dex
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2003
- Messages
- 5,105
Warning! Warning! Warning! What follows are a raining day, seasonal affected disorder, scotch and soda, broken collar bone, and old photographs induced maudlin reflections.
So the collar bone is healing and I am allowed to doing light resistance training. With this new found freedom I thought I would take a look through some of the boxes I’ve had most of my life. There are only seven small ones – 1 compact disks, 1 computer programs, 1 books, 1, tax returns, 1 high school and grammar school stuff, 1 nick knacks from travels, 1 of photographs.
Yes actual photographs from childhood that my mother gave me, some that I took during my travels and some that others gave me. There was some interesting ones of me is when I was younger – under 35, and had hair on my head – I was pretty good looking – in that NYC tough, don’t show your emotions way. I guess I am OK looking now; if you like completely bald guys; who don’t smile too much – that is one reason I’ve always been attracted to women with a good smile – my other half as the Greeks would say.
Then there were the women I dated – not many, and I don’t have pictures of some. Yes they were good looking too - in that way that they women can after you get over the first blush of attraction and you see their second (?) attractiveness. Maybe with time they look better to me. You look back now and wonder why you broke up. I’m thankful I knew them. Women are great. I learned a lot from all the women I knew. First I just wanted to get their clothes off. After that the learning began. When working I always tried to create an atmosphere where women can express themselves because I know I can be insensitive to some things and they could help me along the way.
If there is one thing that I would change in the woman I knew it would have been to smack me upside my head sometimes, shake me and tell me to focus on what is important; I am important to you, this is important to you don’t screw it up and by the way I love you. Women shouldn’t do this all the time. Guys don’t like whiners. As a matter of fact if a woman wants a guy to do something it is simple – ignore what he does wrong and let him know what he does right. Don’t like it that he doesn’t hold your hand; hold his and tell him you like it. When he holds your hand on his own, don’t say anything just give him a little peck on the cheek and shut up. Guys are reward driven. Simple. (Another thing is not to wait to tell a guy you had a crush on him. A couple of times women have told me year later, they had a crush on me. Who knew? Who knows what could have happened?)
Women can be great. Some of the women I’ve known are the strongest people I’ve known. They have been hurt so many ways by the people around them, family, friends, strangers, lovers and husbands and then put themselves out there to try and find love again.
Of course I knew one of these women. She was hurt physically, emotionally and mentally. I have a picture of her. I think I can see her soul in some of them. She is pretty. She has a smile that melts my heart. She has had a tough life. I don’t know where here drive came from; I wasn’t wise enough at the time to ask her. She got away from her family at 16, in her own small apartment, but still continued in high school – working as a waitress in a diner. She was 17 when I met her I was 22. I didn’t know the age difference at the time. She was on her own at the time. Yes, there were drugs and she hung around with the wrong people – it was NYC. After high school she went work and college classes – accounting of all things. I was insensitive to it I guess, I’ve been working since 15, school in the day work at night – was there a different life? Was there some world where parents gave their children guidance, spending money and paid for their college? Was there a world where people didn’t start drinking at 14 and go to bars at 15 and if you only smoked pot and drank you were on the straight and narrow?
Yes we loved each other like the young do - intensely. It was like giving a Ferrari to a teenage boy who doesn’t know how to drive. There is a lot of desire but little knowledge as to how to drive it or what to do with it. She never slapped me upside my head and I was too focused on other things to realize what I was screwing up and losing her. I guess part of the reason was that I kept everything inside and looked as if I knew what I was doing. Then again she did slap me but, I was too screwed up to know what it really meant. You and I know it would have taken a miracle to make it last more than a couple of years and it was best that we parted. That is the problem with young love; the potential dies with it and it is that potential that we miss. We see the happy life that could have been and not the divorce, children and broken home that most likely would have been. We were not to blame; we were a product of our families. Most of all I’m sorry for being one of the people that hurt her - that is a pain that will never go away. Looking back at these pictures I know there never will be a way to correct it.
“The teacher will come, when the student is ready.” I guess she always has been my teacher trying to tell me what is important.
What is important is not, the stock market, where you live, your job, the SWR, if you are retired or working or even how many years you will live. It is the life and love in your years that is important. It is a difficult lesson to learn. I'm still learning. I still have to make it a reality. It is a lesson better learned when you are young. Why? So you don’t look back at a photograph with regrets.
It is difficult to look at her picture. She is pretty. I miss that smile. I will always miss that smile. I wish I could hold her naked one more time, calm her fears, tell her she beautiful, strong and loved for nothing else than being who she is.
I've been to most of the "must see" places in the world - The Vatican (Rome), Tai Mahal (India), Egypt, Forbidden City (China), New York City, Hong Kong, London, Paris, Rome etc. and they don't mean much in the scheme of things.
