How much did you spend on.....

[linkerbink]

I don't recall the amount, but it wasn't much. I was stationed at Pearl Harbor where I met my husband in 1972. We were married there a year later. I had flown my parents and sister there from Ohio for a visit, so my honey and I decided to get married while they were there. It was a "hurry up" wedding due to the time constraints. I was ready to wear my uniform, but my husband wanted me to wear a gown, so I made one. He wore his uniform, and we were married in the base chapel. The invitations were by word of mouth..."We're getting married on Wednesday, want to come?" There were about 12 people at the ceremony, and the reception guest list consisted of my parents and sister, my husband's son, and the best man and his wife...at the Officer's Club (all you can eat steak and crab!). Had a simple cake, too.

My personal observation is that these days people put more energy into the wedding than they do into the marriage. We were happily married 18 1/2 years until my husband's death...I'm sure we'd still be together now, nearly 34 years later.

 

[Outtahere]

We spent about $3k 10 years ago.

Ceremony was by a JP in stepdds yard with just parents, witnesses and dh's kids.
Rings were just gold bands, neither of us are big jewerly people.
Reception was a catered barbeque in my back yard.
Dh's ex works for a rental company so tents and tables were greatly discounted.
Have a friend that did the dj stuff for free
Served beer, wine and soft drinks
We had something for everyone, shade for the old ppl, sun and fun for the younger ones and kiddie toys and a small blowup pool for the real little ones.

We bought all kinds of outdoor toys and put them in baskets on the tables. Things like squit guns and frizzbees and those champane poppers. My stepmom grew my favorite flowers, Zinnias, for the tables.

We were married Aug 2, the hottest day of the summer that year. Honeymoon was a trip to Sturgis where we met his best friend who rode out and shared the cost of hotel rooms.

Dad gave me $2k, I could use it for what ever, that was his wedding present. Heck at 42 I didn't expect him to pay for the wedding and we'd been living together for 10 years. We had about 175 people and it was a very strange mix, family, which is alway strange when you try to combine the two, our biker friends, my computer geek friends and an assortment of others friends we've met in our journeys.

People still talk about our wedding, it was relaxed and fun and the last time my whole family on dads side were all together

Dh will turn 65 this year, his son and I are planning on having the same kind of party at his house. I figure it will probably cost me about double what the wedding cost.

 

[REWahoo]

We got married in 1968, two weeks prior to the beginning of my Sr. year in college. I had been promised a job once the fall semester started, but was “between opportunities” having lived at home that summer while working a summer job and managing to save a total of $1,000.

Rings: ~$175
Church Wedding: ~$300, including dress, flowers, license and $10 for the rev. Dogood.
Reception for 40: $0, held in the church basement with cake & food donated by church members.
Appendectomy for the bride on day 3 of our honeymoon: $447, including three day stay in the hospital “honeymoon suite” - no health insurance.
Growing up in a small town where the doctors and hospital staff had known me all my life: Priceless

Oh yeah, and a couple of months after our wedding the church burned to the ground.

 

[Donzo]

It not fair to give dollar numbers without giving the time (year). $900 in 1899 is a lot today!

Edit:
$5,000 - 1986

1983 - The 900 included wedding, all food, booze,, photographer and rental tables and chairs - we had about 300 friends and family attend-it ended up being a real "shindig" went almost all night...ahhh youth!
Great investment.

The 30K and more weddings FREAK me out - that would fund a barebones year of retirement - a year.....not 1 day

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

There is? And what would that correlation be? The likehood of divorce is inversely proportional to the cost of the wedding?

Directly proportional. I thought the reason would be evident, but basically most marriages fail due to financial problems and disagreements. I'd imagine most people who would think its a good idea to spend five figures on a wedding (or let someone else pay that much rather than...say...put a down payment on a house?) probably isnt going to be real good with money and spending down the road.

Are you noticing in this thread that a lot of ER's or planning ER's spent very little on their weddings?

Its a special day. You should both get some nice memories from it. We sure did. There was no pressure, no planning to speak of, no high expectations of a fairy tale day.

I did forget one item though...my wife spent $19 for a wedding dress off the bargain/clearance rack at some wedding store, although she worked on it a little on her sewing machine and now wears it as a summer dress now and then.

