Laurence, I still fill tied to my job even with no mortgage and even though we're living quite comfortably on half my income. So I shouldn't feel trapped, but I do. I think it might be a bit of a byproduct of being a highly responsible person. Not to make you feel lousy, but paying off the mortgage might not end that feeling of "gotta earn money, gotta sock it away, kids' college fund, retirement, aah! a new roof?".
I'm trying a different tactic this week. Be thankful for the good parts of my job -- flexible hours, decent commute, great pay, privacy, internet access, autonomy, low stress. Somehow it has worked for a few days, but I'm not sure if a mental adjustment will continue to work.
Neither of us are living for our jobs, and we'd be perfectly content without them. But if I can get more of a zen acceptance of it and focus my energy on living my life (which is the time I'm
not at work), then I'm going to enjoy life much more. But if I can be more accepting of my really boring job, then I don't need to spend the time I'm at home (which I should be enjoying) just trying to recover from yet another work day.
I've been finding that I'm in too much of a hurry to get things done -- finish mortgage, max out my pre-tax accounts, build up that after-tax fund, get things done around that house. That leads to too much stress on myself. FIRE isn't a race. 20 years is too long to just "suck it up and chug along".
My martial arts instructor has a number of favorite sayings, and they do have a grain of truth. One of them is "when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". Well, I'm trying to change the way I look at my job, and hopefully that'll help me out.
And of course the fact that I've taken 5 Mondays off this year in addition to 2 Monday holidays probably helps!