Seeing ex-colleagues

[aja8888]

I'm 78...running out of colleagues to visit. And also running out of old friends and classmates. If you like them, spend some time with them. It will not hurt.

 

[Dtail]

When they ask what you do all day, ask what they do on weekends. Then reply, "That's what I do all day."

Nice witty response as usual.
Various thread versions of this subject have come up over time.
I will still stick to my main response that there is an underlying jealousy surrounding this concept.
As a secondary reason, if one earns a very good living and is in a semi powerful position, they just can't give up the ego satisfaction from that position.

I was speaking to a guy who is 74 and has been retired from his job as a managing partner of a local law firm. He stated that no one looks at you in the same way now. I stated so what......

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

I roughly laid out my life - spending a lot more time of self care (exercising - at least an hour a day hike while listening to audio books)...

How would you know if a mountain lion or bear is stalking you with your earphones in?!!!!


-BB

 

[Dtail]

For the first couple of months after I retired I'd get text invites to a weekly after work get together at a local restaurant. It was a mix of active workers and retirees. I had never socialized with any of them outside of work before and it made no sense to me to start now since the majority of the conversation was going to be work related. It struck me as very odd that any retiree would want to participate in something like that. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in knowing what's happening at work since I left. I do keep up with a few ex-coworkers who I shared hobbies with, but we don't talk about work. One year in and I have no idea how things are going inside the company, the status of my old job, how projects I was working on panned out, etc. And I don't care.

After I retired, I made a conscious effort not to keep in contact with anyone from my career. Took some effort, but just don't want to know anything about their work and all the complaints that go with it.

 

[Exchme]

I just attended a get together with some former work folks and recent retirees. One guy had plenty of money but had put off retirement until age 69 and had been retired about a year. I asked him how he was doing and he told me that he and his wife had been about to leave for some international travel when he came home from the store and found his wife on the floor, gone from a heart attack.

There are no guarantees about future health or life, enjoy what we are granted and don't let other's choices affect you.

 

[RetiredHappy]

My sister who is 2 years older than me could have retired comfortably about 10 years ago, in her late 40s/early 50s. She retired at least 4 times and each time, she hated the lack of motivation to get up early, and led an unhealthy lifestyle of staying up late and waking up after noon. She went back to work after each stint of retirement. She volunteers a ton for decades, and is on all sorts of boards but still she needed to have a routine to wake up early during the week. She is turning 62 this year and no end in sight as to when she will retire. She owns 4 multi-million dollar homes (each), together with her husband who has not worked in 20 years. He manages their rentals and chauffeured their kids when they were young, with the youngest one gradutating this year. He is in poor health for the past few years and I am hoping that they will spend more time together.

 

[Music Lover]

For the first couple of months after I retired I'd get text invites to a weekly after work get together at a local restaurant. It was a mix of active workers and retirees. I had never socialized with any of them outside of work before and it made no sense to me to start now since the majority of the conversation was going to be work related. It struck me as very odd that any retiree would want to participate in something like that. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in knowing what's happening at work since I left. I do keep up with a few ex-coworkers who I shared hobbies with, but we don't talk about work. One year in and I have no idea how things are going inside the company, the status of my old job, how projects I was working on panned out, etc. And I don't care.

After I retired, I made a conscious effort not to keep in contact with anyone from my career. Took some effort, but just don't want to know anything about their work and all the complaints that go with it.

I worked in a large govt. office for 33 years and made many life long friends. I've been retired almost 6 years now and am still friends with many of the people I met at work. Some are still working, others are retired. I don't really care what's happening at the office but when we get together the shop talk is mostly limited to who retired, who died, got married/divorced etc., which really isn't shop talk so it's not an issue.

 

[timbervest]

I worked for 23 years at MegaCorp and left 20 years ago for another job, However, for years we used to have an annual lunch get together with about a dozen or so folks from the old company some eventually retired and some still working at other jobs. It was a real family environment and some continued to socialize regularly and others not but we all at least did the annual lunch. It was fun to catch up with what everyone was doing. Unfortunately, many have passed away or were eventually unable to come or moved away. We have not done it for several years. Funny how a shared experience (especially in the first part of one's career) can cement relationships that last long after that experience has passed.

