First, let me say that DH is
He does, however, have trouble seeing the other person's perspective.
We've been married over 30 years, and ... I wouldn't trade him.
I've recently retired. He wants to keep working.
(Can you see where this is leading?)
We haven't had any thunderstorms ... yet. But I can see the clouds forming.
He is beginning to get the attitude, "a great inconvenience to you is better than a small cost to me."
For example,
We needed to drop off a car for a repair.
The plan was for us to get up early. He would drive one car, I would drive a 2nd, and then I'd give him my car and take the bus home. We'd pick up the repaired car after he got off work.
That would cost me an extra hour, since I'd get to town before I could do my errand, and since the bus home runs infrequently. But it would save him 20 minutes, because he wouldn't have to drop me home on his way to work. That wasn't the problem.
I agreed to the plan, since I needed to go get a shot anyway. My condition was to arrange the car repair on Tues, Thurs, or Friday when the clinic was open, so I wouldn't have to make a 2nd trip to town this week.
He got sulky about that; wanted to have freedom to schedule the car repair without considering that Wednesday would be inconvenient for me. Eventually, though, he gave in.
So, how do you set boundaries when your spouse starts to assume you've got infinite free time which can be used for their convenience?
- generous
- self-sacrificing
- extremely hard-working
- intelligent, and
- kind to animals.
He does, however, have trouble seeing the other person's perspective.
We've been married over 30 years, and ... I wouldn't trade him.
I've recently retired. He wants to keep working.
(Can you see where this is leading?)
We haven't had any thunderstorms ... yet. But I can see the clouds forming.
He is beginning to get the attitude, "a great inconvenience to you is better than a small cost to me."
For example,
We needed to drop off a car for a repair.
The plan was for us to get up early. He would drive one car, I would drive a 2nd, and then I'd give him my car and take the bus home. We'd pick up the repaired car after he got off work.
That would cost me an extra hour, since I'd get to town before I could do my errand, and since the bus home runs infrequently. But it would save him 20 minutes, because he wouldn't have to drop me home on his way to work. That wasn't the problem.
I agreed to the plan, since I needed to go get a shot anyway. My condition was to arrange the car repair on Tues, Thurs, or Friday when the clinic was open, so I wouldn't have to make a 2nd trip to town this week.
He got sulky about that; wanted to have freedom to schedule the car repair without considering that Wednesday would be inconvenient for me. Eventually, though, he gave in.
So, how do you set boundaries when your spouse starts to assume you've got infinite free time which can be used for their convenience?