Stop Waiting! A Rant

[friar1610]

So have you told the car sales person that this is the last car you will ever buy?

Bought a car this past spring just before my 73rd birthday. Same make and model as the previous one that gave me 13 years. I've jokingly (?!) been saying that if this one does the same it'll last longer than I will.

 

[ER Eddie]

OP here.

Gee. My post was intended as a fairly lighthearted observation on how one should not let time slip away while deciding on whether to make the jump.

No intention of telling anyone to do anything. If my "stop waiting and go for it" is considered as some sort of command to be taken literally regardless of one's personal situation, I'm not sure how to respond.

[...]
I have no 'motivation' here; just some musings on a slow rainy day; no coercion was intended, nor I hope, implied.

I don't know why anyone would interpret it that way. That seems like a very exaggerated view of the importance or influence of a single post on the internet -- as if a post from a stranger could really have a determining influence on whether someone decides to retire or not.

I mean, come on. A single post, or a series of them, isn't going to push any rational person into or out of retirement. Retirement is a much bigger decision than that. Anyone who is unduly influenced by a single post on the internet, with regard to a major decision like that, needs their head examined.

I appreciated your post and your reminder. I think it's natural to forget about death or assume we'll just keep on trucking, so it's good to be reminded that we will eventually plotz. I was talking to a woman a week ago who was 61 and had seen several friends of hers die in their 50s, and it was changing her views of when to retire. This is just one story among many.

Don't worry about "protecting" us from your opinion. We're all adults here and can make up our own minds. Besides, it's not like these thoughts are scandalous or anything that people haven't thought about anyhow.

 

[brucethebroker]

However, I recently turned 65, (well, hell, I guess it wasn't that recently. It was 3 months ago), and DW was worried about the money we are spending to snowbird this year. I remind ed her that in in 15 years I would be 80. To me, that's the message./QUOTE]

Yup, I agree. If I only have a dozen or so years of health left, do I REALLY want to spend it up north, with gray skies and cold temps? Or would I rather "double up" on spring time and enjoy winters outside down south

 

[Dreamer]

My sister, who is 70, and I were just discussing the same thing. I am 65. We have no idea where the time has gone and can't believe that we will be 80 in such a short time. We are now the "oldest" generation. (We have 2 aunts that are still living.).

I retired at 53 from my career job and then decided to go back to work part-time for 5 years to finish getting my social security credits. It was a silly goal of mine and if I had it to do over, I would say forget it.

I unexpectantly was sick this year, went to the ER twice and the second time they did emergency surgery. I had sepsis and they kept asking me why did I wait so long to get treated. I kept telling everyone that I could not have surgery yet, because my cardiologist wanted me off of my blood thinner, Xarelto, for 5 days before surgery. No one would listen and I finally accepted that I would probably die. I was so sick at the time that I really did not care. Life is short and you never know when your life can change quickly.

I am glad that I retired from my career job at 53 in 6/2006 and was able to have so many good times. I hope to live for many more years, but if I am not able to, at least I did not die at my desk at work.

 

[Jerry1]

Actually the calculated tax is $13,500 - $90k x 15% (fed and state) = $76,500. That tax rate is probably high but better safe than sorry.

That’s still pretty high. For Federal, $90K with married filing joint, you subtract $24.4K. The tax on $65.6K is $7,484. Not sure what your State Tax is, but seems unlikely that it’s almost as high as your Federal Tax.

 

[CaptTom]

I still chuckle when I buy a tube of caulk, or pick out roof shingles, which say "40 year guarantee" on them.

Good! After that, it's not MY problem!

 

[Car-Guy]

I'm a similar age and have almost exactly the same thoughts as the OP. Except I don't expect to be here in 15 years and certainly not 20. And I guess that's okay with me (good thing ) I personally I don't know anyone ~20 years older than me that's in any physical/mental condition that I'd look forward to.

Many of my relatives (parents, grandparents) have lived well into their 90's and one was over 100. My memories of them in their later years are burned into my head.

Sorry, that's not for me... Getting old is not for sissies.

 

[joeea]

Gee. My post was intended as a fairly lighthearted observation on how one should not let time slip away while deciding on whether to make the jump.

STOP WAITING. It’s later than you think! Go for it. Time is NOT on your side.

...

BE PATIENT. You have the rest of your life. Relax. Enjoy your LIFE each day.

 

[RAE]

However, I recently turned 65, (well, hell, I guess it wasn't that recently. It was 3 months ago), and DW was worried about the money we are spending to snowbird this year. I remind ed her that in in 15 years I would be 80. To me, that's the message./QUOTE]

Yup, I agree. If I only have a dozen or so years of health left, do I REALLY want to spend it up north, with gray skies and cold temps? Or would I rather "double up" on spring time and enjoy winters outside down south

+1. We are spending more on our snowbirding trips than we used to, mostly because we stay longer down south now, before heading home. I really do not enjoy coming back to snow and ice anymore. I used to get a little nervous if we started to exceed my planned budget for the trip, but as I get older, those concerns are fading away. I'm not planning to leave a big inheritance to anyone, so I might as well enjoy myself during the last 15 (or so?) winters of my life.

