For the retired introverts

[Dash man]

introvert/extrovert is just a label you put on yourself. Don't let it define you. I use to think I was an introvert but after retiring I have so much more energy and opportunities to be sociable. Once you have a few positive experiences it just grows on itself. When you're retired you can be anything you want.

In my experiences extroverts always tell this to introverts.


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[Ally]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful answers. I am so pleased to know others feel the same way when working and and that retirement relieves these feelings. I will read Quiet soon and the link above to the past thread.

I do love that I'm making a difference for needy families in my job. However, so many days, I have to psyche myself up in the mornings and tell myself it's an acting job. "Today at our event, I will act the part of an outgoing, gracious extrovert and keep a smile on my face, not my anxious face." Then I go home exhausted from keeping up the facade. But there is some satisfaction in knowing we raised lots of money, or educated a group.

This is such a great group of people for giving feedback.


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[ChicagoGal]

I'm reading the book "Quiet" right now and it's got some great insights on how our culture forces introverts to behave as extroverts for professional reasons.

I'm about halfway through this now, and am finding it fascinating, especially the parts about high sensitivity. Explains a lot about the dissatisfaction / discomfort I'm feeling in our "open pen" office environment. Can't wait for ER!

 

[Ally]

The company Christmas party is tomorrow night...I declined. I was at our #2 headquarters, out of state, the past three days and THEIR party was on Tuesday night...I declined. I'm an introvert who'd rather watch a Forensic Files rerun back at the motel (or an American Greed rerun at home), than enhance a career by being around the same 20 or 30 people with whom I just spent the past 8 hours.



That said, an introvert can retire on a lot less money. Get up at 9, make a pot of store-bought coffee (Snobbucks is wasted on me), watch the news, take a walk, do some housekeeping, fix something, take another walk, make a pitcher of vodka slushy, watch TV and crash at midnight.



Can hardly wait.

Lucky you for having the ability to opt out! We had 124 at our party last week and I had to plan it and speak at it.


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[HFWR]

Stage fright is not limited to introverts...

I'm not anti-social, but my limit for big crowds is about two hours, after which I'm ready for peace and quiet...

 

[Walt34]

Being new at ER, I have come to realize I'm too relaxed, I have things to do and I'm not doing them. Even though I have much more time available.
Its nice, but not productive.

That used to trouble me a little bit too, but then I realized "Who says I have to be productive?" And "What for?"

Isn't that the whole point of retirement, to be able to do, or not do, whatever you want when you want to?

So not being productive doesn't bother me a bit.

 

[Focus]

The company Christmas party is tomorrow night...I declined. I was at our #2 headquarters, out of state, the past three days and THEIR party was on Tuesday night...I declined. I'm an introvert who'd rather watch a Forensic Files rerun back at the motel (or an American Greed rerun at home), than enhance a career by being around the same 20 or 30 people with whom I just spent the past 8 hours.

I hear ya. At a certain point, I let it be known that I didn't enjoy attending events like these. It raised a few eyebrows and gave me an unsocial tag, but it ultimately had no effect on my career.

As scrabbler1 mentioned, it is nice to go to the grocery and do things on a weekday. less people and not too hectic. as an introvert, it was great. I did it when I took a 2 week vacation but just stayed home, Doing chores, going to the grocery and gym, caught episodes of TV shows I missed and just went around. It was one of the most relaxing time I ever had. Never got bored for a minute...however, it was only for 2 weeks...wonder if I will still feel the same way if RE.

I think you will. I wondered too. I don't anymore.

That used to trouble me a little bit too, but then I realized "Who says I have to be productive?" And "What for?"

Isn't that the whole point of retirement, to be able to do, or not do, whatever you want when you want to?

So not being productive doesn't bother me a bit.

It's a societal expectation, particularly in the U.S., where, in a variation on the famous philosophical statement, the theme is: "I'm productive, therefore I am." Once you RE, it's "I am, therefore I am." You can choose to be productive (in myriad ways) ... or not.

 

[Calico]

The company Christmas party is tomorrow night...I declined. I was at our #2 headquarters, out of state, the past three days and THEIR party was on Tuesday night...I declined. I'm an introvert who'd rather watch a Forensic Files rerun back at the motel (or an American Greed rerun at home), than enhance a career by being around the same 20 or 30 people with whom I just spent the past 8 hours.

That said, an introvert can retire on a lot less money. Get up at 9, make a pot of store-bought coffee (Snobbucks is wasted on me), watch the news, take a walk, do some housekeeping, fix something, take another walk, make a pitcher of vodka slushy, watch TV and crash at midnight.