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue--nothing more than a sentimental wedding tradition, unless the something borrowed is thousands of dollars to pay for the big day.

In studies on the subject of marital conflict, both husbands and wives typically cite money issues as the No. 1 point of contention. With all the other challenges newlyweds face, paying off a pile of debt could be the test that the marriage just can't withstand.

Sometimes a financial rough spot is unavoidable, such as when a spouse loses a job or there's an illness in the family. But wedding-related debt is an entirely avoidable hurdle.

Deb Sumiec of Waukesha, Wis., recounts the fallout from her own wedding excess. "The preparation for our wedding was the time in our relationship when we fought the most--with each other and with our parents," says Sumiec, recalling the day as a huge production that left her and her fiancé with "a great photo album," but exhausted and broke. "Money was no object. We even had butter carved in the shape of roses! We spent everything we had on that one day, but it wasn't what it should have been--an intimate celebration of our marriage.""

 

[Nords]

A friend of ours just got married. She's a very busy naval officer who wanted to invite over 100 people to her wedding but had no time to send out invitations, let alone plan all the details. Rather than fly to Annapolis (in January) our gift was to pay for her wedding planner. Best $750 we ever spent for a day's work and worth far more than plane tickets.

The photos of them standing outside before the romantic Annapolis winter sunset freezing their assets off-- priceless.

Our wedding? We have no idea. 1986, seating for 35 lunches at Annapolis' Northwoods Restaurant. I think the JP was $25 and Northwoods is a nice upscale place that would probably go for $50/plate at today's prices. Spouse "inherited" a knockout dress from a friend. The ring (combined engagement/wedding band for her) was about $4000 but I'd just picked up a big nuclear-submariner bonus check. I remember we received a $2000 parental gift toward a bedroom set, which seemed humorously appropriate after all those years of dating rendezvous.

The day after the wedding I flew out to start a submarine patrol and spouse flew back to her duty station in the Azores. We postponed our honeymoon for six months until we reunited at Monterey. Again that was well worth the expense.

No bachelor or bachelorette parties. The affairs that we attended at Monterey more than made up for that omission!

Although I can't remember the price of the wedding, I can still remember the oenophile "friend" of ours who asked to select the bottle of wine at a small separate celebratory dinner that week. First time I'd ever tasted $70/bottle grape juice cabernet sauvignon... and the last.

While at Monterey we attended a "society" wedding (multi-generation Navy families) at Pebble Beach's clubhouse. The opulence, decadence, and indulgence blew me away. The beeswax candles at the church alone must've cost hundreds of dollars and I think we spent less on the downpayment for our first condo than these people spent on a wedding reception. The scenery-- looking out over the 18th green to the Pacific coast-- was unbelievable. 20+ years later we still haven't seen a wedding like that one. The good news is that they're still married and they still like each other...

Most interesting wedding was being "best man" at a synagogue. That wedding was notorious for its bachelor party the night before (not my fault!), the "Punk'd"-style visit to the party from a "police officer" that gave one elderly gentleman a coronary scare, the bride's detonation the subsequent morning upon learning about a few of the bachelor party's other details, and the generally hysterical dramatics of the bride's family before/during/after the ceremony. For a number of reasons that marriage only lasted a couple years... totally predictable.

 

[Moemg]

First time - about $1,500 which in 1969 was a lot of money .Ended in divorce ten years later .

Second time-Just us and two witnesses. Happily married until his death.

I also just payed for my daughter's wedding .$15,000 and worth every Penny .In Lakewood NY $15,000 buys a very nice wedding.

 

[unclemick]

The Kansas City wedding last July(youngest nephew) was - well - the most elaborate one I've ever been to - I'm still slightly miffed that the men wore Navy whites while all the women officers wore civy dresses.

I wanted to see some women in the crossed sword dealy at the end.

Rats!

heh heh heh me 29 yrs one night stand(same girlfriend) before she passed. No marriage, no divorce and she bought her own drinks the night we met.

 

[Zoocat]

Number one: 1968, my parents paid for it. Married in church, reception at the house. My mother sewed my dress, which was quite lovely. The priciest item were the flowers, white camillas. Honeymoon, three days in San Diego. The whole thing probably cost $300-400. That marriage lasted only three years. But I came away from it with a wonderful son.

