How often do strangers ask you for money?

[mystang52]

When we went into NYC with our then-young kids, we reminded them of the "NYC walk." To wit, a steady brisk pace, look ahead at people you are nearing, and don't answer anyone who says "Excuse me,......." other than saying "no thank you" while not breaking stride. OP that should be your strategy. From your description of the path you walk, you can easily spot the beggars ahead of time, so this should not be an issue. As others have written, if it were me I'd still look for a different walking route.

 

[Car-Guy]

Happened all the time when I lived in Houston (I always just said no) but it never happens since I moved to the country with nothing but small towns around. Gas stations, restaurants, stores, it just doesn't happen.

About as close as it's comes for someone asking me for money is at the Casinos. Usually at the older or lower class places. People are always trying to sell something. Usually watches at really low prices, but "other" stuff too.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

Strangers. Never.

My brother. Almost daily.

They both get the same answer.

 

[MarieIG]

When I commuted into Manhattan and Jersey City, NJ, in my working days from the mid-1980s through 2008, I was asked for money many times. Some of those times, it was part of larger solicitation inside a train car. But there several one-on-one solicitations, especially when my company had its formal dress code, whereas after that I looked more like a slob.

Out here on LI, it's very rare I get hit up for money. Once in a while in a box store's parking lot. I get asked for directions more often,

Veryd similar to this. When I commuted into NYC I was solicited in and by subway stations. Sometimes I would see the same person.

Now that I've retired, that's much rarer, although sometimes in parking lots.

I agree with the advise to stay off the mostly deserted trail. It's not worth the risk.

 

[karen1972]

I've had it happen more frequently lately.

I find when I look like I'm on a mission and got places to be I am left alone, its when the sun is out and Im just wandering that I must scream easy pickings.

An lady who looked in her 70s came up the other day in a grocery parking lot trying to sell me something she made to get money for food and I dont' carry cash anyway, I said well she could have something I had just bought, I had some water, fruit, things she didn't have to cook, she was like so I'll take the frozen shrimp you have there... such a reminder of how people really are.

I'm back to giving off that crazy cat lady vibe

 

[pacergal]

When I worked downtown area, I was asked frequently, always said no, but have occasionally offered to buy them a meal if they are by a fast food place. Only one person actually took me up on that offer.

As others have mentioned, that path does not seem to be a safe place. As a woman, walking on an isolated path with no escape, by water, would not be anything I would do. If you continue that choice, definitely carry some protection of some sort.
If I am out walking without my husband or dog, I stay in my neighborhood, walking close to the side of the street and driveways. Or just exercise at home.

 

[grasshopper]

Not money but the Walmart I shop at 1/4 mile from Mexico is like a little sidewalk market. Tamales, burritos, puppies you name it. But always a soft sell, I smile and keep walking.

 

[RetiredHappy]

We live in a very nice area and the closest large grocery store with gas station has not attracted any panhandlers (or strangers asking you for money) and homeless people yet. Maybe they have security guards who shoo them off.

We avoid going to areas where it is an issue because we don't feel safe. Sometimes we cannot help it when we go to see our doctors or we need to go to top up gas. We just say no.

If we want to walk, the issue is with big dogs and coyotes. Since we live in a guard gated community, we don't have strangers asking us for money or the homeless. That are too many dog walkers around and I am afraid of big dogs. People have been feeding coyotes and about 10 of them had to be put down recently because they were being aggressive towards people.

 

[LateToFIRE]

My unwavering policy is "No". In NYC you get asked constantly - I don't have the capacity to stop and assess each situation, and I don't want to encourage the behavior. Outside the city, same thing. One time, I was in a mid-sized PNW city on a business trip and a couple of skinheads asked me for money - You remember those scary lookin guys right, covered in tattoos, lots of piercings, spiky hair - I did give that one a second thought seeing as how my life might be in danger. But, I said "no," I was honest and said "it's my policy to never do that," and they were cool with that, and we actually ended up chatting for awhile. I still didn't give them any money, but I appreciated not getting my teeth kicked in.

 

[folivier]

There is a guy in our city that is a well known beggar. Most of the stores that he tries to beg from want to be notified when he is on their property so they can run him off or call the police.
You might try notifying the store manager that you were confronted in their parking lot and are afraid and won't come back.
BTW having an alcoholic son I will NEVER buy someone any alcohol. That just enables them and doesn't confront their problem.

 

[savory]

I am approached often now having moved to a bigger city. I do not give money since I think it discourages people from going to the facilities that are designed to help them.
I do hate the way I feel after saying no but I still think it is the best thing.

The part of these conversations that troubles me is our uneasiness. How many encounters with a person requesting funds does it take to feel the 'beggers' are not dangerous. Or a path that is not widely used but has been around for years with few or no encounters is as safe as other places we walk and visit. Walmarts get shot up for example.

There is no doubt the unfamiliar causes doubt and concern. And to be encountered by anyone vs no-one feels less safe. But, I think the result of our evaluations compromises things we enjoy for reasons that are not evidenced based.

I know my point of view is not popular here and other places but I felt it needed to be considered.

 

[badatmath]

BAM,

Tell them No.

