I was mostly self-sustaining at 18 when I went off to college. Parents paid what they could, when they could, which wasn't much... maybe about one-third of my undergrad tuition costs and zero for grad school. I worked throughout college, no loans or financial aid of any kind.
When our 2 kids were growing up, I always told them that would be the expectation for them as well. Turns out, that's not entirely feasible, given the rate of inflation in college cost vs minimum wage. We didn't want to see them take on debt or spend 7 years going to college, but we wanted them to have some "skin in the game." So some balance was in order.
We ended up paying 100% of their tuition and fees, and about 50% of their housing. We also covered their health insurance, car insurance, and cell phones. They paid everything else via part-time and summer jobs (50% housing, all food, gas, bills, etc). Once graduated, they were 100% on their own immediately. They both graduated on time with no debt. One is a teacher and one is an electrical engineer. They both had jobs lined up well before graduating.
Both are in their mid 20s and off to a good start in terms of staying out of debt and saving regularly. They both live below their means, but are not saving at a high rate yet. I've noticed as they get raises, they tend to find ways to spend it rather than increase savings rate. They'll find their own balance over time. Either way, they're both much better off than I was at their age.
