FUEGO
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2007
- Messages
- 7,746
Brewer, I was curious how your ER was going. This sucks man! Sorry to hear there are adjustment issues in your household.
Can you take up drinking? Or other things that are legal in CO and tend to make one more mellow? 25% serious and 75% kidding, since you don't want to acquire a dependency.
If this is something that is adversely impacting your quality of life, I'd say figure it out.
My wife is still working, so we haven't had any adjustment issues so far. I do worry once she goes ER full time what it's going to be like. I always rib her about her comment she made one rainy day. "I'm bored, entertain me". As if that's my sole responsibility! My concern is that my "me time" might get cut pretty short if I'm in charge of her entertainment.
She still gets stressed from work occasionally, but at least I have time and mental energy to listen.
As for arguing, focus on what you are trying to achieve. That sounds stupid, but sometimes it's best to step back from the conversation and have a meta-conversation about what you're discussing or how you will discuss it. That does 2 things: identifies your communication isn't working, and provides a better method of working things out.
For example, when I think my wife's idea is dumb, sometimes I'll get pissy and instead of devoting mental energy to asking questions like "what's your motivation here?" or "what do you mean by that?" or "can you explain that?" I just get grouchy and fire off a zinger. That latter method of handling my side of the discussion usually sucks (in hindsight).
Can you take up drinking? Or other things that are legal in CO and tend to make one more mellow? 25% serious and 75% kidding, since you don't want to acquire a dependency.
If this is something that is adversely impacting your quality of life, I'd say figure it out.
My wife is still working, so we haven't had any adjustment issues so far. I do worry once she goes ER full time what it's going to be like. I always rib her about her comment she made one rainy day. "I'm bored, entertain me". As if that's my sole responsibility! My concern is that my "me time" might get cut pretty short if I'm in charge of her entertainment.
She still gets stressed from work occasionally, but at least I have time and mental energy to listen.
As for arguing, focus on what you are trying to achieve. That sounds stupid, but sometimes it's best to step back from the conversation and have a meta-conversation about what you're discussing or how you will discuss it. That does 2 things: identifies your communication isn't working, and provides a better method of working things out.
For example, when I think my wife's idea is dumb, sometimes I'll get pissy and instead of devoting mental energy to asking questions like "what's your motivation here?" or "what do you mean by that?" or "can you explain that?" I just get grouchy and fire off a zinger. That latter method of handling my side of the discussion usually sucks (in hindsight).