Can hardly wait.

Our company holiday luncheon is tomorrow. I am taking the entire day as vacation time to avoid it. Second year in a row I've done this. I've decided to make this my new holiday tradition!

 

[Calico]

In my experiences extroverts always tell this to introverts.


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You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[Calico]

I'm about halfway through this now, and am finding it fascinating, especially the parts about high sensitivity. Explains a lot about the dissatisfaction / discomfort I'm feeling in our "open pen" office environment. Can't wait for ER!

When I was reading the parts about high sensitivity individuals I wondered when the author had climbed inside my head. I recognized myself over and over in that book.

Just hearing the words "open pen" makes me cringe. I fear that my workplace is headed in that direction, but with any luck, I will get out before it is implemented. They usually talk an idea to death before doing anything, and in this case that would be a plus!

 

[Texconsin]

Lucky you for having the ability to opt out! We had 124 at our party last week and I had to plan it and speak at it.

The CEO always wants me to auctioneer. My dad was one of the best, so I used a vacation back in the 80's to go to the same school. But it takes lots of practice and experience to be great (graduating third behind a couple guys who were doing it for a living while I worked for a CPA firm did not). I made the mistake at the first Christmas party to take over an auction that was going nowhere and drove the CEO for a day bid over $300. So, I'm the resident Colonel.

But, believe me, opting out of a company Christmas party is NOT a good career move. (Getting really drunk and losing lunch in the parking lot is even worse...cost a woman her job a couple years ago.)

 

[Walt34]

But, believe me, opting out of a company Christmas party is NOT a good career move.

I've heard that of other places too. So glad that wasn't the case where I worked! If I didn't show I doubt if anyone noticed or cared but that was local (county) government, not a business.

Can you elaborate on why it is so important in that environment?

 

[CoolChange]

I've heard that of other places too. So glad that wasn't the case where I worked! If I didn't show I doubt if anyone noticed or cared but that was local (county) government, not a business.

Can you elaborate on why it is so important in that environment?

My experience: When other factors are equal, it is better to be chummy (drinking buddies, socializing at parties, attending sporting events, etc.) with the folks making decisions on promotions, layoffs, sweet assignments, bonuses, etc.

Many years ago, I actually had an IT director tell me that he would rather work with someone he liked who wasn't quite as good because we spent too many hours in the office. Frankly, I think I am at the other extreme: I would much rather work with a hermit who was really good at their job.

The technology always came relatively easy for me; the socializing was far more work but has likely been at least as financially rewarding over the years.

 

[Walt34]

Many years ago, I actually had an IT director tell me that he would rather work with someone he liked who wasn't quite as good because we spent too many hours in the office. Frankly, I think I am at the other extreme: I would much rather work with a hermit who was really good at their job.

That makes sense then with different personalities. Someone on the board here mentioned that they liked having an introvert on staff. Give him/her an assignment and leave 'em alone, they go down the hall and a day or three later they come back with a well-thought-out solution. No muss, no fuss, no drama.

So much then depends on the personalities fitting well.

 

[Ronstar]

I had to give a lot of presentations in the middle years of my career and it drove me nuts. Then we hired people to handle those, and I was allowed to generally work on my own. Luckily I had a few experienced support staff that could handle things with little supervision. My last 10 years of work were perfect for me being an introvert. And retirement is essentially the same. I go weeks without having to deal with anyone other than family and a few friends. It's great.


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[freebird5825]

Stage fright is not limited to introverts...

I'm not anti-social, but my limit for big crowds is about two hours, after which I'm ready for peace and quiet...

I've been a lifetime extrovert, achiever, traveler, event organizer, party girl, crowd lover since the age of 15. I thrived on the excitement of new things.

But lately I am discovering that I am morphing into a peace and quiet type. I am getting "peopled out" also. Human behavior in public is not what it used to be. It is often confusing to me why people react so intensely to what I view as low anxiety situations.
The rude exchanges that I witness between people is beyond my comprehension. I wasn't raised to act that way, in fact quite the opposite.

I think I am simply choosing to tune out the noise by not being there. Either that or FIRE has mellowed me out so much any kind of group gathering stimulus is oversaturating me.

I just hope I do not go completely anti-social.

 

[rodi]

I'm about halfway through this now, and am finding it fascinating, especially the parts about high sensitivity. Explains a lot about the dissatisfaction / discomfort I'm feeling in our "open pen" office environment. Can't wait for ER!

My employer was moving more towards a more open office/shared workspace environment. But our group was moved to an unrenovated area - with shared offices, and single person cubes. My grade suggested I would be in a shared office - but I specifically asked for a private cube.... with a window.