 

[momoftwo]

I retired after 42 years in Mega healthcare.
We're not wealthy but we have 'enough".

I was a little reluctant to leave a career I loved. But at 62, health became an issue for me and DH, 4 years older.

I do miss the day to day interactions with small group of coworkers who spent our decades together working, but also raising families, playing volleyball, meeting for drinks, etc.

After 3 years, our core 5 still gather every few months. All but one now retired.
Our talk is of trips and sports and grandchildren.

The other 95 coworkers I do not miss. Not do I think they miss me!

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I was speaking to a guy who is 74 and has been retired from his job as a managing partner of a local law firm. He stated that no one looks at you in the same way now. I stated so what......

Maybe because now people can respect him?

 

[FLJim]

The ones still working who ask, 'what do you DO all day' are scared of retirement. Scared because they likely have not planned and saved, and know that retirement can be expensive. They know that their income in retirement won't cover their expenses. So they must keep working, telling themselves they can't retire because they would be bored.

 

[CP Soon]

For the first couple of months after I retired I'd get text invites to a weekly after work get together at a local restaurant. It was a mix of active workers and retirees. I had never socialized with any of them outside of work before and it made no sense to me to start now since the majority of the conversation was going to be work related. It struck me as very odd that any retiree would want to participate in something like that. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in knowing what's happening at work since I left. I do keep up with a few ex-coworkers who I shared hobbies with, but we don't talk about work. One year in and I have no idea how things are going inside the company, the status of my old job, how projects I was working on panned out, etc. And I don't care.

Exactly! I'm 13 months in and only keep in communication via text to a couple of former co-workers. One co-worker is still the keeper of sporting event tickets and still keeps me in the loop! Other than that, I really couldn't give a tiny rats a$$ about anything at Mega Corp. I have better things to think about.

 

[Librarian]

Besides him, I encountered others and they seemed to look upon me as a zoo animal. One (predictably) asked: WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?!?!? I roughly laid out my life - spending a lot more time of self care (exercising - at least an hour a day hike while listening to audio books), reading, diving into things I never had time to do while working, tending to my HS senior, helping with my husband's business by doing bookkeeping, cooking more fresh meals instead of eating out. Most of them looked at me like I was from Mars.

Doesn't sound crazy at all!
I am retiring in May at 56 (after DH retired last May at 58) & have been making personal "goals" for retirement. My son balked--weren't goals for jobs?? (UGH I HATED when we started having to write goals...I'm a highly ambitious person, but don't TELL me I HAVE to).

My list sounds a lot like yours. Exercise more regularly, read the books I've accumulated (purged when downsized 3 years ago...managed to collect many more already, both in print & digital!), organized the multitude of photos (owned a scrapbook store 20 years ago...haven't done much of that since!), cook healthy meals at home & TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL. May-August is to be avoided due to golf league (but not 100% off limits...) but I have almost a monthly trip booked next fall/winter!

My husband even CLEANS weekly (he only did when asked in our 2x bigger home before...)

 

[athena53]

I was speaking to a guy who is 74 and has been retired from his job as a managing partner of a local law firm. He stated that no one looks at you in the same way now. I stated so what......

I noticed that a bit when I went to a meeting of my professional society in Toronto a few years after retiring. I really liked Toronto so I figured it was a good excuse. I did meet up with people I'd known for years- even hugged a few- but noticed the rainmaking types steered clear of me. I was no longer in a position to bring them in to discuss their services or provide input to decisions about bringing on consultants. If we did talk, it was brief and I could see them still trying to survey the room in search of more promising prey. I was glad to be in my position and not theirs.

 

[FIREarly]

When they ask what you do all day, ask what they do on weekends. Then reply, "That's what I do all day."

And probably at a slower pace because you have 7 days to do it per week instead of 2 days.

 

[freedomatlast]

I retired several years ago but since then, I've been taking on consulting and contract work of my choosing. Recently this work took me back to my prior place of employment a couple of times.

I really enjoyed catching up with many of my former coworkers and team members and they enjoyed showing me some of the new things they were working on. Some of the people I had mentored told me how much they appreciated how much I had helped them and that I had made a positive difference in their life, which was really nice to hear. Others who had previously asked advice on how to retire early, seemed to enjoy giving me updates on how close they were to pulling the trigger to retire.