Be aware of your surroundings and see if there is more than one of them.

As others have recommended, carry Pepper Spray.

Walking on an isolated path alone, especially for a lady is not something I would want ms gamboolgal to do. Can you walk with some other folks?

If I am not with ms gamboolgal, which is very rare, and she goes walking, she will carry her pistol in addition to Pepper Spray. Besides 2 legged Varmints, we have to contend with peoples pet dogs getting loose and being aggressive from time to time.

If you are comfortable, you might consider carrying a weapon. But that's a big step.

You can't tell what a persons intentions are these days.

Be careful.

Thank you. I would think middle of day was safe but . . . maybe not. I don't have a dog or a husband to take.

I will quit that path I guess. Just so few safe places to go it seems.

 

[Aerides]

The gas station is a more likely place to be approached. Not good, but more understandable.

Another advantage for using Costco gas stations - this doesn't happen there.

 

[Teacher Terry]

If I go downtown I get asked. Many times if I am bringing home half of my meal people will ask for the rest of it and I give it to them. A guy was sitting outside of Wendy’s and had a sign that he was hungry. I asked what he wanted and he said a burger. I asked if he would like fries and a drink and he was thrilled so I got it for him. I will give food but not money.

Once I got divorced and my big dog died I stopped walking anywhere that was isolated. Now I walk the neighborhood with my 2 little dogs. I stay away from parks because too many people have big dogs off leash and my dogs only weigh 5lbs so could easily be hurt or killed.

 

[LateToFIRE]

What is really surprising about this thread is that I thought this issue was exclusive to places like NYC and SF. And if you live in those areas, you just kinda get used to it, it's mostly not the "scary" variety (excluding subway interactions with mentally imbalanced individuals) and people just go about doing what they wanna do (including riding the subway).

But, seemingly, this is not only an issue in many other parts of the U.S., but people are finding it so intimidating that it's altering the way folks go about their lives, and prompts taking precautions like carrying lethal weapons.

I'm kinda shocked.

P.S. I do not, will not any longer ride the NYC subway and my stress levels have been improved immeasurably by it.

 

[brett]

Cannot remember being asked for money where I live. I have seem people standing about looking for handouts but no one actually coming up to me asking for money. Other than my wife.

We were asked once last month in Mexico.

 

[tmm99]

All I do is shake my head no without stopping, and I hardly even look at them.

I guess I'm just rude (or/and in a hurry.)

 

[aja8888]

Two female neighbors (both older widows), in my old 55+ neighborhood carry a .38 in their purse. They are licensed and have been trained to use the weapons. Usually, they are approached in gas stations, and just calmly tell the person they are armed and he/she needs to leave immediately, which seems to work.

Of course, this is Texas. I don't recommend the OP to do this, unless, of course, she desires to get licensed and get a carry permit.

 

[FIREd]

I rarely get asked because panhandling is illegal here.

 

[rpguy4]

I was at a do-it yourself car wash, and some elderly guy rolled up on 3 wheel scooter and 'tried' to ask me for a dollar. I could hardly understand him. This was mid morning, weekday, I was the only one at the car wash. I had no money other than $5 I used for the car wash. He set there for about 5 minutes watching me wash my car. Finally, once I was done, he drove off on his scooter. I think he thought that I was going to put more money into the wash.

 

[badatmath]

I would not go near that walking path, pepper spray or no pepper spray. Look, you have been accosted (which is what "asking a stranger for money" is) and have seen homeless people there. So, dodgy people also appreciate its "convenience." It is not a safe environment; its convenience is a lure.

I have homeless people sleeping in the common area on my street from time to time. . . it isn't like I can just stay inside. It isn't illegal. . . (I don't think?)

I don't know how to feel about the responses to this thread overall.

Confused I guess.

 

[cooch96]

I have homeless people sleeping in the common area on my street from time to time. . . it isn't like I can just stay inside. It isn't illegal. . . (I don't think?)

I don't know how to feel about the responses to this thread overall.

Confused I guess.

I'm a little confused too. I can only figure many posters live in rural areas, gated communities, and the like; or they simply don't go out much. Or maybe I live in a much rougher area than I realized.

It's been a month for me since I've been hassled. If I have food in my vehicle, I'll give it to someone clearly indigent, but I rarely have food handy. I get irked when the beggar is wearing nicer clothes than me.

 

[CaliKid]

Ya, probably once a week. I just ignore it or say no and move on. It's part of big city life unfortunately.

 

[Walt34]

I agree with the others to stay off that walking trail, convenient or not. You are putting yourself in a bad and vulnerable position.

Your profile says you live in Arizona so you can carry a weapon, but they are of limited value if you are not well-trained AND can't see the threat approaching. But it is not something one can just buy, shoot a few times at a range and be done with. They require maintenance and practice to be useful.

The best move is to find someplace else with lots of people around or an enclosed place such as a mall before opening time. Granted those are maybe getting harder to find and lack variety. But really, that walking trail where you're isolated most of the time is a really bad place to be.

 

[Alan]

I rarely get asked because panhandling is illegal here.

Illegal here as well, I have never encountered it since moving back.