I think I would have quit/retired much sooner if I hadn't made that request and had it granted. I definitely needed space of my own to think/concentrate at work.

 

[foxfirev5]

Only 1 more large group presentation before ER! One hour in front of 200 people and I'm done for the day.

 

[LitGal]

I have to psyche myself up in the mornings and tell myself it's an acting job. "Today at our event, I will act the part of an outgoing, gracious extrovert and keep a smile on my face, not my anxious face." Then I go home exhausted from keeping up the facade.

In my little part-time job, mentoring new teachers, it's been helpful to use this comparison (especially with any who had taken a drama class or performed in music or theater).

Using my own experience, I encourage them to think about each class as a performance of their "show for the day." If they teach 5 classes, it's a "5-gig" day.

Those who do it agree: it works. Come "hell or high water," fire drills or disaster drills-- whatever happens-- "the show must go on." Insisting on keeping the whole class on board, together, helping them all get through the day's lesson plan fosters good discipline not just for the kids, but also for the teacher.

(And viewing the job as the day's "show" would keep me moving forward, no matter what was going on in my personal life. It seems to help the new teachers focus, too.)

Those acting classes came in handier than I ever expected......

 

[Huston55]

I've been a lifetime extrovert, achiever, traveler, event organizer, guy looking for a party girl, crowd lover since the age of 15. I thrived on the excitement of new things.

But lately I am discovering that I am morphing into a peace and quiet type. I am getting "peopled out" also. Human behavior in public is not what it used to be. It is often confusing to me why people react so intensely to what I view as low anxiety situations.
The rude exchanges that I witness between people is beyond my comprehension. I wasn't raised to act that way, in fact quite the opposite.

I think I am simply choosing to tune out the noise by not being there. Either that or FIRE has mellowed me out so much any kind of group gathering stimulus is oversaturating me.

I just hope I do not go completely anti-social.

I've found myself moving in the same direction - personality wise. For me, it seems to have more to do with aging than FIRE. A MB test 30 yrs ago indicated me as a strong ESTJ (strong on the E), then another about 14 yrs ago indicated me again as an ESTJ (but, weak on the E; almost right on the border).

I have to say that I've also noticed this myself as time has gone by. I don't get the same energy from crowds that I used to. I still very much like small groups of friends but, find more than a couple hours with groups of new people to ususally be work. The STJ seem to still be going strong. I still love experiencing new things but, that's more the "S" than the "E."

 

[freebird5825]

I've found myself moving in the same direction - personality wise. For me, it seems to have more to do with aging than FIRE. A MB test 30 yrs ago indicated me as a strong ESTJ (strong on the E), then another about 14 yrs ago indicated me again as an ESTJ (but, weak on the E; almost right on the border).

I have to say that I've also noticed this myself as time has gone by. I don't get the same energy from crowds that I used to. I still very much like small groups of friends but, find more than a couple hours with groups of new people to ususally be work. The STJ seem to still be going strong. I still love experiencing new things but, that's more the "S" than the "E."

I was also typified as a strong ESTJ in the BM test back in my early 30s, two decades ago. It was accurate at the time.
I'm not exactly sure why I am changing from a strong E, but I'll go with the flow, I guess. Yay FIRE !!!!

 

[John Galt III]

I'm about halfway through this now, and am finding it fascinating, especially the parts about high sensitivity. Explains a lot about the dissatisfaction / discomfort I'm feeling in our "open pen" office environment. Can't wait for ER!

They did the "open pen" thing on us back at Megacorp. They hyped it as creating "synergy". We did actually end up with about one third the employees forced into the "open office environment" areas, but luckily I escaped it. I think all the executives knew it was about "doing something" (anything) to appear to be concerned about productivity. They call it the "Hawthorne effect". Make any change at all to the work environment, hype it to the workers as "productivity- improving" and the workers will become more productive, supposedly.

 

[Options]

Only recently did I admit to myself that I am bassi ally a shy person. It's the strangest thing because I was actually extremely extroverted in my 20's. The "anxious face I completely identify with. While extremely comfortable with a few close to me, the older I get the more painful socializing becomes. While my own social acting ability surprises me, I'm know people can tell I'm nervous. OTOH, I really don't care, either.

 

[Hermit]

Life at the top of the mountains "ain't that bad." The quiet, solitude, and magnificent views have their value. Being out under the stars almost every night is wonderful.

Hermit

 

[LitGal]

Life at the top of the mountains "ain't that bad." The quiet, solitude, and magnificent views have their value. Being out under the stars almost every night is wonderful.

Hermit

+1 !