Growing aversion to scheduling?

[ArkTinkerer]

I don't know if it is increasing stress from other areas of life or just growing into a curmudgeon, but I find I am becoming increasingly hostile to any sort of scheduling involving dates/times. I feel most other people don't honor such commitments and I am left being the one to adjust to their needs or, more often, whims. I admit some of this is due to my trying to construct a shop building and being at the mercy of the fickle weather which has been miserably wet for almost a year but still being bound by permit time limits which don't care about weather or contractors failing to show. Still this feeling is growing to the point I don't want to schedule theater tickets or even medical appointments. I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I got fed up with schedules before I FIREd. To me this was one of the big things I was looking forward to in retirement. Anyone else relate? What have you done to keep yourself from being scheduled in by outside forces?

 

[steelyman]

I can relate. But I think the lack of scheduling of work-related things is one of the great bonuses of retirement.

Scheduling now mostly means things being scheduled for my, not my employer’s, benefit. Things like health checkups, repairs, etc.

It’s sometimes annoying when you run into chronic lateness in informal/social activities but for that you can just make a mental note and, if it really is chronic, repeated behavior, just decline until the pattern changes (if it does).

 

[mystang52]

Alas, there's really no choice in scheduling at least some things. I also like a freewheeling lifestyle. Realistically, though, I need to keep track of doctor appointments and other hard-scheduled items (I attend quite a few lectures) lest I decide on a spur of the moment activity and miss an appointment.

 

[SumDay]

Before I retired, my life was controlled by my Outlook calendar and endless global conference calls. The "being on" 7+ hours a day was really wearing on me.

I hear ya! I think twice before I even schedule a doctor appointment now. And buying concert tickets a month or two out gives me the willies. I'm hoping this passes.

I still HATE to talk on the phone, and probably always will.

 

[kcowan]

I still HATE to talk on the phone, and probably always will.

DW will always text rather than talk. I yearn for the day when support lines revert to text or chat sessions. In a recent dispute regarding coverage with my health insurer, I was able to start the chat session by providing the transcript from the last one.

When we return from snowbirding, the first 6 weeks is always a succession of appointments with various medical practitioners. All phone addicts.

 

[omni550]

Alas, there's really no choice in scheduling at least some things. I also like a freewheeling lifestyle. Realistically, though, I need to keep track of doctor appointments and other hard-scheduled items (I attend quite a few lectures) lest I decide on a spur of the moment activity and miss an appointment.

+1 ^this is me to a T, too.

And I hate setting a wake-up alarm ...even it if is to wake up for something I am looking forward to (like going on a great trip.)


omni

 

[EarlyBirdly]

" I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. "

YUP.

That's the whole point of this exercise isn't it?



Here's how I politely discuss with the " Time Vampires " any scenario that may be forming requiring my time, thought, or energies:

" No. "


Sincerely,

C. Mudgeon

 

[ArkTinkerer]

I still HATE to talk on the phone, and probably always will.

I confess to this being even more irritating than before. Of course, now the phone calls usually come when I am on a ladder, have my hands covered with paint, etc. I force myself to take a deep breath and remember it will go to voicemail and that I managed to live over half my life without a cell phone!

 

[ArkTinkerer]

" I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. "

YUP.

That's the whole point of this exercise isn't it?



Here's how to politely discuss with the " Time Vampires " any scenario that may be forming requiring your time, thought, or energies:

" No. "

( You may or may not add " thank you " depending on the communication skills of the Listener.)

Unfortunately there are things I CAN'T do that with. Concrete truck had to be scheduled. I try and do as much as I can by myself but pouring 15+ yards of concrete is a bit much. The inspector shows at any point during a 4 hour window. Equipment rentals are by the day, if I'm late, I'm paying for the time anyway. Arranging for work to be done means scheduling meetings with people, many who never show or call. Then there are the meetings involving medical care for family members. The list just goes on and on. I am trying to say no. The unfortunate thing is many of the things I have the power to say no to are the ones I enjoy attending but when I schedule them something else comes along and makes them hectic, stressful events. I, know, I'm getting too damn bitchy about such things. But yes, the word "no" is coming into play much more often. I need to work at applying it to other people rather than myself!!!!