 

[Lawrencewendall]

How does one deal with a SO who will not curb spending or stick to a budget to be able to pull the trigger?

 

[Dtail]

How does one deal with a SO who will not curb spending or stick to a budget to be able to pull the trigger?

Am living with an SO who typically would like to spend. I worked up the budget including a cost saving move down south. She understood that it was either finding a low paying job for me, or spending lots of time together in the new phase of our life. She chose the latter.

Nevertheless, once in awhile there needs to be a reminder about spending, but overall no issues.
Sometimes it can lead to a decision making lifestyle staying together, but hopefully not.

 

[spender400]

A bit of a rant here on aging which is why I put this in ‘Young Dreamers’ but it could also apply to you OMY’ers, the “will I run out of money?” folks and a few fence sitters.

Note that this is not a complaint or request for propping up, consolation or insight; just writing this all down makes me feel better (I think) with the hope that it might inspire some to get going.

Here goes:
Turning 40 didn’t bother me. Turning 50 didn’t bother me. Turning 60 and even 65 didn’t bother me at all.

But now, I’m 66 and will soon be 67. Wow! THIS is bothering me. A lot!

I find myself now thinking: “In 3 years, I’m going to be 70!!! Heck, in 13 very short years I’ll be 80!!” The other day, someone was doing some work for us and said “You won’t have to think about this for 20 years now”. And it hit me: In 20 years--if I’m lucky--or unlucky depending--I’ll be 87 years old.

Short story: I’m starting to see the horizon and I don’t like it one bit! Not one bit at all.

I’ve often mentioned the older guy I was chatting with at a bar once. He said: “So, you’re 60? You need realize that even if you live to be 90, you have 15, 18 years at best of good summers left. After that you stop doing things, have medical issues and just don’t care about things as much...enjoy what you got”. Well, those “15, 18 years” are now more like 8 or 11.

Now, as far as longevity, I may (big ‘may’) be in luck. Mom is 89, sharp as a tack, still drives, pretty good shape physically and is fully independent; her father hit 92 and her grandfather lived to be 104. True to that guy’s observations however, for the past 10 years she doesn’t do much except go out to dinner, shopping and sit at home reading and watching TV. She still flies to Florida each winter but once there, she’s pretty sedentary and doesn’t even like sitting at the pool anymore.

But as DW points out, mom kind of spoils us. I have no guarantee that I’ll be in her kind of shape in 20 years. I’m in pretty good shape (played full contact hockey twice a week until I was 50), look 10 years younger (so they say) with no major health issues--as of yet. But unlike mom, I could just as easily be in a wheelchair drooling at that age.

But still. More and more I find myself thinking things like: ‘well, in 25 short years it won’t matter to me one way or the other’.

The great gift I was given was being forced into RE at age 52 and it’s been a really great, fun adventure for the past 15 years. But here’s the thing: those 15 years have gone by in a flash and I say: “In another of those ‘flashes’ I’ll be 82.”

So. I guess my point is for all of you out there who are sitting on the fence, doing the OMY for the 5th straight year, worried about running out of cash and so on: STOP WAITING. It’s later than you think! Go for it. Time is NOT on your side. Even as one of the lucky ones, I still can’t beat father time.

I can't help but agree with Marko. I'm 47 and keeping my FIRE matches dry for now, but neither of my parents leave the house and both are 80 y.o. Hence I'm looking to free myself from the burden of work within 2 years. I'm not sure I understand 2% withdrawal rate targeted by some as that supposes the principal never erodes but accumulates. Perhaps growing a legacy is a different goal to retiring and being comfortable for the duration of one's own life, which is short.

 

[Carpediem]

Am living with an SO who typically would like to spend. I worked up the budget including a cost saving move down south. She understood that it was either finding a low paying job for me, or spending lots of time together in the new phase of our life. She chose the latter.

Nevertheless, once in awhile there needs to be a reminder about spending, but overall no issues.

I had similar concerns/challenges in the past but fortunately, I was able to create a budget and set the guardrails for (clothing) expenditures and let DW have at it within those guardrails and she has been great. I still don't understand the need to buy stuff (clothes) when there really isn't a need but on the other hand, I probably wear/keep stuff too long so what do I know.

 

[joeea]

How does one deal with a SO who will not curb spending or stick to a budget to be able to pull the trigger?

In that case, one doesn't pull the trigger.

 

[Nemo2]

In that case, one doesn't pull the trigger.

Or....adjusts the aim.

 

[Koogie]

OT but I attended a public talk given by Ranulph Fiennes at the Royal Geographical Society when I lived in London in 1994. He and Mike Stroud had crossed Antarctica the year before.

I stuck around and sat on the periphery while a few people peppered him with questions for nearly an hour after the formal Q&A ended. I'll never forget his big catchers mitt hands. He flapped them around aggressively when he spoke. A few years later he ended up cutting off a few of his own fingertips with a coping saw after a misadventure in the Arctic.

