audreyh1
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
We had to make a sudden out of state trip to help Dad move into assisted living. He decided to stop driving, so can no longer live at home way out in the country. He lives about 5 miles from a very small rural city. He wanted my sister, who was visiting from overseas, to move him somewhere ASAP. We flew out to take over so my sister could visit family up north.
Dad prefers staying in his area, rather than moving to the big city two hours away where my brother lives, or out of state near me. Fortunately we had already found a nice, small assisted living residence in a town close by and they had a room available. He has some long-time close connections in that town, even though he stopped driving there a couple of years ago.
It has been interesting and eye-opening watching Dad's progression as he ages. He wanted to stay living at the farm which he inherited from my Mom 20 years ago. He is 86.5 years old now. Over the past few years we've watched his world shrink. Really - once he passed 80. Each year fewer friends come by to visit - a few of them have died off anyway. Until 3 or 4 years ago he was still driving to most of his usual shops and activities within a 30 mile radius. But that radius kept shrinking until the past year or so he didn't drive any further than the small city 5 miles away. He is quite frail physically, but still in good shape mentally.
This year he stopped cooking meals - driving into town for breakfast and lunch. That is his main social interaction these days. He has cereal at night at home. When we visited in the summer we cleaned out his fridge leaving nothing but the milk and fruit for his cereal, and his chocolate. Anything else just goes bad and he stopped shop for anything else.
This year we've also noticed that at home he watches more TV, and is probably becoming increasingly bored alone at home. Increasingly isolated.
He'll probably do well in assisted living. He knows a few of the people there. He'll be around more people most of the day, but will have his own room to retreat to. Meals, cleaning, laundry, will all be taken care of. Not having to drive or grocery shop will be a relief, I think. He'll have his internet and TV and phone - the things he uses most.
Anyway - that is what we hope - that he will do well in that environment.
This experience has reinforced for me the desire to have myself set up in independent/assisted living well before I stop driving or otherwise need it. But we all understood that Dad wanted to stay out at the farm as long as he could.
Dad prefers staying in his area, rather than moving to the big city two hours away where my brother lives, or out of state near me. Fortunately we had already found a nice, small assisted living residence in a town close by and they had a room available. He has some long-time close connections in that town, even though he stopped driving there a couple of years ago.
It has been interesting and eye-opening watching Dad's progression as he ages. He wanted to stay living at the farm which he inherited from my Mom 20 years ago. He is 86.5 years old now. Over the past few years we've watched his world shrink. Really - once he passed 80. Each year fewer friends come by to visit - a few of them have died off anyway. Until 3 or 4 years ago he was still driving to most of his usual shops and activities within a 30 mile radius. But that radius kept shrinking until the past year or so he didn't drive any further than the small city 5 miles away. He is quite frail physically, but still in good shape mentally.
This year he stopped cooking meals - driving into town for breakfast and lunch. That is his main social interaction these days. He has cereal at night at home. When we visited in the summer we cleaned out his fridge leaving nothing but the milk and fruit for his cereal, and his chocolate. Anything else just goes bad and he stopped shop for anything else.
This year we've also noticed that at home he watches more TV, and is probably becoming increasingly bored alone at home. Increasingly isolated.
He'll probably do well in assisted living. He knows a few of the people there. He'll be around more people most of the day, but will have his own room to retreat to. Meals, cleaning, laundry, will all be taken care of. Not having to drive or grocery shop will be a relief, I think. He'll have his internet and TV and phone - the things he uses most.
Anyway - that is what we hope - that he will do well in that environment.
This experience has reinforced for me the desire to have myself set up in independent/assisted living well before I stop driving or otherwise need it. But we all understood that Dad wanted to stay out at the farm as long as he could.