Nine years passes . . .

Number Two, 1980: Paid for by myself and the groom. We had just finished grad school so it was a budget wedding but we felt we were really splurging. We held the ceremony in a tiny chapel with a justice of the peace, the reception in a facility nearby. Lots of champagne, minimal food, big cake. Live music, a violin, cello, and flute playing baroque music. I bought my dress on sale at some ordinary store. I think my son's white suit cost more than my dress. Summer honeymoon in a ski resort. Probable cost about $1000.

That marriage lasted 23 years. Lots of wonderful memories, two great kids. Too bad it couldn't have lasted forever.

Now, my next marriage will be a blow out, no holds barred extravaganza that will cost at least $20,000.

 

[bosco]

the wedding was cheap.

it's those #*$* divorces!

 

[deserat]

1st wedding in 1985 - $1500 - parents wouldn't help at all - I had my dress made - beaded the lace myself (took all damn summer doing it) - did most everything ourselves - marriage lasted 9 years......some money issues, but mainly not living together very much due to our careers and not even knowing the person 9 years later. Had about 70 people at the wedding - most expensive part was the photography and food.

2nd wedding in 2004 - $1k - most of that was the dress! I bought a very nice outfit in Europe that I still wear now -next most expensive thing was the photographer and real flowers (I had had silk flowers at my first wedding). "Preacher" was about $50, rings were free (had bought them for earlier, thank god didn't get married, wedding - kept them 'just in case' ).

Funny story - my husband at the time was working in Poland and had a business trip back to the States - either Tucson or Orlando - I told him either place we could get married - so he went to Orlando - we got married on the beach in front of the Don Cesar - I had called them to find out what a small room would cost - way too much, so I said OK, the beach isn't private, we'll just get married on the beach and take pictures as if we got married at the hotel - while we were having our pictures taken, I noticed there was a rehearsal going on - tons of people - then the next day (my parents had gotten us a weekend at the hotel for our present - surprised us actually) I saw the wedding and then the reception - big party, lots of food, champagne....etc - I kept laughing as we had had about the same type of experience (a bit more sedate - dinner at the hotel restaurant for after the wedding), but at a much better price.

As it was, my husband and I were thankful that we had gotten the present from my parents but thought they'd paid way too much for what we got - we're both pretty cheap

Last cool part of the sotry - the Don Cesar is a very large pink building on the beach in St Petersburg - right when we were kissing during the ceremony, there was an F-16 flying over - as my husband and I are both Air Force officers, it was ironic - what really got my husband, though, was the hotel workers thought he had arranged it - he let them think that, but I'm sure that huge pink object is a visual cue for the F-16's to turn downrange to MacDill just over the Bay......

Deserat

 

[Corporateburnout]

$500 in 1975 at a relative house with 30 family members and friends.

NW at that time negative $5000.

 

[W2R]

the wedding was cheap.

it's those #*$* divorces!

Our no-fault divorce only cost $250. It helped that our daughter was grown and gone. Also I gave him everything (except an old sofa, my college books, a junker K-car, and about $600 still in the checking account) to keep it out of court, so there were no property issues.

Although surrendering everything during a divorce sounds like an awful decision, actually it was very liberating!! Most old stuff isn't worth much anyway, and I had to laugh in glee as he took off with it. I had no more albatross weighting me down. I have all new stuff now, and much less of it.

Divorce? - - $250. But a clean break? - - priceless!!

 

[OAG]

0= 1960 American Embassy - Vice Counsel Officiating. Were still married to each other too.

 

[Outtahere]

We were really casual, we both wore a white shirt and jeans. Okay so my shirt had some nice beaded embroidery on it but still it was white and cheap.

Two of my sisters had big blow out weddings, both are divorced.

 

[MikeD]

1976 - I have no idea how much it cost.

Our rings were from a discount store (Best's), mine cost $23.00, hers cost $19.00. No engagement ring.

We went on a honeymoon to the eastern shore of Va, Chincoteague, which was where we met. Two days later I had final exams.

We had chocolate icing on yellow cake. People told us it was the best wedding cake they ever had.

We're still married.

Mike D.

