, learned to play golf (not very well) and a few other things. It really felt great. But it wasn’t long before I realized it wasn’t self sustaining.
I worked various jobs for a couple of decades afterwards. Some better than others. About half of the time I contracted, which on balance I greatly preferred, usually less than 40 hours a week. But the whole time my perspective was different, I didn’t have this longing to retire that I did mid 30s, whether or not I liked the job.
I’m 60 now, retired, I think , but could work future contracts. I understand also the motivation thing, all those things that seemed wonderful don’t seem as wonderful when you have time to do them. I do have some things revolving around adult children that keep me busy part of the time but there is also dead time.
In can’t imagine working a career 10 years or less and then retiring for 60 years. You need something to give you purpose. Perhaps volunteer work, but to me that would have been just another job. I would suggest trying to find a job that you like, less about money, that has more flexibility in terms of hours and lifestyle. That may be easier said than done, but you aren't in any hurry.
My observation about most in retirement, here and other boards, are primarily content with just being. Take a vacation or two, and putter with various household chores, light volunteer work, etc. Most people on these boards say that is great and they love it. That’s kind of what I’m doing and for me it is only modestly satisfying. But it would be difficult to imagine a 31 year old being content with that for decades.
As to being a full time parent to young children - some people thrive on that. At times I did it part time with contract jobs with my wife. Whether it in itself is self sustaining depends on the person. It wasn’t for me or my wife. A lot of raising kids is just being around and taking them places. You aren’t interacting with them most of the time.
Hopefully you figure it out. Good luck.