Today’s lesson is:
You have to look back sometimes to see where you are going.
So the collar bone is healing and I am allowed to doing light resistance training. With this new found freedom I thought I would take a look through some of the boxes I’ve had most of my life. There are only seven small ones – 1 compact disks, 1 computer programs, 1 books, 1, tax returns, 1 high school and grammar school stuff, 1 nick knacks from travels, 1 of photographs.
Yes actual photographs from childhood that my mother gave me, some that I took during my travels and some that others gave me. There was some interesting ones of me is when I was younger – under 35, and had hair on my head – I was pretty good looking – in that NYC tough, don’t show your emotions way. I guess I am OK looking now; if you like completely bald guys; who don’t smile too much – that is one reason I’ve always been attracted to women with a good smile – my other half as the Greeks would say.
Then there were the women I dated – not many, and I don’t have pictures of some. Yes they were good looking too - in that way that they women can after you get over the first blush of attraction and you see their second (?) attractiveness. Maybe with time they look better to me. You look back now and wonder why you broke up. I’m thankful I knew them. Women are great. I learned a lot from all the women I knew. First I just wanted to get their clothes off. After that the learning began. When working I always tried to create an atmosphere where women can express themselves because I know I can be insensitive to some things and they could help me along the way.
If there is one thing that I would change in the woman I knew it would have been to smack me upside my head sometimes, shake me and tell me to focus on what is important; I am important to you, this is important to you don’t screw it up and by the way I love you. Women shouldn’t do this all the time. Guys don’t like whiners. As a matter of fact if a woman wants a guy to do something it is simple – ignore what he does wrong and let him know what he does right. Don’t like it that he doesn’t hold your hand; hold his and tell him you like it. When he holds your hand on his own, don’t say anything just give him a little peck on the cheek and shut up. Guys are reward driven. Simple. (Another thing is not to wait to tell a guy you had a crush on him. A couple of times women have told me year later, they had a crush on me. Who knew? Who knows what could have happened?)
Women can be great. Some of the women I’ve known are the strongest people I’ve known. They have been hurt so many ways by the people around them, family, friends, strangers, lovers and husbands and then put themselves out there to try and find love again.
Of course I knew one of these women. She was hurt physically, emotionally and mentally. I have a picture of her. I think I can see her soul in some of them. She is pretty. She has a smile that melts my heart. She has had a tough life. I don’t know where here drive came from; I wasn’t wise enough at the time to ask her. She got away from her family at 16, in her own small apartment, but still continued in high school – working as a waitress in a diner. She was 17 when I met her I was 22. I didn’t know the age difference at the time. She was on her own at the time. Yes, there were drugs and she hung around with the wrong people – it was NYC. After high school she went work and college classes – accounting of all things. I was insensitive to it I guess, I’ve been working since 15, school in the day work at night – was there a different life? Was there some world where parents gave their children guidance, spending money and paid for their college? Was there a world where people didn’t start drinking at 14 and go to bars at 15 and if you only smoked pot and drank you were on the straight and narrow?
Yes we loved each other like the young do - intensely. It was like giving a Ferrari to a teenage boy who doesn’t know how to drive. There is a lot of desire but little knowledge as to how to drive it or what to do with it. She never slapped me upside my head and I was too focused on other things to realize what I was screwing up and losing her. I guess part of the reason was that I kept everything inside and looked as if I knew what I was doing. Then again she did slap me but, I was too screwed up to know what it really meant. You and I know it would have taken a miracle to make it last more than a couple of years and it was best that we parted. That is the problem with young love; the potential dies with it and it is that potential that we miss. We see the happy life that could have been and not the divorce, children and broken home that most likely would have been. We were not to blame; we were a product of our families. Most of all I’m sorry for being one of the people that hurt her - that is a pain that will never go away. Looking back at these pictures I know there never will be a way to correct it.
“The teacher will come, when the student is ready.” I guess she always has been my teacher trying to tell me what is important.
What is important is not, the stock market, where you live, your job, the SWR, if you are retired or working or even how many years you will live. It is the life and love in your years that is important. It is a difficult lesson to learn. I'm still learning. I still have to make it a reality. It is a lesson better learned when you are young. Why? So you don’t look back at a photograph with regrets.
It is difficult to look at her picture. She is pretty. I miss that smile. I will always miss that smile. I wish I could hold her naked one more time, calm her fears, tell her she beautiful, strong and loved for nothing else than being who she is.
I've been to most of the "must see" places in the world - The Vatican (Rome), Tai Mahal (India), Egypt, Forbidden City (China), New York City, Hong Kong, London, Paris, Rome etc. and they don't mean much in the scheme of things.
Today’s lesson is:
You have to look back sometimes to see where you are going.
