How to answer all the naysayers?

[Aerides]

I can't imagine telling a neighbor or stranger what I do. I mean I guess if I'm at some mystical party and the "what do you do?" question comes up, but I haven't been to any of those other than with close friends. If someone new comes to one, and asks, one of my friends will chime in "she's retired and we hate her" and we move on from there.

One of the advantages of a small social circle I guess.

 

[Dtail]

I have said it many times before. IMHO, it is mainly from a jealousy perspective. The non retired folks who truly wish they were retired already, just can't admit they couldn't pull it off themselves.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I FIRED unconditionally at age 50. In a small town where everyone works til you die.

This is a real situation if you choose to stay where you live. When I leave home and people ask me......

I tell them "I fight oil well fires" ( I did til I ER'd at 50) and immediately ask them "what do you do?"

When I meet someone new I new I never, ever ask anything about work. I ask them "what do you enjoy doing?"

Anyone can work. I can work like a rented mule and I don't don't want to talk about it. Let's all have fun instead.

The OP's question is real. It took me 6 years to figure out how to answer it.

 

[FI_RElater]

Tell them that you worked until (XX) and then developed an eye problem....couldn't see going to w@rk anymore!

 

[RobbieB]

I never got a lot of "surprise", but I was 59 and a half when I retired. Early, but not real early. Got grey hair too -

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I never got a lot of "surprise", but I was 59 and a half when I retired. Early, but not real early. Got grey hair too -

But Robbie B. You're our hero. Just tell em.

 

[doneat54]

I agree with most responses here. I don't feel the need to explain myself. But I do get asked sometimes "How exactly do you retire at 54?" (in my case).


I say "You decide that is what you are going to do when you are in your 20s, and you live the life that supports that goal."


It really is that simple.

 

[martyp]

I ER'd at 55. The only semi-negative reaction was from my mother. I don't think she comprehended it at first but she adjusted. My sister and a few others were a bit surprised because they thought I had an interesting job and may have question why would I want to leave it but they didn't know the details of what was happening at work. My close friends expressed no surprise and congratulated me. My co-workers understood exactly why I was leaving and were supportive and threw me a very nice retirement party.

The day I retired I announced it on LinkedIn and Facebook. I made the most of those first years so no one was really asking me what I was doing. I was relaxing, taking care of the dogs, taking classes, teaching classes occasionally, traveling, dancing, exploring on my motorcycle, discovering new restaurants.

I would get surprise from strangers about being retired while looking so young but never a negative reaction. I just embraced the status of being retired because I was (and still am) truly enjoying it and I was financially and emotionally secure in my decision. If anyone was harboring unsaid resentment then I really couldn't care. I am 66 now, living in Thailand, and still enjoying every minute of life. Among expats in a foreign country no one is surprised if you say you are retired.

 

[Scuba]

My close friends and family understood completely and were happy for me. Many of my co-workers, including my CEO, thought I had gotten a better job and just made up that I was retiring because they couldn’t believe that I was ready to retire in my mid-50’s when they planned to work until 65+. I just smiled and assured everyone that I really was retiring. Now that I’ve been gone for over 5 years and have not resurfaced in the professional world, I’m sure they’ve forgotten all about me.

 

[RobbieB]

But Robbie B. You're our hero. Just tell em.

Yeah, that's what I tell anyone that asks.

I saved and invested. All equities. Since I was 24 -

 

[Dawg52]

Just tell them you are living the dream and you can’t imagine anyone not understanding the concept. Don’t worry about what others think.

 

[old medic]

Just retired at 58.. and if asked why or how, I just say "I figured 35 years was enough " or "on Public service pay we have learned to live on little money ."

 

[intent]

My response depends on my mood. With my former co-workers I usually preemptively offered some sort of disclaimer designed to save them from feeling any sort of negative judgement - e.g., "We opted not to have children, which made it possible," or "I hope it will work out, but who knows, I'll probably be back here in a year or two."

Sometimes now when I meet new people and I'm in a particularly ornery mood I just tell them I'm unemployed. This garners a strange reaction when told to a person with whom you've been playing tennis during weekday mornings for the past 2-3 months .

 

[target2019]

I have just started my ER journey at age 50. I'm wondering how you have handled the complete lack of understanding-from everyone! My sisters, my friends, old co-workers, neighbors, no one can really comprehend that I don't need to work. Do I say I'm semi-retired? Do I say I'm a day trader? Any tips for how to navigate the waters would be appreciated!!!