 

[Gillette]

1983 - The 900 included wedding, all food, booze,, photographer and rental tables and chairs - we had about 300 friends and family attend-it ended up being a real "shindig" went almost all night...ahhh youth!
Great investment.

The 30K and more weddings FREAK me out - that would fund a barebones year of retirement - a year.....not 1 day

This is a complete apples to oranges thread. The cost of a wedding has increased by an average of 4.75% per year since 2000. The demographics are also different, people are married older, have jobs, carreers, houses, may have lived together prior to the wedding.

We had a very similar wedding to you, the difference is it was 12 years later. We had 250 people, BBQ dinner buffet, wedding was outside, JP, photographer, rental table & chairs, and booze. The day before the wedding I made all the boutineers, bouquets, centerpieces, I hand-made every invitation and program - still cost $20,000 and it was a hellva shindig, worth every penny.

When is the last time you saw a $19 wedding ring for sale? When Ford came out with the Pinto or Model T?

 

[bosco]

My sister was getting married about 20 years ago. She wanted a big wedding with all the frills. My mom and us sibs were sort of shaking our heads and wondering about her a bit, but she always was the one that had to have the nice clothes etc. Now, she is the one with no savings and the nicest house and car.

My (then) 62 year old mom, who was footing most of the bill, didn't really want to deal with it all and offered my sister and fiance a deluxe trip to Hawaii in lieu of the wedding. They declined.

At the height of her exasperation, my mom looks at me and says "I don't understand it. Christ, I'd have gotten married in an outhouse for a trip to Hawaii!"

guess it's about values....

 

[Buckeye]

We got married 15 years ago on the radio with 20 other couples on Valentine's Day. It was a group cake, his tux was free from a sponsor, my bouquet was free from a sponsor, and the hotel venue was free. Between my dress and the rings, I think we spent $800. Everyone at work listened over the PA system turned to the radio station. I still have the tape somewhere.

 

[Sandy]

2004: $60 for license and JP.

We didn't exactly do things in order - the twins were 6. We didn't invite them - I don't think they know we weren't always married. Didn't invite family either - my parents are still mad.

Took a weekend away in a nearby town, but had to get someone to stay at the house with the kids, that was the most expensive part.

 

[SecondCor521]

The "correlation" thing doesn't work in my family. My sisters' weddings were probably $15-$20K apiece, and they're both still married. However, I got married the youngest out of the three of us, and also dated the fewest people before getting married. If I had it to do over again I'd date more people and wait another 10 years before getting married.

One thing I am glad we did for our wedding though is have our wedding the way we wanted it for the most part. I think each bride should have her own wedding instead of having the wedding her mother always wanted.

2Cor521

 

[Sarah in SC]

Big party, great band, awesome night! In 1993 $10k paid by Mom & Dad. Worth every penny and still cost way less than my sister's wedding a few years later. The best part was my wedding dress was made by my 2nd cousin Thomasina, whose Mom had my my Mom's wedding dress!

I think we will likely spend a bundle on my 40th birthday party coming up in 4 years. I'm planning a blowout!

Sarah

 

[My Dream]

DW and I paid approximatly $12,000 in 1985 for 225 guests. First and only marriage, , Italian, Portugese background. I still concider her my best friend and still married.

 

[justin]

$1500 engagement ring (some of the diamonds bought off the internet) - 2003
$200 for my and DW's wedding rings off the internet - 2004
$300 for wedding and reception - 2004

We had two weddings. The "official" legal wedding took place right after midnight on the wedding day at the magistrate's office in the county emergency services building (where the county jail is!). The magistrate just happened to have known me as I was growing up, since his son and I were in Boy Scouts together for 7 years. He went out of his way to have a really nice ceremony for us in a nice location of the emergency services building.

The big shindig wedding took place at my SIL's house. Traditional Asian wedding (sacrificial chickens, gambling, etc ). The proceeds from the house cut of the gambling plus cash gifts paid for the wedding itself. We had a few expenses like $100 for a hand tailored dress and a few hundred bottles of beer. Not sure who paid for the pig and the cow.

 

[dm]

We got married in the post chaple at Fort Knox, 1980. That cost $100. Reception was at the NCO club, in-laws paid for that. We got married on Saturday in Kentucky and I was at work Monday morning in Texas. We are going on our honeymoon next month.