 

[imnontrad]

Consider replying, "And why are you still working when you could be enjoying life?"

 

[tenant13]

I move around a lot (currently on my third month in Portugal) and I love taking pictures so my Instagram pretty much answers that kind of questions. And it’s mostly something like “hey, we’re having dinner at the end of February, wanna join?” “I can’t , I’m in Europe atm”. “Oh, ok. Next time then.” And when we do meet they just ask how the weather was…

 

[Helen]

I hosted a dinner party for about 7 women I had worked with in IT. It was the December before covid hit and I'm so glad I had the party. We talked a little bit about the people we had worked with but mostly about what was going on in everyone's life.

I think when I get back home this summer I will host another get together in our backyard.

 

[RockLife]

There are people that what life is really about and some just will never be able to leave a structured life.
I know so many in my field of business that just can't walk away for whatever reason. None that I know that have 40 to 50 years in need to extra money but just can't lead a life without having a job. They really don't have a life other than thinking that no one else can do their job better than they can. I honestly think that is their reason not to retire.

I agree completely. Many, many people can't imagine doing what they want to do, all day, every day. They simply can't imagine it. The structure of a job is what they crave, having someone tell them where to be and at what time. I personally chafed at that for years and the day I retired, I reveled in the freedom. Freedom!

 

[drcha]

Great for you, Robot Mom

A couple of thoughts. First, you are doing exactly what you want to do. No need to apologize or explain!

There are people who, even in their 70s and 80s, really don't have the money. They are doing strange things with it: buying new cars all the time, paying their ex or exes, giving their adult kids money (and wondering why those kids never get on their feet), and taking on second mortgages and debt for all this.

There will always be the naysayers. Do you remember people who said you would not be able to earn the grades to get into an engineering program? And some who said you should do something easier? And those who said it would be difficult for you to work in a male-majority profession? You proved them all wrong. Now you have a different group of naysayers, and you can do the same thing you have done with all the rest: ignore them.

I'm with you! "Every day a weekend" is the key to happiness. I don't much care about sailing around the world or any other large, overarching endeavor. I'm content to spend my time playing my piano, swimming, hiking, making cakes and dinners for friends, doing a little work for my local charities, seeing movies, cooking healthy food, visiting family and friends, and reading the hundreds of books on my list. If a good friend wants to take a vacation, I go with them. But I don't feel a need to be engaged in a Christmas-letter-worthy activity all the time. Home is where my heart is.

 

[djsander]

It’s 11:25 AM here and we are still in our bathrobes. We get up when we want to and stay up late reading. Get up early when we do our volunteering and when we need to go somewhere. Planning on hiking this afternoon and probably play some board games. DW use to complain I was up everyday @ 5:00 AM and sleeping late was 7. In one year in we are enjoying our retirement. We do whatever we feel like and are enjoying each other’s company. We are going places and seeing things we didn’t always have the time to do when I was working. Everydays a Saturday.

 

[punkinhead]

Just minutes ago I got a text from an ex-colleague who's in Poland installing the last robotic assembly line I designed before retiring. He only texted to show me a picture of the meal he's having rather than ask me questions so it must be going well. I can't express how happy I am to never need to travel for work again.

 

[shafer9]

You’re overthinking this.

For years I had my own small ad agency n it was at times fun and at time, not. But I did pretty well when I had it. Eventually I got bored with it plus business tapered off (it’s always been a kids business) and I just decided it was time to call it quits. I did it in small increments, and then as business tailed off, I just pulled the plug.

I will say that it took me about a year to stop feeling guilty about not working all the time. After a year, no problem!. I do keep myself quite busy, playing several instruments, playing a guitar in a band, songwriting and recording, exercising six days a week, etc. I truly enjoy being able to do the things I like to do and not having to do the things that I disliked. It’s quite a blessing. As a cancer survivor, I am living in the bonus round n I am sincerely grateful for it.

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

Years ago a colleague at w*rk and I were talking about vacation time--he felt the five weeks paid time off, plus 12 holidays, we got at our employer was too limited. But he said it was a particular personal preference because, "I need more time off than the average bear."

I loved how he brought Yogi Bear into the conversation to express an important character trait of us FIRE'd folks.

-BB