Some of you may remember...

https://www.archhospice.ca/dragonfly-story

So sorry for your loss, Be strong and carry on for her in many ways she would have loved you to.

DRAGONFLY STORY

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of waterbugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did not notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

"Look!" said one of the waterbugs to another, "one of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going!" Up, up, up it slowly went, even as they watched, the waterbug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it did not return. "That's funny!" said one waterbug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the waterbugs gathered its friends together. "I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where she went and why." "We promise" they said solemnly.

One spring day not long after, the very waterbug who suggested the plan found herself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up she went. Before she knew what was happening, she had broken through the surface of water and fallen into the broad and free lily pad above. When she awoke, she looked about with surprise. She could not believe what she saw! A startling change had come over her old body! Her movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as she struggled, she felt an impulse to move her wings.

The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from her new body. She moved her wings again and suddenly found herself above the water. She had become a dragonfly and had landed happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that she chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, she was right above her old friends, the waterbugs! There they were scurrying around, just as she had been doing sometime before. The dragonfly remembered his promise.

Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly, she hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that she was a dragonfly, she could no longer go into the water. "I can't return!" she said in dismay. "At least I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the waterbugs would know my new body. I guess I will just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then the dragonfly winged off happily into the new world of sun and air.
 
I am very sorry to hear of your loss and offer my sincere condolences.
 
I also wondered why you were spending Xmas alone. You took great care of your wife and will find your way with time. Lean on your family and friends. I am deeply sorry.
 
Thanks for all the kind thoughts, condolences and timely advice. Some of your messages brought tears to my eyes again. I never thought a grown old guy could cry so much, but I surprised myself. Our children appear to have been handling this crisis better than me and that’s been a help to me.
 
I am so sorry to read of the loss of your dear wife. I always read your posts and it sounds like she went through so many health challenges.

As you go through this difficult process I wish you PEACE and the ability to find joy again as you move forward.

I hope your family is nearby and available to you.

{{{HUGS}}}
 
My deepest sympathy on your loss. I can't really speak to dealing with such grief from my own experience as I have not had such a loss. My mother, however did. She lost my father to a heart attack when she was only 59 but she managed to cope for over forty years until she passed last March having reached 100 years. For the most part, she was sustained over that time by close friendships she made following my father's death. Neither my brother nor I lived near enough early on to be there on a daily basis although she and I talked by phone virtually every day for the rest of her life. Eventually, she moved into a retirement home close to my brother and made new friends; the old ones still kept in touch and when I visited, I made sure to take my mother to see them. No one ever replaced my father in her life but she was able to find much enjoyment in her friends and family.
 
Sorry for your loss, Aja888. You took amazingly good care of her from all I can see here.
 
Hi aja888.

Another friend from this group chiming in and telling you we wish we could help somehow.

I do remember asking my grandmother about losing her husband after perhaps 65 years. She told me in the beginning it felt like the walls sometimes were closing in on her. Then after months - like 10 or more - she said every now and then she had some moments without grief. She remembered her husband but had times when she could do so without overwhelming sadness. We hope these times come for you eventually.
 
Sorry for your loss. I have no experience in what you must be going through, cannot imagine and have no words. Wishing you peace and good memories.
 
So sorry for your loss.
 
Aja8888, I have read so many times of your wife's health struggles and your obvious love for her. Please know you are in my prayers. Much sympathy.
 
Deeply sorry for your loss.
 
I'm so so sorry. Your love for her was obvious in your posts, especially those about the care she needed; please take care of yourself now.
 
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So sorry Aja.
 
Aja8888, I am so sorry for your loss. Deepest condolences.
 
My condolences Aja. It's a hard road that we know will come for us. It did for me almost 4 years ago. For me the first months weren't good. Loss of focus & brain fog. I could not read anything longer than a paragraph & remember it. Make lists....lots of lists. Somehow I collected widow(er) friends in the neighborhood. We went for bike rides, walks & lunch. One I approached & asked about the brain fog. She explained that the brain is getting rewired. That helped me to understand.

For me I exercised a lot. I rode my bike several times a week. 35-40 miles ea ride. It exhausted me & took my mind off my loss. I also journaled. And I tried to be outward
focused. On a Reddit site for Widows(ers) somebody posted they try to do 3 things every day. Find some beauty, show some grace to those around you & find something to be grateful for. That helped me a lot.

Good luck & may God bless you
 

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