I am very serious about this. Why do we form societies and communities if not to help each other out? I am so tired of the "rugged individualist" attitude of I'm fine, screw you.
I agree with everything you said, and then some, Martha. When I get angry with the rugged individualists, though, I remember an incident from way back...
My brother always wanted to be a cop. When he was a cadet he idolized his mentor, Al, a seasoned police officer. He went on ride-alongs, spent time at the guy's house with his family, got hand-me-down uniforms as gifts from the guy, etc. etc. He wanted to be just like him.
One day his mentor answered a standard call to the home of a legless Vietnam vet who had raised a little hell in the past - nothing serious. On this day, in the grip of a flashback, the vet killed Al with a high-powered rifle as he stepped out of his patrol car. Right through the "bullet-proof" vest.
The first thing my brother said was that "Al got stupid." I was amazed at this -- I'd expected more anger at the vet, more rage at the fates, or... something. The last thing I was prepared for was a "blame the victim" comment.
Since then I've mulled this over and have come to the conclusion that my brother and others like him NEED to believe that it was the victim's fault, so that they can believe that if they do everything right, they won't be victims themselves. It's magical thinking, but if you're a cop, maybe its necessary.
Why am I relating all this? Because I think we all do it. I think that if I can point to an overweight person / smoker / overspender / etc. and blame them for their predicament, then I don't have to worry so much myself.
And when others (like yourself) argue that there's a VAST industry in this country dedicated to pushing food on consumers / getting smokers addicted / selling unnecessary consumer goods / etc., (not to MENTION the other industries selling weightloss programs / quit smoking programs / retirement savings programs / etc. to help them repair the damage), I have to pooh-pooh your point of view, and go back to attaching 100% blame to others to keep my fears at bay.
A few months ago my sister came within a few milimeters of being killed by a guy who ran a red light. If I allowed myself to REALLY dwell on and realize the sheer randomness of death, I probably couldn't function. Better to think I am completely in control of it.
Like I say, magical thinking.
When I think of rugged individualist as small, confused, and fearful humans, I can be a little less angry at them... most of the time. I can convince myself that what looks like cruelty and heartlessness is, maybe, something else.
P.S. My most heartfelt congratulations on your having stopped smoking.