FinanceDude
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2006
- Messages
- 12,483
This is probably out there on the net somewhere, but I thought I would share it because it is quite funny:
Dear Technical Support:
>
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 8.0. I soon noticed
> that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
> lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 8.0 installed
> itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
> activity.
> Applications
> such as
> Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing
> 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 8.0 in the background while attempting
> to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
> Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 8.0. Please
> help!
>
> Thanks,
>
> A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
>
>
> REPLY:
> Dear Troubled User:
>
> This is a very common problem that men complain about.
>
> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 8.0, thinking that it
> is
>
> just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 8.0 is an OPERATING
> SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING! It is also
> impossible to delete Wife 8.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
> impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
> once installed.
>
> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 8.0 is designed to
> not
>
> allow this. Look in your Wife 8.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
> Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 8.0 and work on improving the
> situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"
> to alleviate software augmentation.
>
> The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
> ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
> system will return to normal anyway.
>
> Wife 8.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
> Wife 8.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
> Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
>
> However, be very careful how you use these programs.
> Improper use will
> cause
> the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the
> only way to improve the performance of Wife 8.0 is to purchase
> additional software.
> I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!
>
> WARNING!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
> Short
>
> Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 8.0 and will
> cause
>
> irreversible damage to the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
> Tech Support
Dear Technical Support:
>
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 8.0. I soon noticed
> that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
> lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 8.0 installed
> itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
> activity.
> Applications
> such as
> Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing
> 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 8.0 in the background while attempting
> to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
> Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 8.0. Please
> help!
>
> Thanks,
>
> A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
>
>
> REPLY:
> Dear Troubled User:
>
> This is a very common problem that men complain about.
>
> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 8.0, thinking that it
> is
>
> just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 8.0 is an OPERATING
> SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING! It is also
> impossible to delete Wife 8.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
> impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
> once installed.
>
> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 8.0 is designed to
> not
>
> allow this. Look in your Wife 8.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
> Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 8.0 and work on improving the
> situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"
> to alleviate software augmentation.
>
> The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
> ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
> system will return to normal anyway.
>
> Wife 8.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
> Wife 8.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
> Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
>
> However, be very careful how you use these programs.
> Improper use will
> cause
> the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the
> only way to improve the performance of Wife 8.0 is to purchase
> additional software.
> I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!
>
> WARNING!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
> Short
>
> Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 8.0 and will
> cause
>
> irreversible damage to the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
> Tech Support