 

[brett]

Big time! Much of my career involved travel. Timetables set, reservations made, meeting confirmed. The whole bit. Same for many vacations during our working life.

Absolutely the opposite now. When we leave for 2 months vacation to escape winter we may have return ticket booked. Or we may have only one way, not sure about the return, Other than the hotel where we arrive for a few nights that is it. The rest is usually proactive. And we both love it. If we get somewhere that we like we can simply stay longer than we anticipated. We forget what day it is and we do not care.

 

[audreyh1]

Unfortunately there are things I CAN'T do that with. Concrete truck had to be scheduled. I try and do as much as I can by myself but pouring 15+ yards of concrete is a bit much. The inspector shows at any point during a 4 hour window. Equipment rentals are by the day, if I'm late, I'm paying for the time anyway. Arranging for work to be done means scheduling meetings with people, many who never show or call. Then there are the meetings involving medical care for family members. The list just goes on and on. I am trying to say no. The unfortunate thing is many of the things I have the power to say no to are the ones I enjoy attending but when I schedule them something else comes along and makes them hectic, stressful events. I, know, I'm getting too damn bitchy about such things. But yes, the word "no" is coming into play much more often. I need to work at applying it to other people rather than myself!!!!

Wow, sounds like somebody is too busy!

Yeah, if other people control your time and it’s hard to say no - you get into trouble.

 

[brucethebroker]

My snowbird friend "Larry", a 15 year vet. of retirement, says the same thing-he began loathing scheduling shortly after retiring. He used to love to play tennis, but became irritated with keeping weekly "tennis appointments"-so he dropped out of doubles. He told me he now avoids anything scheduled if possible.

The older I get, the more I agree. DW and I now refer to scheduling frustrations as "Larry's Law".

 

[audreyh1]

I don’t mind some scheduled activities, as long as there aren’t too many. I have twice weekly yoga classes and I picked convenient times. Now of course I have the option to skip a class - so maybe that’s a major difference. However I try not to as it is so beneficial.

 

[marko]

Scheduling per se doesn't bother me. I make a weekly list of 'to do's'; the only way I get anything done.

What DW and a few admins (and even mom) learned early on is to never, EVER make a time commitment for me without asking me first. Been like that since childhood.

"I promised them you'd do X/be there tomorrow". THE single, number one thing that will set me off and guarantee that it will never happen.

 

[big-papa]

I see two types of scheduling. There's one that involves other people "doctor, dentist, repair folks, etc". Those are unavoidable. Then there are my own. "I think I'll mow this morning.... Nah... " Those are my favorite!

 

[dm]

I hate to have to schedule vacations. My wife wants to plan every minute and includes usually meeting friends and relatives along the way. This then causes their schedules to be worked around.

I generally like to check the weather, and if it looks good go. I fly a small plane so when I can’t meet her schedule the wife complains. But I also don’t like being somewhere while it’s raining.

 

[EarlyBirdly]

Weather.

Means - Whether or not, I am going to any given event.

I like last minute vacations/getaways and my Non-Fire family and friends
can't understand my "obsession" with the Weather as regards these events.

I can't understand why they can't understand the simple concept of:

" I don't have to go to any given place at any given date or time so why in the hell would I choose to go when the forecast is 80-100% chance of rain and thunderstorms?"

Riddle me that, Batman...(?)

 

[athena53]

There are definitely times when I have "hard" scheduling- the weekly Toastmasters meeting, church on Sunday, dentist appointments, etc. Fortunately, they all run on schedule 99% of the time. The other things I get done, both personal and volunteer, run on a rough schedule I can change depending on the weather, what time I wake up, etc. I LOVE that. Cleaning the house, gardening, updating the church Web site, daily gym visit..I don't have to commit to a time and they always get done.

I also have far less patience for meetings that go on and on. The biggest offenders have been people at my church; some just can't keep a meeting under control and let it get off-course. Twice I've just murmured, "I've go to go" and left.