To say he is an intense guy is to say that water is wet.

 

[Red Badger]

How does one deal with a SO who will not curb spending or stick to a budget to be able to pull the trigger?

I had that problem ~30 years ago. I **DX'd her.


**Army terminology for swapping an unserviceable item for a serviceable one.

 

[Teacher Terry]

DH just found out he has a interview for a full time engineering job and he is very excited.

 

[Sue J]

How does one deal with a SO who will not curb spending or stick to a budget to be able to pull the trigger?

DH is the retired one here. He is also a constant spender. He retired at 55 and his retirement would be no fun at all if he couldn't spend money when he wanted. But the reality is that as a retired person he knew that doesn't make sense. So we decided he'd have a set amount that he was free to spend on what he wanted. It's a reasonable amount considering our income.

His monthly money rarely lasts through the month. Half the fun for him is finding stuff that he previously bought and is done with and he sells things on ebay or at a local shop. It's the hunt and the find and the sell that is fun for him. He's having a really good time!

I don't understand the need to constantly buy stuff. I buy something when I need or want it but I don't have a lot of wants. I'm very content using the things I already have and replacing things when needed.

Every year he gets a decent COLA on his pension and we talk about what the COLA will go toward. He's never asked for more spending money. He seems to like the game of working within his limits.

 

[Milton]

OT but I attended a public talk given by Ranulph Fiennes at the Royal Geographical Society when I lived in London in 1994. He and Mike Stroud had crossed Antarctica the year before.

I stuck around and sat on the periphery while a few people peppered him with questions for nearly an hour after the formal Q&A ended. I'll never forget his big catchers mitt hands. He flapped them around aggressively when he spoke. A few years later he ended up cutting off a few of his own fingertips with a coping saw after a misadventure in the Arctic.

To say he is an intense guy is to say that water is wet.

Too right!

DH is the retired one here. He is also a constant spender. He retired at 55 and his retirement would be no fun at all if he couldn't spend money... Half the fun for him is finding stuff that he previously bought and is done with and he sells things on ebay or at a local shop. It's the hunt and the find and the sell that is fun for him. He's having a really good time!

Wow. Like you, I can’t see the pleasure in such mindless consumption.

Be that as it may, it’s great to hear that you arrived at a reasonable budgeting mechanism that works for both of you. A good marriage involves compromise.

 

[joeea]

DH just found out he has a interview for a full time engineering job and he is very excited.

Nice! Good luck.

 

[MikeD]

That seems like a very exaggerated view of the importance or influence of a single post on the internet -- as if a post from a stranger could really have a determining influence on whether someone decides to retire or not.

Anyone who is unduly influenced by a single post on the internet, with regard to a major decision like that, needs their head examined.

Well, I hope no-one has their head examined because of your careless off-hand casual remarks. While this sort of thing would be good for the psychiatric professions, it may cause some poor souls to spend too much of their hard-earned income on unnecessary mental health advice!

,
Mike D.

 

[Chuckanut]

I retired a bit early and am glad I did. It has allowed me to travel more while I am still relatively healthy, and it has allowed me to be there for my children and now grandchildren in ways that I could not have done when working.

But....

I don't assume that the lives of others are like mine. I have friends my age who still work and are happy to do so. They have no interest in traveling (other than to visit out of state relatives once or twice a year), and they usually have a stay-at-home spouse to handle issues that may create a stressful conflict with their work. They find their work interesting and seem to have a great deal of control over what they do and when they do it. I am happy for them.

 

[Midpack]

I’ve often mentioned the older guy I was chatting with at a bar once. He said: “So, you’re 60? You need realize that even if you live to be 90, you have 15, 18 years at best of good summers left. After that you stop doing things, have medical issues and just don’t care about things as much...enjoy what you got”. Well, those “15, 18 years” are now more like 8 or 11.

I am a big supporter of everyone working toward FI, but I am not a big supporter of encouraging everyone to retire early just because they reach FI. It's a good call for some, and not others - and neither is right or wrong for everyone. Retiring, especially early, is a separate decision from reaching FI.

But once retired...I have been thinking a lot about the above, trying to be conscious of all the things I/we want to do that will require some physical strength-ability-stamina. I need to make sure I get to those activities sooner rather than later, before it's too late. Unfortunately DW was even more active than I was, but her physical abilities are fading faster than mine. So we need to get with the (physical) program sooner rather than later...

 

[corn18]

Get busy livin' or get busy diein'.

I don't have to quit my job to get busy livin'. What I do need to to is reevaluate my "why?". Why do I get up every day? Turns out, I have been unclear with my answer but very clear with my actions. I have lived to work. I love work. Love the challenges, Never thought twice about putting in the extra effort. Full speed ahead!

But you know what? 2 years ago I changed my why to my family. Lordy, has that put a super wrench in my focus. Not sure how to execute that why yet. But I am working through it with my wife and we will figure it out together. I imagine it looks a lot like most normal people. Work life balance where I can love my work and love my family. FI will enable me to get busy livin'. That happens next year.