"I'm very happy now, and keep all options open. How are things for you."

 

[Music Lover]

Neighbor: "How can you be retired? You're too young!"

You: "Actually, I was downsized and can't find another j*b. Do you think you could help me out?"

You will never hear another word about retirement from your neighbor. YMMV

I don't get the fibbing. I've always just said "I'm retired". If it bothers them, too bad. If they say that I'm too young to be retired I tell them that they're too old to be working.

 

[scrabbler1]

I had been working part-time for 7 years before I fully retired 13 years ago at age 45. So, it wasn't a huge surprise to everyone who knew I has basically halfway to retirement to learn I had gotten the other half done.

I wasn't worried about getting any grief from most people because many of them benefitted from my being retired. I am talking about those involved with my main hobby and with my volunteer work who would benefit from my increased availability. No chance they were going to alienate me.

If anyone wondered how I was able to retire so young, I had a short answer to them which always ended that part of the conversation: "No kids, no debts."

 

[CoolRich59]

When I FIRE’d at 58, I had the same concerns. To my surprise, they were unnecessary. No one, not one friend or family member, asked me how, what, why, etc. I had mentally prepared my “elevator speech” about LBYM, saving and investing, but never got to deliver it.

Fast forward a few years and I get “blindsided” by my sister-in-law (my age) at a family party. She sits down next to me and asked me how long I’ve been retired. “Four years”, I said. “How did you do it?”, she asks.

I was so surprised that I was at a loss for words. I just said “You should talk to your sister” (the DW). Finally had the chance to deliver my elevator speech and I whiffed!

 

[CoolRich59]

Just say you are on parole. They usually change the subject.

Love it.

 

[tmitchell]

I’m only two months out of work. So far hardly anyone cares to even ask what I’m up to. Among those who have asked I’ve just say “I’m taking a break.” The conversation seems to end there. I find people are thinking a lot more about their own lives than mine!

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Neighbor: "How can you be retired? You're too young!"

You: "Actually, I was downsized and can't find another j*b. Do you think you could help me out?"

You will never hear another word about retirement from your neighbor. YMMV

Ugh, neighbors. I would be very cautious about telling one of my neighbors that I am retired. They are already VERY needy about needing help for all sorts of things. I couldn't IMAGINE how terrible it would be if they thought I farted around and "did nothing" all day.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

If anyone wondered how I was able to retire so young, I had a short answer to them which always ended that part of the conversation: "No kids, no debts."

I think we have a winner right here. I have heard LOTS of comments over the years with our choice to not have kids. In the military, it's often looked at like a right of passage...married at 19, first kid at 20; no thanks. The many years of living as DINKs certainly paid off.

 

[Gumby]

Not having children was a major factor in our being able to retire early.

 

[SnowballCamper]

What do you do? I do volunteer work with xyz, go camping whenever I can, build stitch and glue boats, enjoy walks around town, etc.

No, what do you do for a job? I don't have one...don't need one.

Then thanks to our cultural aversion to actually talking to each other about money, there isn't much follow up, and it's time to change the subject. I do find the social circle shifting to older folks than myself...closer to a traditional retirement age.

 

[jcfradio]

Invariably the person that makes the comment to me is a 9-5 er who would not think of working OT without pay. And has lots of toys with the credit card payments to go with it.

If I get annoyed with the conversation I simply say I spent 5 years in college and university plus many courses since. Picked up sticks and moved thousand of miles away from both our homes on several occasions. Not to mention no consumer debt...ever. If we could not afford it we did without or bought used.

Next I tell them for the past eight years prior to retirement I worked 60 plus hours a week, traveled constantly but earned large cash bonuses based on performance, stock options based on performance, and go a golden handshake. And carefully invested most of it.

No more discussion after that Sometimes people do not give up on the questions that are none of their business.

Jeez Brett. I think that you just wrote my work history - there is nothing that I would change. And I am also from Canada. This is spooky!

 

[Jkirk]

Some people call me lucky. I just respond, the more I saved the luckier I got.

I’m going to have to borrow that one. The “you’re so lucky” response gets under my skin and I have a hard time not being a jerk when people say that.

Yes, I planned for decades, went to school at night and on weekends to earn degrees and certifications to increase my earnings, learned about money and investing, lived below my means, and basically lived my life intentionally while you lived yours like a fart in the wind. My life turned out as planned, so did yours. It’s not about luck…

That will still be what’s playing in my head, but what should come out of my mouth is “The more I saved, the luckier I got.”

Thank you for that!